Author of a Thousand Fails

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 270
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
Healing vibes for your foot, that sucks :vibes:

We have Mormon missionaries over here in Europe, too. At least I've seen them in bigger towns sometimes. Always young men with black slacks, white dress shirts, backpacks and a nametag, always in pairs. They're very polite and friendly, but for a long time I always thought they were super shady, con-artists probably, until someone told me what was up with them. I have no idea what they're doing in Europe, but I've never seen them talk to anyone of their own accord. :confused:
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
Healing vibes for your foot, that sucks :vibes:

We have Mormon missionaries over here in Europe, too. At least I've seen them in bigger towns sometimes. Always young men with black slacks, white dress shirts, backpacks and a nametag, always in pairs. They're very polite and friendly, but for a long time I always thought they were super shady, con-artists probably, until someone told me what was up with them. I have no idea what they're doing in Europe, but I've never seen them talk to anyone of their own accord. :confused:
:hehehe::hehehe::hehehe: Well, you certainly wouldn't be the first to believe that! One person thought they were a gay couple serving some sort of "Scarlet Letter" type sentence. The most common belief, though, is "cult". They've also been accused of being door to door salesmen, devil worshippers, and government agents... Really, most of them are sci-fi and cult classic nerds with hidden athletic or artistic talents...
1664747367612.png
 

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 270
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
Interesting. I imagined them to be very... tame? Conservative? Traditional?
But really, do you have an idea what exactly they're doing in Europe? My partner once told me that Mitt Romney was in Europe once as a missionary for the Mormons and started hating Europe so much because he wasn't treated very well. He has no idea if there's truth to this story, though, but I found it interesting, especially because he said he had heard that many young Mormons returning from Europe had made similar experiences. Makes me wonder even more what they're doing over here.
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
Interesting. I imagined them to be very... tame? Conservative? Traditional?
But really, do you have an idea what exactly they're doing in Europe? My partner once told me that Mitt Romney was in Europe once as a missionary for the Mormons and started hating Europe so much because he wasn't treated very well. He has no idea if there's truth to this story, though, but I found it interesting, especially because he said he had heard that many young Mormons returning from Europe had made similar experiences. Makes me wonder even more what they're doing over here.
Mormons serve missions in any country where religious freedom permits them to be. They're in Europe because they were called to serve there when they applied for their missions. Serving a mission anywhere is hard, though, as they face frequent (and often rude) rejections on a daily basis (imagine telemarketing)... You will find that there are a LOT of LDS Christians all over Europe. For an idea of just how many, you can GoogleMaps LDS temples... The Church only builds temples in areas where there are enough members in a given area.
I don't know much about Mitt Romney, but I believe he served in France where there was a very strong Catholic community, and if it's anything like the strong Catholic community that I grew up in, they probably saw him as a heathen. No clue whether or not he hated his mission.
As for the universal question of why missionaries are still serving missions in a place that may yield a greater outcome of regret than satisfaction... That has more to do with those few who ARE reached and served and come to know that somewhere out there, someone loves them... It's the hope for making a difference in even ONE person's life that drives a missionary.
 

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 270
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
Thank you for taking the time to explain a few things. I still have a few questions regarding all that missionary thing, but I don't want to derail your thread. Sometimes, I get interested in the weirdest things, at least for me, as I have no idea about religions.
Again, thank you very much :)
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
@lofivelcro You're welcome to message me anytime. Thank you for your consideration for my thread... I wish I had thought of that... HAHAHA!

Breakfast: clementine and peanut butter sandwich
Dinner: Tuna and mixed veggies
snack: some leftover cabbage stew

FITNESS:
I walked this morning all over my orchard, if that counts. I spent the afternoon with my foot up, though. The bruise is small, which I am so grateful for... Just don't want to cause any more damage if it's blood pressure causing the bruising.

Weight, unknown
0 consecutive days working out
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
BREAKFAST: Clementine and peanut butter sandwich
DINNER: Pizza and lemon cookies... My children treated the family with money they earned themselves. :D I'm so proud of them, and now my insides are filled with regret... HAHAHA!

FITNESS:
I took a brief walk. My arches seem just fine, but there's a mild throbbing pain coming from that TINY bruise on my foot and down along the side of it... I also did some work on my core flexibility.

Weight: Unknown. Doctor appointment tomorrow, so I'll find out then
0 consecutive workout days (I don't count stretching and walks as a workout)
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
MEDICAL UPDATE: BP 120/60 (even with a panic attack from having my arm squeezed too tightly)... I couldn't breathe and nearly passed out... Weight: 302lbs. Bloodwork sent to the labs. As for the issue of my bruising... *drumroll* It's weight related!!! Who'da thunk? Anticlimactic ending aside... At least I'm up to date on my tetanus vaccine... So, yay!
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
I had a busy day... I only ate one meal, and when I was finally able to sit down and relax, it was too late for dinner... so for brlusndi (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner), I scarfed down two chicken patty sandwiches between errands and an emergency doctor's visit for one of my other kids...

