Duat's Wolf - Chapter 3: Anpu's Inferno

[Anpuankhses]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 328

Good evening, everyone! You’ve probably noticed the sudden increase in my streak count. I’ve been thinking about it, and the days I take off are also part of my exercise routine. And if I work out three to four days a week, by the time I’ve been training for three years, my streak will barely be a year and a half—and that doesn’t reflect reality either. So from now on, I’ll count the streak as the number of days that have passed since I started, rather than literally the number of days I’ve worked out. I’ll only break it if I go enough days without training to lose all my lives. Anyway, here I am after another week! This time I’ve ramped up the intensity of my workouts. On Monday I had to do bench presses, and my trainer was available to stand by my side while I did them. Since I was still in the process of finding the ideal weight, I did a set of 8 reps (which are supposed to be high-intensity, meaning with a heavy weight) at 40 kilos. My trainer saw that I did them with enough ease that I could have increased the reps to 12, and he told me to go up to 50 kilos. He thought it was my last set and put a ridiculously heavy weight on me—one that was almost impossible for me—but I did all 8 reps! You can’t even imagine his amazement when he saw me do another set with the same weight all by myself! I quote him verbatim: “You did a set of 8 and barely finished it, and now you're doing another one with almost no trouble? So, as you can see, we still don't know where your limit is!” I won't lie to you—it's been a real confidence booster. So now I'm trying to maintain the same intensity in the rest of my workouts. And in some of them, I've increased the weight significantly. I guess I still have a hard time telling the difference between fatigue and actual failure, but I'm getting better at drawing that line so I can learn to push past it. I hope you're all doing well, too. I've been a bit out of it lately with my new routine and lack of sleep—due to my still-unexplained light sleep—and I haven't been able to give you the attention you deserve. And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 330

Good evening, everyone! Conversation with my partner after coming back from the gym: Her: So, did you end up eating the lentils in the fridge? Me: No, I saw they were too dry, so I decided to eat the pineapple that was underneath them instead. Her: Oh, well, I just had a great idea! What if you add the pineapple to the lentils? Me:... Her: Are you processing? Me: I was reflecting on my entire existence. Her: (Laughs) Me: I mean, all the decisions in my life, everything I’ve done up to now, has led me to this very moment where I’ve had to listen to such a... Well... Her: No, but think about it! It wasn’t even my idea, it was yours! When you saw the lentils and preferred the pineapple, your own brain told you the ingredient they were missing! Me: If you think it’s such a good idea, you try them and then let me know! Her: I’m not eating that disgusting stuff! Me:... Her: I mean, I don’t like the texture of pineapple, but I’ve tried the juice and it tastes good. I’m sure it brings out the flavors. Trust me, they don’t call me “the mixer” for nothing. Me: Nobody calls you “the mixer,” period! Both: (Laughter) And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 336

Good evening, everyone! On Tuesday, I ran a few errands in the morning, and out of nowhere, I got really sick when I got back to my temple. So I spent Wednesday recovering. I took care of myself by making all kinds of soups, potions, and concoctions with the ingredients Moofasa brought me. On Thursday, I didn’t feel fully recovered, but I didn’t want to break my new routine. Even today, I don’t think I’m 100% yet, but I’ve managed to do my four weekly gym sessions without missing a single one! My trainer has once again highlighted my improvements and my good form. I’ve even heard him mention me as a good example when talking to other people. Now, instead of walking all the way around town to get my cardio in, I’ve decided to cut straight across the desert moors until I’m exhausted, and only then head to the nearest town and hop on the first stagecoach heading back to mine. I’ve got to take advantage of the fact that I can use the public stagecoaches for free! I’ve also convinced my best friend to come over from his dimension and join me on my cardio walks after my workouts. And yesterday, we got together with a bunch of other people and spent the night playing games and philosophizing until the wee hours of the morning. And now I’ll leave you, because once again bureaucracy has knocked on the doors of my temple and I have papyruswork to do. *sigh* And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 342

Good evening, everyone! This week has been pretty uneventful and routine. I don't have much new to report. But I do have some stories! For starters, I almost go back to the Duat using the Multipower. Apparently, on Tuesday, the weight bar was a bit dry in the bearings that let you rotate it to attach the hooks to the machine. It was easy to turn them to unlock the bar, buuuut it would jam when I tried to turn it back to release the bar. So you can imagine the drama when I hit failure and realized I couldn’t secure the weights to drop them. It was a moment of fighting for my life and my dignity. I mean, if I’m going to kick the bucket on a machine, let it be while lifting 500 kilos, not 40. How embarrassing! Another thing is that I’ve let go of my inhibitions and lost my sense of shame, and I don’t care anymore about making grunting noises while doing the exercises. That’s led some people to start cheering me on and admiring my workouts. Things like “Come on, Anpu, give it your all! Wooooo!” or people pointing at me and saying to others, “Did you see what he's lifting? He's strong!” and wow, that's really cheered me up, honestly. The last thing is that my trainer came up to me with a big smile and told me I’m starting to look like a weightlifter. I told him I don’t feel any different, and he replied, “But have you seen the bull neck you’re building? Look at your trapezius muscles! That wasn’t there two months ago!” In short, I’m getting super pumped up! And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[LiteraryMatcha]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 342

