ZenFighter
Member
from
Hi!
I'm Ania and it is nice to meet you all!
My story: For many years I used to struggle with depression episodes and eating disorders, however I used to manage quite well. I was never training a lot, but I used to be moderately active (occasional running, biking, climbing, horse riding, hiking and trekking, hula-hooping, sometimes dancing or aerial hoop). 2 years ago I had a big crisis due to some event in in my life, which made my depression and eating disorders symptoms escalate out of control. I was working from home, eating mostly ordered food and not moving at all (there were long days when I didn't even put a step out of my home). You can imagine how bad it was for my body. I get psychiatric/psychological help and now I'm finally mentally better and happier, however.... I've ended up with extra 30 kg to carry, pains in my back, knees and feet, body stiffness (my mobility was never great but know I cant event straight my arms behind my back) and general poor health. When lately I was trying to get back in shape (stuff that I thought would be easy even in my poor condition) I've faced so much resistance and discomfort in my body that I've never experienced before. I felt so discouraged and sad and struggling so much, that I didn't stick to activity. It was easier to let it go than to face the reality. And I felt ashamed of myself. I think I was to ambitious as I was not actually emotionally ready realize how much my body changed and I was excepting to much from myself at this point. But I don't want to do this anymore.
Something new: Now I want to try again and take it really, really slowly. I don't want to be fixed on high expectations of my body's performance, but just give it a lot of love, care. and respect to its current limitations. Even if I'm mentally better now, for a long time I used to be in a very dark place and I just feel like I'm learning from the start how to keep and follow even the simplest daily routines (eating regularly or washing the dishes). I want to be patient with myself and forgiving for my failures. Putting pressure on myself never got me really far. I am ready to share not only my fitness progress, but all my struggles, even with the simplest programs. I used to be ashamed of struggling with "easy" stuff. Not anymore. I don't want to try to prove to myself anything, as I used to. I am ready to accept myself as I am and heal. And that is something new.
It wasn't easy to share and be so honest, but it's a big step for me. I looked through some of your stories and it is very inspiring and touching to see how much support there is in this community.
I don't really now where to really start yet, I'm still doing my research on this page and I wan't to do something very, very simple, just to learn to follow any routine and be able to do it even when I feel very low. I was thinking of Vitality program. The simplest one, recovery one... and I'm still afraid of failure (old habits).. But it's okay. Let it be.
I'm Ania and it is nice to meet you all!
My story: For many years I used to struggle with depression episodes and eating disorders, however I used to manage quite well. I was never training a lot, but I used to be moderately active (occasional running, biking, climbing, horse riding, hiking and trekking, hula-hooping, sometimes dancing or aerial hoop). 2 years ago I had a big crisis due to some event in in my life, which made my depression and eating disorders symptoms escalate out of control. I was working from home, eating mostly ordered food and not moving at all (there were long days when I didn't even put a step out of my home). You can imagine how bad it was for my body. I get psychiatric/psychological help and now I'm finally mentally better and happier, however.... I've ended up with extra 30 kg to carry, pains in my back, knees and feet, body stiffness (my mobility was never great but know I cant event straight my arms behind my back) and general poor health. When lately I was trying to get back in shape (stuff that I thought would be easy even in my poor condition) I've faced so much resistance and discomfort in my body that I've never experienced before. I felt so discouraged and sad and struggling so much, that I didn't stick to activity. It was easier to let it go than to face the reality. And I felt ashamed of myself. I think I was to ambitious as I was not actually emotionally ready realize how much my body changed and I was excepting to much from myself at this point. But I don't want to do this anymore.
Something new: Now I want to try again and take it really, really slowly. I don't want to be fixed on high expectations of my body's performance, but just give it a lot of love, care. and respect to its current limitations. Even if I'm mentally better now, for a long time I used to be in a very dark place and I just feel like I'm learning from the start how to keep and follow even the simplest daily routines (eating regularly or washing the dishes). I want to be patient with myself and forgiving for my failures. Putting pressure on myself never got me really far. I am ready to share not only my fitness progress, but all my struggles, even with the simplest programs. I used to be ashamed of struggling with "easy" stuff. Not anymore. I don't want to try to prove to myself anything, as I used to. I am ready to accept myself as I am and heal. And that is something new.
It wasn't easy to share and be so honest, but it's a big step for me. I looked through some of your stories and it is very inspiring and touching to see how much support there is in this community.
I don't really now where to really start yet, I'm still doing my research on this page and I wan't to do something very, very simple, just to learn to follow any routine and be able to do it even when I feel very low. I was thinking of Vitality program. The simplest one, recovery one... and I'm still afraid of failure (old habits).. But it's okay. Let it be.
Last edited:
from
welcome to the hive !
Pronouns: They/She
.
Vitality 1
