Calico's Training Log

Calico

Well-known member
Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
[This post is regularly edited to reflect where I am in my journey]

Old thread : https://hive.darebee.com/logs/251431-hira-s-training-log

And yes I changed username, I was Hiraelle on the old Hive. Also I chose to not keep my badges and start my collection again, so the lack of "programs already done" checked off in my profile is intentional :)


Background :
I am dealing with debilitating depression since 2008 - 2010, unmedicated, since I tried several therapists in my area and couldn't find a good fit. Also the medication I was on at some point didn't really help, so. Right now I don't trust them so I won't look at online therapy or anything, I will just try to get by on my own.
I am also fat, and queer, and recovering from a decade or more of a conflicting relationship with food (that made me fat because I tried so hard to avoid being fat btw), so all this melting pot creates body dysmorphia for me.
So where does that leave us? Well, I'm going to try to regain some peace of mind over my body by exercising, and not overdoing it because it's very counterproductive (for everyone probably, but here I'm talking about me anyway, so,), and I want to move easier and get stronger. Again. Because sometimes it's too hard so I give up for six months and I lose all that I gained but well, fitness isn't a destination is it?

It is very important, and I can't stress this enough, to not set a goal weight for me. I do not weigh myself. Last time I did, I didn't go back to the gym for four months and it was very hard to go again. I'm fat, I'll very probably stay fat, but well it's my body, I'm not a thin person trapped in a fat body, so *I* am going to exercise with *my* body.
Maybe other fat people function differently, but I only speak for myself here. I'm gonna exercise and I'm gonna eat without counting calories because, see above, conflicting relationship with food. We all have to deal with how we ourselves work, and for me? Well, when I get my head out of the water I want to get better.

I don't know what makes me get better, but I sure know what makes me worse. So no weight goal, no restrictive diet, and no looking at what others do exercise-wise when it's so much more than I do.



2022 :
I will try to update at least once a week. Every day if I manage to, but, well.
I'm going to go to the gym, and do Darebee programs, and also I discovered cardio youtube videos and I'll do them too.
Not all at once.
For now I don't think I can set more goals than that.
 
Last edited:

Damer

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DAREBEE Team
Warrior Monk from Terra
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Posts: 89
@Calico welcome to The Hive and everyone struggles in their journey in their own unique way. Because you're dealing with depression on your own which is really hard to do, this may help a little. Exercise as self-medication goes a long way some times. We are all social animals and one downside of that is the comparison you mentioned where we are hardwired to try and see where we are in the social pecking order. In a social media setting such as this one (or the much broader one in the wider web) this can become debilitating. You're amazingly self-aware so bear in mind that in The Hive at least we are all on a journey and this places us all along different stages. You can't compare these stages as the journey is different for each person. What is the same is that we recognize we are all fellow travelers and, automatically, support each other and that The Hive is our safe harbor. We are here to experience, learn and support. :)
 

Calico

Well-known member
Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Thank you @Fremen and @Damer (I know about the potentials of exercise but well, maintaining a routine is.... hard x) but I do keep trying).

For today :

Age of Pandora - chapter 39A
Current location : City Ruins
Six sets of stoneworms killing done.

Starting again slowly :scroll:
 

Sif_Shepard

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Fighter from the Normandy SR-2
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 427
"ad astra per aspera"
Welcome to the new hive!

Your relationship with food was very much my own before ed recovery. Not weighing yourself and not doing restrictive dieting is very good, and I hope you find peace and healing. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me publicly or privately, and I'm always happy to share the resources I used to get better.
 

Hbomb

Well-known member
Ninja from AZ, USA
Posts: 53
"Trying to get back in shape after baby #4."
Hi @Calico
I have lots of respect for you for being brave and sharing your journey. Everyone struggles whether they want to admit it or not. Life is rarely easy. I think sometimes, what matters is just putting one foot in front of the other. Breathe in, breathe out, anything else is a bonus. Hugs, and good luck to you.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
@Hbomb thanks :)

Today :
Hmm I have almost not slept because my usual sleep position is hurting my elbow nerve so I have to change >_> but it's the only one that works :sad:

Age of Pandora chapter 40 (1) :
I'm just doing one of the jobs of Age of Pandora chapter 40 : 600 squats at bunker 22 (so go there in lvl 2 high knees, do the job, and back again to the city ruins). That makes 380 high knees and 600 squats today.

Current location : City Ruins
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Today :

Age of Pandora chapter 40 (2) :
Another job - the climber taps thing. I'm still 1700 scraps short for the 10 000 I need so I think I'll do it again tomorrow >_>

Current location : City Ruins

I shooouuld go back to the gym too, but it's too hard right now.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Oooh ALSO it was my birthday on Sunday, and I thought I'd share here the cake one of my friends made:

(it's forêt noire and I have no idea if it has a different english name? it's chocolate cake with cherries.) (no fresh cherries in October tho. I think they were frozen ones?)