Good evening, everyone! This week has been pretty uneventful and routine. I don't have much new to report. But I do have some stories! For starters, I almost go back to the Duat using the Multipower. Apparently, on Tuesday, the weight bar was a bit dry in the bearings that let you rotate it to attach the hooks to the machine. It was easy to turn them to unlock the bar, buuuut it would jam when I tried to turn it back to release the bar. So you can imagine the drama when I hit failure and realized I couldn’t secure the weights to drop them. It was a moment of fighting for my life and my dignity. I mean, if I’m going to kick the bucket on a machine, let it be while lifting 500 kilos, not 40. How embarrassing! Another thing is that I’ve let go of my inhibitions and lost my sense of shame, and I don’t care anymore about making grunting noises while doing the exercises. That’s led some people to start cheering me on and admiring my workouts. Things like “Come on, Anpu, give it your all! Wooooo!” or people pointing at me and saying to others, “Did you see what he's lifting? He's strong!” and wow, that's really cheered me up, honestly. The last thing is that my trainer came up to me with a big smile and told me I’m starting to look like a weightlifter. I told him I don’t feel any different, and he replied, “But have you seen the bull neck you’re building? Look at your trapezius muscles! That wasn’t there two months ago!” In short, I’m getting super pumped up! And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

Keep up the good work

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Nice seeing results!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 347

Good evening, everyone! Happy Sant Jordi to everyone! Remember to give lots of roses and books to your loved ones and give your local dragons a big hug! I made an important discovery today. I think my wrist pain is from sleeping on my stomach with my hands outstretched like a T-Rex. I’ll keep you posted as I find out more! And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 350

Good evening, everyone! It’s a lovely spring day here at the temple. The birds are singing, insects are flitting from flower to flower, the sun is beating down but the breeze is cool, and the air smells of firewood and barbecue. A peaceful day, indeed. Maybe it’s a good idea to take advantage of the day to lose myself in the wilderness and settle into the lushest areas. A bottle filled to the brim with my best matcha, a good book, my honey candies filled with even more honey... Or would it be better to let my best friend know and go for one of our endless walks? Hmm, decisions, decisions... Decided, I’ll go with my friend. And I’ll bring my honey candies. He loves them, he’s a bear! He's the typical big, intimidating dude who’s actually super laid-back and easygoing, the kind of guy who makes friends left and right and always has plans everywhere because everyone counts on him. And he signs up for everything without exception, of course. With so many friends, it’s a real privilege to be part of his very small inner circle. Alright, so I’m going to spend the day out and about. That way, I’ll leave the whole temple to Moofasa too, so he can relax with his reading. Oh, and my workout went well. I’ve finished my fifth week with the new routine. Only three more to go before switching it up again. I hope I’ll be ready to start using chains on my lifts! And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Lives:

Potions: x12

Ingredients: 4 5 0 2

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 1

GYM DAY!
Universal Warmup
Classic Warmup

Anpuankhses got through Act 1

Duat Deadlift Zone Act 2

GYM DAY!
Program / Workout
Daily Exercise

Anpuankhses got through Act 2

Special Stage

GYM DAY!
Epic Abs Challenge
Recover & Rebuild

Anpuankhses got a Chaos Emerald

Extra Credit: No ingredients found today!
Current Streak: 357

Good evening, everyone! I've had a... weird week. I managed to get through my first two days of exercise without any problems, but on Thursday—my rest day—I suddenly felt sick again. The next day I seemed to be feeling better but not fully recovered, so I took another rest day. And yesterday I was completely exhausted! I slept all day and had zero energy. Yeah, I was worryingly fatigued. Anyway, I’ve tried my best to eat well and take care of myself, but this week I haven’t been able to complete my workout routine. So I guess I won’t count it toward the 8 weeks before I switch up my routine. But hey, I’ve already put my ushabtis to work doing the laundry, and I’m getting ready for tomorrow. Nothing can stop this big wolf! Awoohoo! And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 361

Good evening, everyone!

It doesn't make much sense to keep up with the gamification now that I'm working out elsewhere. I guess I'll put it on hold until I start doing Darebee's programs and challenges again.

There are five days left until I complete my first year of streak since I started exercising again. And to celebrate, I wanted to change the format a little bit. You’ve probably noticed that my thread has a new title and now bears the very respectable “Chapter 2.” I think it could be more rewarding if I move through “chapters” as I set new goals. That way, over time, I’ll be able to look back and see how much I’ve accomplished at a glance.

For now, I can divide my journey into three chapters:

Chapter 0: Rise from your grave! - Where I completed the Baseline and Foundation programs.
Chapter 1: The wolf through the Duat. - Where I was able to establish my exercise routine, culminating in a gym routine!
Chapter 2: The ascent along the Ván river. - Where I now have a solid foundation and am starting to step out of my comfort zone and specialize in powerlifting instead of doing more standardized exercises. Getting ready for my next goal: using chains in my lifts!

My journey through the Ván is turning out to be full of surprises. This place is vastly different from the desert climate I come from. Here, the air is thick and cold. The forest is dark, silent, and dense in every direction. And the constant fog is blinding, like a wall that always remains at the same distance, preventing me from seeing beyond it.