I didn't exactly work out, but I was on my feet almost the entire day... So, I'm counting that. To my great relief, no further damage was caused in spite of my best efforts. One thing is certain, however... I am sooooo sore!!!

It may be after 1am here, but at least my assignments are finally all up to date for a time... I literally had NO TIME to catch up today without sacrificing sleep.
Tomorrow's a rest day! :welcome:
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
Breakfast: blueberries and carrots
Dinner: a really questionable enchilada soup that smelled way better than it tasted
*snackstuffs: romaine heart, cheese quesadilla, your immortal soul...

FITNESS:
Today was a rest day. My feet feel a LOT better. I am ready to take on the stress of tomorrow, which will include being chased down by two German shepherds... on the bright side, this will also be accompanied by kitten therapy.

weight: 302lbs
0 days consecutive workouts
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
I totally skipped out yesterday... SUPER busy day. My Father-In-Law stopped by to use my laptop, and we ended up loaning him our car as well... didn't get home til midnight, and after several days in a row of losing sleep over a freakin' homework assignment that is now overdue (I cried a lot about it yesterday), I have a bit of a headache... (anybody who know anything about contract laws or the legal aspect of ethics who's willing to help me big-brain my way through my assignment, feel free to shoot me a message... I'm desperate at this rate, and NO THIS IS NOT ASKING FOR LEGAL ADVICE!!!! (I got pissed on by a lot of people to the point of tears across Discord servers for law enthusiasts who, in the rules, stated "educational" as part of their purpose in the server.) Well, vent over... onward!

FOR YESTERDAY:
Breakfast: peanut butter sandwich, applesauce
Dinner: Tacos (fed the missionaries and my Father-In-Law yesterday). My youngest nearly killed one of them... Not really, more like, he was laughing so hard that we thought he was going to pass out... She just kept leaning over to him at random times in the meal and whispered "cheese" or some other words at random over and over again, and he lost it! One of my other daughters pulled out one of our snakes to show off (yeah, I warned them that she might do something regarding snakes, lizards, or bugs the day before). The moment she came through the door with a snake the other elder was "NOPE" and ran towards the door faster than most athletes... HAHAHA! It was a good meal, though. Everyone laughed, nobody fought... #3 had so much fun that she had to leave the room because she was having an anxiety attack (she gets them when she gets excited, good or bad). So, that was a real treat, and she handled it like a pro! Ah... speaking of... I got to see my oldest son join my husband in a hugging circle with her when the first anxiety attack happened! He's too stoic to do that sort of thing in front of anybody, but there he was... hugging her with their dad, right there in front of everybody... which made me so happy that I cried... It was just one of those moments that you take a picture in your heart and remember forever...

FITNESS:
No workouts, but I was on my feet all afternoon for six hour starting at 3pm, and then I drove another 3hrs. So, I feel like my body got plenty of working out.

Weight: Unknown
No consecutive days of doing actual workouts
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
I FINISHED MY ASSIGNMENT! One down, 15 to go, and all due tomorrow! YAY! :cry::cry::cry:

Breakfast: Taco salad... I put the leftovers on a plate of chips and lettuce
Dinner: Nothing... absolutely nothing.

Fitness:
30 minutes chasing two German shepherds and a very shy cat

Weight: Unknown
No consecutive days of workouts

BRUISING UPDATE: Aside from one relatively new bruise on my ankle, all bruises have diminished. I still do not know what to do about workouts on my feet.
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
Why don't you just take the load off your feet for a bit, and if you want to do a workout, how about from this collection?
Oh, you know that I will never stay seated for too long. ;) However, you're right... I will take advantage of the seated workouts. Thanks!

I won't be able to write up today's events later tonight... So, I've decided to report now.

Breakfast: an egg bite, compliments of a friend who made a batch for my family, and two pieces of toast... because I didn't want to take ibuprofen and allergy meds on an empty stomach.
Dinner: two pizzas, a juice pack, and a slice of birthday cake... #5's birthday was on the 2nd, but we celebrated today.