0632751addcc8fb3.jpegac261f8598f60e79.jpeg62ae7ce32adb7c5c.jpeg
 

HellYeah

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Pirate from Kurpfalz
Posts: 177
"ramping up again"
Happy Birthday Smile GIF by Travis Foster
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Thank you all :)

Today :
Hmm I have a problem. I did all the jobs available in Age of Pandora chapter 40, I can't re-do them, and I don't have enough scraps to proceed to chapter 41 :/

edit : AH nevermind I can click on the Agora and there are jobs lol. I never noticed you could click on the locations on the map. So it's fine, I'll finish collecting scraps tomorrow.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Today :

Age of Pandora - still chapter 40

Going to the nearest Agora : 7 travel points (70 high knees)
Going to the Hunter's forest : 16 travel points (160 high knees)
While there : 1000 speed-bag punches
Going back to the Agora for pay : 16 travel points (160 high knees). Pay collected! 9100 scraps.
Going to Camp Raza : 28 travel points (280 high knees)
While there : 250 side to side hops
Going back to the Agora : 28 travel points (280 high knees). Pay collected! 9300 scraps.

I'll finish next time after all.

Current location : Agora Equos
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 228
"Striving to be the change."
Oooh ALSO it was my birthday on Sunday, and I thought I'd share here the cake one of my friends made:

(it's forêt noire and I have no idea if it has a different english name?

Happy belated Birthday, Calico!

We call that cake by the same name in English: Black Forest Cake.
(And yes, done well, it is delicious! Yours looks very yummy!)
 

mavie

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from germany
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 216
Happy belated birthday! :bcake:
The german name for the cake is: Schwarzwälderkirschkuchen
It's basically the same as the english name but with cherries included and a nice example for the possibility in the german language to combine as many words as you like to form a new one.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Thanks!

Interesting for the names, thank you :)

This afternoon :

Age of Pandora - chapter 40 :

Go to fishermen village : 100 high knees
While there : do the job - 200 straight leg bounds
Go back to the agora equos : 100 high knees - 9450 scraps
Go to last garden : 50 high knees
While there : do the job - 500 butt kicks
Go back to the agora equos : 50 high knees
Go to unnamed forest : 150 high knees
While there : do the job - 300 double side kicks
Go back to the agora equos : 150 high knees - 10300 scraps
Go back to city ruins : 35 high knees
And FINALLY pay the dude :giveup:
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Today :

Age of Pandora - Chapter 41
Lots of travel there. 86 travel points. DId high knees level 1 so 430 high knees.
Workout : level 2
Current location : Agora Canis

Didn't take long, but well it was hard to work out today, at least I did a chapter.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
I wasn't here because I felt sick for a few days. (not covid symptoms at all thankfully so it's not that at least)
It seems better today? We'll see.

I went to the gym and I wrote down what I did (according to what's written on the machines for the names of the. Moves.)
lat pulldown - 32kg - 5 sets of 10 reps
seated rows - 27kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
chest press - 23kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
triceps press - 36kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
biceps curls - 14kg - 4 sets of 10 reps

I decided at the last minute to use the weight machines things and not do cardio so I have no idea how many stuff you're supposed to do for a workout or whatever, so I just did until I thought "I want to go home now". I like it better than cardio for now so I'll do something like it again next time, probably. Because with that at least I can tell myself "I'll do 4 sets of 10 reps of that and we'll see after" and not, "I have to do 20 or 30 minutes of cycling all at once" which seems to me like an eternity of time and not just 20 or 30 minutes :crawl:So it suits me better right now to do exercises that way.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Thank you @Sif_Shepard

Today :

Age of Pandora - chapter 43

I'm helping the boy. He's right there and it's him I was searching for so... Too bad for the girl.
Sore from yesterday's workout (I thought I didn't do enough but according to my muscles it was sufficient) so I did level 1 only.

Current location : bridge.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
@GentleOx Yeah. I have time, but it just. Bores me. And podcasts or episodes don't even really help....
I'm not going to force it anymore, I'll do cardio at the gym again if I want to but if I don't, I won't.


Today :

Age of Pandora - chapter 44

500 squats, and then 250 high knees to go back to the Agora.

Current location : Agora 'Canis'
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Today :

Age of Pandora - chapter 44 and 45
For chapter 44 I did the workout at level 2. For chapter 45 I did the water delivery job (500 arm circles).
Current location : last garden

15 chapters left!
I don't know yet what I'll do after it. I still have time to think about it.
 

Calico

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Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Today :

I went back to the gym.
I did this (again according to what the exercise's called on the machine):
seated rows - 27kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
chest press - 18kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
triceps pressdown - 18kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
biceps curls - 14kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
shoulder press - 9kg - 4 sets of 10 reps
 

Calico

Well-known member
Witcher Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 59
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
I had a fever for the last few days, so, no exercise :scroll:

I feel better now, not all the way healed but better.

Today :

Age of Pandora - chapter 47 - 48 (I think I made an error with the chapter numbers before. hm)

Go to the hunter's bunker : 80 high knees
Workouts at level 1

Go to Agora 'Canis' : 130 high knees

Current location : Agora 'Canis'
 
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