Moofasa seems somewhat alert; I can see his ears moving constantly, searching for any sound. Surprisingly, I’m in my element. On clear days when you can see the endless horizon, I feel tremendously exposed, but on dark nights or in thick fog where you can barely see a few steps ahead of you, I feel... embraced? Safe? I’m still out in the open, but for some reason the limited visibility gives me a rather comforting sense of nesting. And the cold humidity has turned out to be... quite refreshing. Plus, my flames now feel even cozier, if that’s possible.

According to some locals, even though we’re new to these parts, it seems we navigate the treacherous, rugged trails with a certain grace and ease that’s rarely seen in first-timers. I told them that they probably say that to everyone to encourage them on their journey, but they assured me that’s not the case and that we’re actually doing very well for being new to the area. That makes me proud; it means all the preparation is paying off.

I can't wait to see what lies ahead at the end of the trail. Many sections seem deliberately difficult to traverse. Whoever the deities were who shaped this path, they seemed intent on preventing anyone from reaching the river's source. And the more obvious it becomes, the more I want to find out why!

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 365! Awoohoo!!!

Good evening, everyone!

Today I’m celebrating my Bee-versary! It’s been exactly a year since I started working out again, and I’m still at it!

The truth is, I’m really happy that I’ve been able to understand my physical strengths and finally discover what kind of sport I want to practice. I always trained to be the typical athletic, slender, fast, agile, and dexterous guy. The classic archetypal temple guardian with that Shaolin monk vibe, flowing like the wind and striking like lightning. But let’s be honest, I’ve never been the type with stamina, my balance is nonexistent, flexibility is nowhere to be found, my reflexes are incredibly slow, and my speed is just cruising. In the end, it turns out I’m the dungeon boss-type temple guardian: an immovable tank with sky-high defense and slow, devastating, trampling attacks. And I’m actually starting to like it.

I had terrible muscle soreness over the weekend, and it came back yesterday after my workout. And just when it seemed like my energy couldn’t get any lower, my best friend showed up and we ended up cutting our trip short, taking Moofasa and me on a detour through the woods in the middle of the night. But in the end, it turned out to be good for me. The extra walk helped me warm up and loosen my muscles. We also had one of those endless chats that start with random nonsense and end up turning into a super deep and philosophical conversation out of nowhere. Although today I really need a day of rest. We’ve reached a pretty cozy clearing, and both the Minotaur and I are taking the opportunity to get back to our reading and disconnect a bit from the trip.

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[aku-chan]

Happy Bee-versary!

 

[Anek]

Congrats on one year!

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Happy bee-versary!

 

[Jaga]

Congratulations!

 

[LiteraryMatcha]

Current Streak: 365! Awoohoo!!!

Good evening, everyone!

Today I’m celebrating my Darebirthday! It’s been exactly a year since I started working out again, and I’m still at it!

The truth is, I’m really happy that I’ve been able to understand my physical strengths and finally discover what kind of sport I want to practice. I always trained to be the typical athletic, slender, fast, agile, and dexterous guy. The classic archetypal temple guardian with that Shaolin monk vibe, flowing like the wind and striking like lightning. But let’s be honest, I’ve never been the type with stamina, my balance is nonexistent, flexibility is nowhere to be found, my reflexes are incredibly slow, and my speed is just cruising. In the end, it turns out I’m the dungeon boss-type temple guardian: an immovable tank with sky-high defense and slow, devastating, trampling attacks. And I’m actually starting to like it.

I had terrible muscle soreness over the weekend, and it came back yesterday after my workout. And just when it seemed like my energy couldn’t get any lower, my best friend showed up and we ended up cutting our trip short, taking Moofasa and me on a detour through the woods in the middle of the night. But in the end, it turned out to be good for me. The extra walk helped me warm up and loosen my muscles. We also had one of those endless chats that start with random nonsense and end up turning into a super deep and philosophical conversation out of nowhere. Although today I really need a day of rest. We’ve reached a pretty cozy clearing, and both the Minotaur and I are taking the opportunity to get back to our reading and disconnect a bit from the trip.

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

Happy rsary!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Thank you very much @aku-chan, @Anek, @PetiteSheWolf, @Jaga and @LiteraryMatcha. I appreciate it a lot!

Current Streak: 367

Good evening, everyone!

Today was supposed to be a hiking day and tomorrow a rest day. But I’ve decided to switch them up because I didn’t wake up feeling great. I didn’t take into account the type of vegetation that might be around here, and it seems my histamine levels are a bit high, which has resulted in a nagging migraine. It’s not severe or debilitating, but it’s made me decide to spend the day taking care of myself, just in case.

On the other hand, the path through the Ván is getting interesting by the minute, as I’m starting to sense a deliberate effort to block our progress. I’m finding silver. Tons of powdered silver sprinkled on paths, bridges, walls, benches... The pads on my paws must look like pure silver by now. Someone has seen me and thought of the obvious remedy to try to scare me away. Whoever they are, I know they won’t be a problem for me if they haven’t recognized my outfit and automatically concluded that it wouldn’t work, because I already know that whatever they try will be in vain. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about Moofasa and how badly he might fare if our new friends decide to try more forceful measures.