Fitness:

Morning: 45 minutes chasing 2 German shepherds
Mid-day: does a full afternoon at a kid's birthday party at the park count?
Evening: another 45 minutes chasing 2 German shepherds, plus 15 minutes of an extreme game of fetch

Current weight: unknown
0 consecutive days of Darebee workouts
 
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OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
Busy weekend, busy start of the week, failing school... depressed

Breakfast: smoked pork and cheddar sausage
Dinner: crackers and cheddar log spread, clementine (I feel like I ate backwards today)
snackstuffs: I had a chocolate protein shake and a probiotic juice shot made with kiwi and spirulina... it was super blue, and with the exception of that obvious spirulina aftertaste, it was pretty good

Fitness:
Morning: 45 minutes with the dogs
Evening: another 45 minutes with dogs

Weight: unknown
0 consecutive days of darebee workouts

I had to call my husband in to help me tend my neighbor's animals today... Body pains returned, and I could barely stand. Although, there was 15 minutes of kitten therapy involved... So, it's not like I had to twist him arm or anything... HAHAHA! Since the dogs knew me and not him, I simply asked him to tend the cats while I tended the dogs... which is the more strenuous bit... All I said to my neighbor was that I was "feeling under the weather and asked my husband to assist me". I'll explain the situation when she comes home, but I don't want to rush her vacation. My feet are dying, though. No bruising, but there's so much painful throbbing and that distinct feeling that something alive is crawling in them with every pulse. I'm unable to bend and look at my feet properly right now because I'm having a full inflammatory response. So, I asked my husband to look at them. He said that my blood vessels looked darker, expanded, and I may be getting spider veins.... at least there's no bruising, right?
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
I'm too tired to update today... I have decided to withdraw from classes. Emotionally drained but at peace with my decision.

Breakfast: Pork loin
Dinner: beef stew

Snack: cheese stick and bell peppers

Fitness:

Dogs this morning again... nothing this evening. My body and mind are just done... I will rest tomorrow

weight: unknown
0 consecutive days Darebee workouts

I may be tired, but I did some important things recently. I was there for three friends, fed the missionaries twice, comforted my children during a hard moment in each of their lives, got the family in for their annual well-visits, threw an amazing birthday party, and made a hard decision that actually allowed my husband to not give up on his own dream (which I only knew about in hind sight). My husband was going to suffer in silence until it became too much to bear again... smh...
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
I will probably be too out of it to update tonight. So, I'm doing it now. Still sick, tired, and depressed.
Breakfast: a friend of mine brought me a peppermint nutrient shake that I'm slowly ingesting. Hard to eat when you want to vomit with every sip.
I don't anticipate eating dinner tonight... maybe some tea if my stomach can handle it.

Weight unknown
No workouts
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
I don't know if I'll be able to update later tonight or if I'll be too tired again. The big wave has passed, but I'm still hit by smaller waves, and I still have to force myself to eat. Forcing myself to do these log-ins is keeping me somewhat grounded, though. So, even though I'm taking a break from physical fitness attempts for a little while, I won't be taking a break from log-ins for mental health reasons.... I really just can't seem to stay awake right now, though... Since water makes me sick, I've had some warm tea in small increments and tried to down a water-soluble vitamin/electrolyte mix. Thinking about eating makes me want to vomit. So, I have to trick myself into drinking my nutrients. This isn't the first time I've felt this kind of grief. So, I am prepared to handle it to some extent. Even if I have taken an analytical approach to what is happening emotionally and physically, however, doesn't mean I'm totally exempt from feeling it all. It just means I can cope a little better as the feelings come.

I feel that it is probably important to some people who follow my log-ins to know that I do not have depression. I am very sad and am grieving, but it is not a mood disorder. Don't know why that matters, but it might to some.
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
A little better today than yesterday. I actually managed to eat something without puking it back up, at least. My husband cut up some carrots and celery into bite-sized pieces for me, and it worked to some extent... I am not allowed to think of food while I'm eating, because the thought of eating makes me sick. So, I pulled up a movie and attempted mindless eating with my little cup of crudites. It worked about halfway through... then I realized that it was working, which made me think of food, and it stopped working. I did wake up less tired this morning, though. I am trying to get out of my stump. So, I've begun working on a self-improvement plan to fill the space that homework was filling... There's nothing worse than idleness in moments like these... When you're past that point where you aren't able to just sleep and cry anymore, and you're only left with yourself and your thoughts in between... It took a couple of days, but I'm finally facing my "what now?" I've gone back to my goal setting board of physical growth, spiritual growth, mental growth, and social growth. My church encourages its members to set goals for self-improvement in these areas. (Following the example of Christ's development shown in Luke 2:52, for anyone who cares to look it up) Well, it's something to focus on... I'm still very tired, but I hope to check in with some results from the day later on.

