exercise and positive self-body image

[ollic]

I'm going to be honest, I've been dealing with low/negative self-body image for a long time and it's been making myself feel really horrible about myself. I'm scared what people think of me, and how I look. However, the other day, someone told me I should exercise more (in the way to lose weight) and was making rude comments about my appearance. It made me feel really horrible because I know I've "gained" a lot of weight because last year, people were surprised that I "lost" a lot of weight because I got my widsom teeth removed and couldn't eat for days. I feel like all of my confidence is so linked to the way I look that when people make fun of it, I just break down. I don't know what to do.

 

[Fremen]

For different reasons, for different things, but we all come up against what other people think of us.
It's not something we can change, what we can change is how we see ourselves.
I try to focus on how to feel better about myself, what makes me feel good and what doesn't, why I do one thing rather than another.
We are surrounded by people who care a lot about giving you unsolicited advice.
I don't know anyone who is satisfied with their life who does that.
So even those who give us advice are not doing so well themselves

 

[MissSmilla]

This sucks. And it's hard to not take others' words and opinions to heart. We are social animals and we are hardwired to want to belong and want to be regarded positively by others. So don't beat yourself up about reacting this way.

But there are things you can do. Small things, but they will amount to positive change over time. I'm going to leave a few suggestions, but remember I know nothing at all about you, about your situation, beyond the few lines of your post. So take what might help and leave the rest.

- Develop some mental image or a "mantra" to help distance you from others' negativity. At a time when I was stressed by people dumping their problems on me, I made a mental picture of simply stepping aside and not letting it land on top of me. Or you could imagine yourself in an invisible bubble protecting you from negativity. Or you can have a little sentence like "you are entitled to your opinion, and I am entitled to not care about it", "I don't have to listen to rudeness" or "my worth is not dependent on your opinion" - whatever works for you. (I consciously put "mantra" in parantheses - I do not imply anything spiritual, just a little sentence that makes sense to you and may help you a little.)

- Befriend your body as it is. And that's a hard one. I found a quote in my calendar this week that resonated with me. It's by James Rouse, and I have no idea who that is and I don't have time to look it up: You cannot shame yourself into change. You can only love yourself into evolution.

- Find some form of movement that you like doing, and do it. Exercise routines that feel forced tend not to stick, but I'm positive everybody can find something they actually like doing (or at least something where they like how their body feels afterwards and don't mind doing too much). It can be walks, it can be running, it can be lifting, it can be dancing, it can be taking the bike to work. It can be alone or in a group. For me personally, it used to be martial arts - and suddenly I saw the point of doing stupid things like push-ups to get better for practice...

- Fake it till you make it. Sometimes ask yourself "what would a person with good self-esteem and a positive body image do?" and try to do it. And this can refer to self-talk, small indulgences, the way you stand in front of a mirror...

So I hope something resonated with you. All the best for you, and we are rooting for you here in the Hive!

 

[Logan]

How is it going now @ollic ?