Should I make him go back to the temple? Yes, I should. Whatever waiting at the source of the river seems important. I don’t want to involve him in anything dangerous just to satisfy my own curiosity. I’ll ask my best friend to come with me instead; he’ll definitely want to find out what’s at the end, despite the danger. Or maybe precisely because there’s danger. Moofasa will be happy to return to watch over the temple, and he’ll prefer to hear about the experience rather than relive it.

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 369

Good evening, everyone!

And here goes another week!

Yesterday the path got rough. My legs are pretty sore. Although the silver dust scattered around is gone, and I no longer sense any nearby presence. However, the Ván has been drying up ever since, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. Somehow I have a feeling that both phenomena are connected.

Today, much to my fortune and Moofasa’s unease, we found an ancient Norse cemetery. The place was completely abandoned and forgotten. It had lost all its ritual significance. But nothing that my faithful minotaur and I couldn’t fix. Between the two of us, we’ve rearranged all the menhirs, statues, and various elements back to their proper places, restoring the site to its former glory.

It was quite a deadlift session, if you’ll pardon the pun.

The thing is, thanks to that, I felt the necromantic energies flooding back into the cemetery. Energies I was able to use to open a portal to my temple through the Duat so Moofasa could return. Yeah, yeah, I can open portals to the Duat from places where death has a strong ceremonial presence, it’s no big deal.

Anyway, I’ve already said goodbye to the minotaur, and since my best friend Björnomi hasn’t arrived yet to replace him, I’ve allowed myself the freedom to let my wild side out a bit and run straight through the forest toward the source of the Ván River. I don’t intend to give my mysterious saboteurs either the time or the satisfaction to come up with any more tricks.

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 372

Good evening, everyone!

My impromptu detour saved me a bit of walking, but in the end I had to get back on the main path. I came across an artificially vertical mountain range that was nearly impassable except for a tiny opening. Obviously, there was an entire fortress built right there, acting as a gateway. I’m not going to lie to you, I had a moment of hesitation where I weighed the pros and cons of going in there versus just climbing the slope. Then I thought about the possible puzzles that might be waiting for me inside, and the question resolved itself.

Nothing remarkable about the place’s aesthetics. Clearly, the building’s purpose was to create an obstacle. The vibe was what brutalist style would be like if the Vikings had invented brutalism. Once inside, you can imagine the scene. Tests, dozens of tests, all of them puzzles with simple solutions but requiring commendable brute force to solve. All of this with its corresponding traps to speed things up, of course. I had to push. Push a lot. Push doors, push levers, push stone blocks, push down-sinking ceilings, push myself to climb walls... It was a good chest and triceps workout, to be honest.

When I left the place, I expected to find the source of the Ván River, but to my disappointment, I only found more path. I’m close, I can feel it, but not as close as I’d like. Well, time to keep walking.

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 373

Good evening, everyone!

There is no path anymore. Only wild, untamed land where the river flows from. A vast, frozen swamp that stretches across what remains of the mountain all the way to the very summit, completely hidden behind the fog. Moving slowly, trying not to get my paws stuck in any mud, I found myself trying to keep a flame burning in the palm of my hand to better endure the extreme weather.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake, forcing me to crouch down to keep my balance. A deafening roar echoed off the frozen peaks of the mountain range, and for several endless seconds I remained motionless, flattening my ears and closing my eyes tightly.

Once it was all over, I opened my eyes and slowly raised my ears, turning them in all directions like two little radars trying to detect the slightest hint of a possible aftershock. Not only did it never come, but I also stopped hearing the murmur of the river. When I stood up, I not only saw that the river was completely dry, but further ahead the thick white fog had turned into a fiery reddish glow that bathed the area.

I was utterly astonished when I saw the earth open up like a gigantic mouth right in front of me. A gigantic crack that split the marsh in two, cutting through the riverbed. An endless drop into the very bowels of the planet. And, on the other side, the river cascading down.

There was no way I could jump across that. However, to my amazement, small islands of frozen marshland were floating supernaturally above the precipice. All of them interconnected by hundreds of intertwined roots. I had no choice. If I wanted to get across, I had to pull, pull, and pull to draw the pieces of land together and form a bridge to cross.

I finally made it across, though not without great effort and energy on my part. The pain in my wrist has returned, but with less intensity than usual, which was something to celebrate and be grateful for.

Once on the other side, the tremor returned and the earth closed up behind me, restoring the river and the reservoir to their natural state. And, maybe it’s just my imagination, but this time the roar sounded… half-hearted. As if the mountain itself were frustrated.

Heh… Moofasa is going to be blown away when I tell him about this.

Anyway, I still have a ways to go to the summit. Let’s see where this leads.

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 376

Good evening, everyone!

Today, as I made my way up the mountain, I came to a wide gorge. It was as wide as the river itself, which flowed powerfully through it. If I wanted to get to the other side, I had no choice but to wade into the water. The area was freezing and windy, but the water was a surprisingly bearable temperature.

I didn’t know if I’d be able to swim against the current; I’ve never been much of a swimmer. However, the river has been steadily drying up over the past few days, so the water barely reached my hips. Still, it was rushing down with terrifying force. I had to dig my toes into the bottom and claw my way forward to keep from being swept away. More than once I despaired as I felt the ground giving way beneath my paws, but with patience I found the best footholds to keep pushing my way upstream.