GOALS TODAY:

Drink some tea :v:
Take a much-needed shower :v:
Wear a bra:v:
Put away my clean laundry that's been sitting in baskets on my floor all week and magically still there, untouched by child hands.:v:
Make some rice gruel and see if that works for my appetite any:v:
Not have an anxiety attack over my questionable-smelling house when company comes this evening. :x:

UPDATE:
Upset stomach, but I am eating despite this. Had a nervous breakdown in front of my guests... a small one... MY clothes are put away, but my kids' clothes.... screw it. They're old enough to put their own stuff away!

Tomorrow, I will be helping a friend with her moving, visiting with another friend who seems to need a friend, and attending a wedding... Just thinking about it is making me sick... I have photophobia, nausea, tension headaches so bad that my speech slurs and my vision blurs, and am super tired right now.... but I stopped crying and I'm only feeling urpy burpy... no vomiting.

Mid-day meal: small cup of cut crudites
Evening meal: rice gruel and lime soda water
 
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OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
I had a super busy day (yesterday). Just getting home from a wedding reception...

Breakfast: lemon cookies on the go (though it was had in the afternoon)
Dinner: Small plate of hor d'oeuvres, couple of pieces of mint Utah truffles (soooo good), and my sister and her husband bought me a virgin Shirley Temple.

As you can see, my appetite came back recently. Today, I spent all morning and part of the afternoon helping a friend prep for a move, followed by a brief shopping trip for a decent dress to wear at the wedding. Then, I visited a friend who's having a bit of a rough patch, and finally, the wedding reception, where I danced until my feet swelled... no regrets! I really needed the happy feelz.

Aside from the dancing, no actual physical exertion happened, and I'll likely not have any more for another day or two.

So, I was tired all day, but didn't sleep excessively, and even managed to have a busy day. I was able to eat a few things and had only a tiny "yucky" feeling in my stomach, only had two nervous breakdowns and one moment where I thought I might cry from sadness, and spent the rest of the day SUPER happy.
 

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 270
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
I just wanted to give a small but hopefully helpful tip for nausea and not being able to eat food, but I'm glad to read you're doing better. Very glad, even.

If you still want to read my small tip you've probably already heard and tried and maybe it doesn't work in your case but, eh: Ginger can help with a lot of stomach or digestion related issues. Either eating it raw, or ground up, or drinking tea made from it. It works wonders with nausea. I don't know if it would work in your case, but I thought I'd mention it nonetheless.

I'm happy that you could spend some time being super happy, if I read that correctly.
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
@lofivelcro I grate ginger into my tea very often and am fond of the occasional ginger beer, which is my new favorite "root beer" :ss: I also drink lime Perrier, which seems to help as well. Thank you for your consideration.

Breakfast: creamy veggie noodle soup (though, I had it in the afternoon, and not much of it)
Dinner: Chicken in rice gruel, lime Perrier
*snackstuffs: some more lemon cookies, clementine
My meal portion today was a little under 1-cup measure... that's the most I've eaten since my depressive episode began!

Fitness: I took a walk post-meal to help me digest this evening. It wasn't a long walk... Just about 10 minutes. My feet are still recovering from dancing last night.

I only felt anxiety once... Since I had an empty stomach at the time, I didn't feel sick about it this time 'round. My stomach feels less icky today than it did yesterday when I consciously eat, though I can still only eat bland food... but I can THINK of food without feeling sick now, which is a blessing... I am still photophobic and get major headaches when I think about school or start to feel overwhelmed about my "what now?" For the most part, though, I'm figuring it out... Still tired all the time, but not needing to sleep all the time. You could say that the storm has broken, but I'm trying to get to shore through a shallow reef.

I know that most of my illness is physiological, but that's also why I feel so thrown off by this... I feel that the physical symptoms of my grief outweigh the psychological ones. It's true that I still have moments of sadness and anxiety, but it's nowhere near as intense as my upset stomach, photophobia, extreme tiredness, and headaches... Truthfully, I think they're migraines... My vision and speech are altered by them.
 

OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 203
Breakfast: carrots, celery, two Babybel cheeses (in the afternoon)
Dinner: Beef sandwiches, more carrots and celery
*snackstuffs: cherry juice, 2 chocolates, a small handful of tortilla chips dipped in sour cream

Fitness:
No official workouts. Evening walk to digest after dinner

Something about today just feels different. I had a super restful morning and simply *ding* woke up like hot toast from a toaster! I finished mapping my course from here, and when I did, it all felt right. Aside from the stress of allowing my oldest to run an errand on her own for the first time (driving), I had no upset stomach. It looks like I'm finally capable of moving forward again. I'll spend the rest of this week walking to get my body accustomed to moving a lot again. Then, I'll return to Vitality the following week.
 
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