As I made my way through, I still had time to catch a glimpse of some strange structures on the walls of the gorge. At first, they looked to me like excavations in the rock—strange columns that resembled the bones of gigantic fingers supporting the walls. Imagine my surprise when, halfway through, those enormous bones began to contract and close in on me.

I didn’t have time to use my necromantic magic against them, as I had to hold them back with my arms and fight not to be crushed against the riverbed until I drowned. I growled, roared, and screamed, feeling my legs and shoulders about to burst under the pressure. But finally, I managed to get past each one of them.

As soon as I reached the end of the gorge and touched the bank, I got out of the river. Too exhausted even to shake the water off, I collapsed onto the snow, panting heavily. Soon I felt my fur start to freeze. And personally, that really got on my nerves. I mean, I didn’t cross that gorge just to end up as an ice sculpture. So, with one last effort, I used what little energy I had left to warm my body enough to evaporate the water and snow around me. And then I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up a short while ago, covered in snow again, but nothing my fur can’t protect me from. And here I am now, making my way the short distance left to the source of the Ván. The mountain peak seems to twist and loom over me like a gigantic ice claw. One last warning to turn around and go back the way I came.

Luckily, my curiosity makes me stubborn. Maybe too much so, but hey, it’s okay to leave the temple and have some fun once every millennium, right?

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[LiteraryMatcha]

Current Streak: 372

Good evening, everyone!

My impromptu detour saved me a bit of walking, but in the end I had to get back on the main path. I came across an artificially vertical mountain range that was nearly impassable except for a tiny opening. Obviously, there was an entire fortress built right there, acting as a gateway. I’m not going to lie to you, I had a moment of hesitation where I weighed the pros and cons of going in there versus just climbing the slope. Then I thought about the possible puzzles that might be waiting for me inside, and the question resolved itself.

Nothing remarkable about the place’s aesthetics. Clearly, the building’s purpose was to create an obstacle. The vibe was what brutalist style would be like if the Vikings had invented brutalism. Once inside, you can imagine the scene. Tests, dozens of tests, all of them puzzles with simple solutions but requiring commendable brute force to solve. All of this with its corresponding traps to speed things up, of course. I had to push. Push a lot. Push doors, push levers, push stone blocks, push down-sinking ceilings, push myself to climb walls... It was a good chest and triceps workout, to be honest.

When I left the place, I expected to find the source of the Ván River, but to my disappointment, I only found more path. I’m close, I can feel it, but not as close as I’d like. Well, time to keep walking.

And that's it for today's report. See you tomorrow, hive!

I see that song, and I say, the cake is a lie.

 

[Anpuankhses]

I see that song, and I say, the cake is a lie.

An evil lie, almost as evil as birds!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 381

Good evening, everyone!

I was close, very close to the summit. The closer I got, the more it seemed as though the peak was curving downward like the head of a great beast surveying the world from afar. The waterfall that gives rise to the Ván plunged from the very edge of that peak, as if the entire mountain were a gigantic gargoyle. I could barely make out much else, for the fierce blizzard was blurring my vision.

I could almost taste my victory, finish my journey, and see what was up there that was so jealously guarded. Suddenly, a gigantic ball of fire appeared behind the mountain. As big and bright as a supernova. I could do nothing but cover my eyes and look away.

Something gave way, something gigantic. The metal cracked and crumbled around me, sounding like enormous bells that made the entire mountain rumble. I put on my pyromancer’s goggles, and once my eyes adjusted, I still had time to see it before it vanished. The Unmentionable One, the gigantic serpent that dwells in the Duat and that my people desperately try to keep locked away day after day.

He was coiled around something, something that was thrashing and struggling to break free from him. I could barely react as I watched both titanic entities vanish back into the gargantuan fiery portal. After that came silence. The river dried up, the snow vanished, and there was no trace of the blizzard, or the fog, or even the mountaintop. Now I found myself at the top of a plateau, surrounded by links. Dozens of links, each as big as a building, all of them broken and half-melted. I was lucky not to have ended up under any of them.

I walked to where the river’s last trace ended, right where the waterfall crashed against the ground, to find a horizon filled with valleys. Valleys that resembled the paw prints of four canine legs of impossibly large proportions.

It didn’t take me long to piece things together in my mind. Conclusions I would have to weigh more calmly back at my temple. And as much as I loathed even the thought of it, I could use the serpent’s residual magic to open my own portal back to the Duat.

And just as I was about to do so, I heard a loud growl behind me. When I turned, I found a Valkyrie, the scout of a larger group. With enormous raven wings and riding a proud battle wolf. She raised her silver sword at me and projected her voice toward me.

“Stop right there, servant of Loki!” she shouted. “Your attempts to hasten the battle at the end of the world are futile. Tell me where the beast is, and your destruction will be swift.”

“The one you seek is in the Duat,” I replied. “A hostage of the one I seek.”

The Valkyrie seemed to analyze my words carefully, lowering her sword slowly. “I have never heard of that place. I command you to guide me there.”

“I’m afraid that involves a lot of red tape, and neither of us has time for that,” I explained. “But don’t worry, I’ll bring back—”

“You’re lying!” she roared. “You’re trying to confuse me to buy time, but it won’t work. Now tell me what I want to know before my sisters get here. I assure you they’ll be less forgiving than I am.”

Given the situation, I tried to reason with her companion.

“Fellow wolf, believe me, it’s not in either of your best interests to go in there and face what awaits you. Get yourself and your companion to safety. You have my word, and that of my people, that the problem will be resolved.”

“It’s not up to me,” he replied, to his companion’s astonishment. “Nor is it up to her. For us, this matter is an absolute priority. So much so that we are morally obligated to give even our lives, if necessary, to prevent Ragnarök.”

He explained this while I snorted in frustration, pondering my options.

“Wait, can you understand what he’s saying?” asked the Valkyrie, genuinely surprised.

“Yeah. You can’t?” I replied, tilting my head.

“Of course not! To me, it’s just growls, barks, and howls. How was I supposed to guess it was actually a language?”

I looked at the wolf in disbelief, and he gave the equivalent of a shrug.

“I’m just her mount, buddy. And I don’t mean to rush you, but either you make your move now or you’ll have to face an entire battalion of Valkyries all by yourself.”

“Gah!” I growled, a flash of fire shooting between my fangs. I couldn’t fight other forces of good, nor could I allow a more knowledgeable Valkyrie to recognize me as a Kemetic entity. If they mistakenly concluded that we had something to do with this and the Norse went to war with us, there would be little or nothing we could do to stop the Unmentionable One.

Finally, I opened a portal and gestured for the Valkyrie to follow me through it.

“Fine, you win. But in there, things are very different from anything you’ve seen before. We’ll go to my temple and plan our next move there.”

The Valkyrie nodded, and the two of them followed me into the Duat, keeping their distance and with her sword raised toward me at all times, of course.

“So… what are your names?” I asked as the portal closed behind us. I still had time to hear horns blaring through the mountains.

“…Myrkvæng. And he’s Loppa.”

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 383

Duat's Wolf - Chapter 3: Anpu's Inferno​

Good evening, everyone!

Yesterday I took the day off once I got back to my temple. The Valkyrie was already super suspicious when we got there, but seeing Moofasa was the last straw for her. Both the Minotaur and I had to put in a lot of effort to convince her it wasn’t a trap. And you know what the best part is? Just when it seemed like the tension was easing up, Björnomi showed up.

“Dude, can you explain what you were doing at the Ván River?” he asked me. “Not only did you not wait for me, but when I finally thought I’d caught up to you, I ran into a gazillion furious Valkyries. I was a hair’s breadth away from ending up as a cape.”

Only after he finished his sentence did he see Myrkvæng and Loppa on the other side of the room. There had never been a more awkward silence within those walls. I promise you, I could hear the gears turning in the bear’s mind as he tried to make sense of the situation.

“Omi, meet Myrk and Loppa,” I said before summarizing my journey and explaining the situation to both him and the minotaur.

It didn’t go unnoticed that, for some reason, Björnomi’s presence didn’t seem to alarm the Valkyrie nearly as much as mine did, let alone Moofasa’s. I suppose that makes sense if she’s never seen an Anubian before, and if the little she knows about Minotaurs comes from some ancient Greek legend that does her people no justice at all. However, something about the bear must have played a role. I don’t know if it was his attire or the extensive display of Norse runology and symbolism running through his fur as if he were a Viking Maui, but something led her to conclude that he did not belong to the opposing faction of her Norse pantheon. She remained somewhat on guard, but now it was the ordinary wariness of being among strangers, not among enemies.

The thing is, that actually worked out in my favor, because I was finally able to order the ushabtis to prepare a chamber for her and the wolf while I showed them around the temple.

“You know,” I asked her along the way, “I couldn’t help but wonder what made you want to venture into the Duat with me. It seemed more sensible and logical to wait for the rest of the Valkyries and force me to bring you all here or something. What would have happened if I’d actually set a trap for you? Don’t you think it’s a reckless move to venture into possible enemy territory all by yourself?“

“No more lectures, please,” she said, head bowed. “I’m aware of the risk in my decision. But it was either that or go home once my reconnaissance was done and let the rest of them take all the glory and the fun. I’m sick of being a mere scout. How can I ever measure up to my sisters if they won’t let me spread my wings?“

“What are you, the main character in a young adult novel? Do you have any idea what we're up against?” I asked her, my tone perhaps a bit more reproachful than I intended.

“Excuse me? Might I ask what the hell you were doing hiking up the Ván, for starters? You don’t seem like the best person to criticize me for not weighing the dangers I face.“ she replied, offended, as was to be expected.

“In my defense, I’ll say I had no idea what I was going to find up there. I didn’t even expect The Unmentionable One to conveniently show up and cause the mess of the century to try to pit our pantheons against each other.“ I tried to defend myself, looking away.

“And yet you went through all kinds of clearly daunting trials for what? To prove you’re the strongest, fastest, and smartest fish in the pond?“

“Gods, no! That’s so Olympian. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I climbed the Ván out of pure curiosity.” I said, fully aware of how stupid it sounded out loud.

“That makes it even worse, for Asgard’s sake!“ she replied, quite rightly. “As a temple guardian, you know better than anyone that if someone, especially divine forces, wants to keep something away from the world, it’s for a damn good reason!“

“Look who’s lecturing now,” I said, starting to feel a little embarrassed. “But you’re absolutely right, it wasn’t my finest hour. And that’s why we’re going to fix everything.”

Loppa didn't say a word the whole way, but he nodded in agreement with everything his companion said. After dropping them off at their quarters, I went to get my well-deserved rest.

Today, much to the Valkyrie’s surprise and likely displeasure, I’ve returned to my routine. I know the situation is serious and that she must be feeling a strong sense of urgency, but it’s not exactly a plan to comb through the entire Duat hoping to find our target by pure chance. But I’ve done everything I could for now and shaken a couple of trees. Now it’s just a matter of waiting to see what falls.

When I returned to my gym, my trainer already had a new routine prepared for me that I’ll start on Monday. A routine focused on technique and conditioning. He explained that training for pure strength at full throttle in the middle of summer and in the desert is the perfect recipe for passing out. For now, I’ll train to prepare my body, and we’ll really push it in the winter. Honestly, I’m not going to complain. The heat today has been unbearable. I’m almost grateful to head into the darkness to chase after The Unmentionable One.

Almost...

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 385

Good evening, everyone!

Today Loppa “tagged along” with me to the gym. Clearly, the Valkyrie still doesn't quite trust me yet. But hey, at least I got to bond with the wolf.

Today was my first day with the new routine, and it was as intense as it was interesting. Apparently, up until now my routines have been based on doing complementary exercises. For example, working out my back and biceps, since when you work one, the other inevitably works too, so you might as well take advantage of it. But now my routine is based on antagonistic muscle groups. That is, one day for chest and back, one for shoulders, biceps, and triceps, and the last one for legs and calves. I also have an optional fourth day, with two sets (A and B) that I have to switch up every week. Although, if I’m feeling really pumped, I can do both in the same week for a total of five days, according to my trainer. We’ll see how it goes.

When I got back, I found Moofasa giving Myrk a massive info dump about his favorite books. Apparently, the Minotaur has discovered that by being incredibly boring and explaining everything in excruciating detail to the Valkyrie every time he catches her snooping, he gets the poor thing to stop and leave just to avoid listening to him anymore. Smart guy.

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[LiteraryMatcha]

Current Streak: 385

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 387

Good evening, everyone!

Uncle Horus stopped by the temple today. As expected, news of what happened on the Ván River has spread like wildfire throughout all the pantheons. If you think a hawk’s face has limited expressiveness, you should have seen his when he ran into the missing Valkyrie wandering around.

The good part is that Horus’s reputation has preceded him with the Valkyrie, since he’s the main representative of our pantheon, and that seems to have convinced her once and for all that both Moofasa and I are on the good side.

The downside is that Horus takes that responsibility very seriously, as usual, and after explaining everything to him, we had a really hard time convincing him to let her stay and not say anything to the Æsir for the time being. The truth is, the ancient deity’s logic was undeniable. If those two destructive entities were truly together and cooperating, the most obvious thing would be to inform the Norse pantheon and all go against them together. However, neither he nor Ra, Seth, Mehen, Thoth, and company have had any new problems with The Unmentionable One in their routine nightly battle against him, which indicated that he hadn’t yet hit it off with his new “partner.”

So this will be our mission. To find out where he has him and ensure that bond never forms. If we manage to confront them against each other, perhaps The Unmentionable One himself will return him to the headwaters of the Ván River, and both pantheons will be spared a direct confrontation.

Now all that's left is to plan and get everything ready for the adventure!

I’ve already been putting some pieces together in my head while I was at the gym. By the way, today was the second day of my new routine, which focused on shoulders, biceps, and triceps. And wow, it was pretty intense. I’m already dreading the upcoming leg day.

Anyway, time to relax and keep reading Sherlock Holmes. Maybe it’ll inspire me for my quest. I wonder what Myrk and Loppa are doing to entertain themselves here in the temple.

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 390

Good evening, everyone!

I have almost no energy today. The leg day of my new routine has left me completely drained. As soon as I saw there were only four exercises, all my alarm bells went off. And sure enough, it was like facing the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse if each horseman were a final boss from The Crypt of the Necrodancer. I don’t remember ever sweating or huffing and puffing this much in my entire life. In the end, I couldn’t even finish my sets because my legs were giving out. So much so that I hit muscle failure just walking back to my temple!

Once back, I had to put all my chores on hold and let Moofasa and the ushabtis take care of them. Today’s nap was incredibly long. Afterward, I entertained myself by watching Myrk and Loppa play Refskák. It’s the only one from my vast collection of board games that they know. And I must add that the wolf is incredibly good at it, to no one’s surprise if you think about it. I don’t know, now that the Valkyrie knows the wolf can talk, even if she doesn’t understand him, I feel like that warrior/mount dynamic has broken down, and they’re really starting to connect as friends. Plus, I'm sure it's totally new and amazing for her to see that the creature that until recently was just her mount not only talks but can also play board games.

Maybe I can ask Thoth about one of his spells for talking to animals. Look, I know he has one in his book, but he gets furious if anyone even thinks about reading it. But it’s worth a try; I know they’d both be thrilled to be able to chat with each other.

Yeah, I’ll do it. And I’ll set up a Sphinxes & Pyramids campaign so they can practice their brand new talking/understanding abilities and strengthen their bond. Yep yep!

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 392

Good evening, everyone!

Strangely enough, I’m more sore today from Saturday than I was yesterday, Sunday. But oh well.

For some reason, the temple gardens are full of corvids today. Behind the temple walls, I can hear banging that could be from construction work, but strangely, it sounds rhythmic and comes in pairs, like a heartbeat. And I keep hearing a cat meowing somewhere that sounds somehow closer inside than outside. If it weren’t for the fact that Moofasa confirmed the temple hasn’t had any visitors, I could swear Edgar Allan Poe came by while I was at the gym.

Today I went to see Thoth to ask him about helping Myrk understand Loppa. At first he refused, since, as I mentioned yesterday, that falls under his forbidden spells. But I told him to cut me some slack, that it’s for a good cause. In the end, he agreed, but on the condition that I beat him at board games. Best of three. And he’d let me pick the games. He knows I love strategy and puzzle games, but Thoth is the pantheon’s super-genius, so I acknowledged my obvious inferiority in this matter and set my pride aside to opt for three games of skill and/or ones with so much chance that everything comes down to pure luck. It’s not ideal, but at least I have a chance.

The first game was Mad Tea Party, which is a game where you build towers out of teacups and try to keep them from collapsing. I didn't think it through, since he was able to calculate the balance of the cups with infinitely more precision than I could.

The second was Flick of Faith, a territory-control game where you fling the pieces. I won by sending all his temples into the sea by smashing my sphinx into them. (Plus, every flick of mine packs a punch like a shotgun blast. All these years as a gamer have turned my fingers into veritable weapons of mass destruction.)

And the third, to break the tie, was *drumroll* The Game of the Goose! I know, it’s a total letdown, but it’s a game that plays itself. I mean, you just have to move the token where the die tells you to. You literally have no control whatsoever. That made it completely fair for both of us.

And look at that, as fate would have it, now Myrk and Loppa can talk to each other! And I’m so happy for both of them. I’m really looking forward to seeing how this plays out.

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 396

Good evening, everyone!

It’s 2 a.m. as I sit down to write this post. I’ve just returned from the dimension of Björnomi.

I’ve been sick this week and had to take three days off from my routine. I spent those days reading Sherlock Holmes, finishing the third book and getting more than halfway through the fourth. Today I felt better and went to the gym to try to make up for the week. The truth is, it was really tough. I could tell my body isn’t 100% yet, but hey, at least I did it! Awoohoo!

Later, I met up with my friend Björnomi and two of his other friends. A pretty calm otter and a very smart but incredibly whiny and impertinent donkey. All anthropomorphic, by the way. She wanted to show us her shopping basket to get our opinion on her new outfits. He... well... spent the whole time getting nervous and tense over anything that didn’t seem absolutely perfect to him. Basically, everything.

First we went to a tavern where they’d started making delicious slushy potions for the summer. Björnomi and the otter (who, by the way, are an ex-couple) chose blue potions, while the donkey went for an orange one that, obviously, wasn’t perfectly made according to him. I went with a purple one that probably looked unappetizing to anyone with little or no connection to the funeral arts. Delicious, by the way.

Back at Björnomi’s Nordic lodge, I pulled out three of my board games to play with them.

The first was Mad Tea Party, which you already know, and I won that game.

The second was Doggy Bag, a game where we play as mischievous dogs in a gang that steals bones for the greedy boss, who then never shares them with anyone. So we have to steal them back from him for ourselves without getting caught. Whoever has the most bones at the end of the game wins. It’s a game of probability and calculation, where you have to weigh how much you’re willing to risk provoking the boss’s wrath based on the potential loot. I won both games, of course.

The third game was Flick of Faith again. This time I used Anubis’s power, obviously, which lets me retrieve one of my tokens from the graveyard once per round. Which, the way I play it, translates to a devastating free shot to wipe out whatever I want, knowing that my token will come back to me even if it bounces off and goes off the board. And yes, victory was mine once again. I didn’t leave a single rival temple standing.

And that's it. I just got back from that last game, and I'm going to bed right away, I'm absolutely exhausted. I'll catch up with Moofasa, Myrk, and Loppa tomorrow.

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!

 

[Anpuankhses]

Current Streak: 397

Good evening, everyone!

I’ve been feeling pretty reflective. In fact, I’ve been like this for several days now. During my last two gym sessions, I was the only one there. And that, combined with the fact that I already knew the exercises and went through them on autopilot, left my mind with enough free space for it to start ruminating and reminding me of past battles. So much so that I found myself staring into space for several minutes between sets. Remembering with sadness and frustration all the conflicts that could have been avoided if people had shown genuine interest in me instead of prejudging me and acting on that basis. How everyone has always tried to force me into a mold that clearly isn’t for me. And how, despite my integrity and my total confidence in my own judgment, I’ve been filled with doubts and insecurities that even today are still hard to ignore.

I even thought about leaving the gym and distracting myself with something else, but I managed to muster the strength to finish my session.

Now I’m going to spend the afternoon with my partner. She’s the one who understands and knows me best. So much so that her mere presence is a refuge and her voice is a balm to me. I’ve already left Moofasa in charge of the temple, the ushabtis with their assigned tasks, and Myrk and Loppa are already beginning to soak up the aura of the place as if they’ve lived here forever. So I know I can relax and focus on my partner and myself.

And that’s it for today’s report. See you tomorrow, hive!