XiaoHua
Member
Mother of Dragons
Posts: 21
Hi all! I'm a pretty private person and never liked to share things with others, but a lot of self reflection over the past year made me realize I'm that way because I'm afraid of failing and having others see me do that. But I've learned to look at failure in a different way and not to see them as part of the journey/ a stepping stone to success, so I want to be able to learn to be more vulnerable with people.
I've been using darebee since forever ago, but I had a pattern of starting a new workout/ challenge and then falling off. I would beat myself up for it, and instead of just picking back up where I left off when I was ready, I'd make myself start over completely and the result was that I eventually gave up completely.
This is just a glimpse into the kind of thinking patterns I developed that lead to a bunch of mental health issues.
Another issue I always struggled with and didn't really understand was that I would constantly get injured or sick whenever I ramped up my fitness. Instead of trying to understand it and work with it, I again just beat myself up for being weak and tried to push mysefl harder. You can imagine how that went.
Won't go into detail but I had an accident almost two years agao that screwed up my already screwed up knee. When recovery didn't go as doctors forecasted, and despite doing all the right things things got worse and I ended up getting meniscus surgery, I recalled when I was young and diagnosed with arthritis my doctor offhandedly mentioned that she thought I was hypermobile and that's what could be causing my arthritis. At the time since she was very offhand about it and I was still super young, I didn't pay attention to it. I decided to look into it because I had a feeling it might have something to do with my failed recover and long story short, I discovered a whole bunch of physical issues I've been struggling with all my life were likely tied to my hypermobility.
I decided in fall of last year to come home (I'd been living abroad for 7 years) and take some time off to focus on my health.
I started working on mental health, re-evaluated some previous diagnoses and medicines I'd been taking (BC and and arthritis med) and decided to go off all of it and try to find a more natural approach to resetting my health.
The initial adjustment was rough. I fear I might have PMOS, though I can't really afford to go get an official diagnoses on my current health insurance. However, when I was younger before getting on BC doc did say I had a lot of PCOS symptoms. I gained a lot of weight and bad breakouts which was really discouraging.
So this year one of my big goals was to try to lose the excess weight for my health, and work on getting fit. I've been learning to work with my hypermobility, and it's a struggle but I thing I'm getting the hang of it. I enjoy using darebee because it's simple, free and effective. Plus I discovered the community challenges which are so fun. I've done a number of challenges and programs since the beginning of the year. I found I have a perhaps not so good habit of trying to do too many at once, but I'm happy to say I've learned to listen to my body and scale back when needed, and not bit myself up about it. Some 30 day programs/challenges have become 40+ day challenges, but that's ok, that's what works for me. I do feel myself getting stronger and learning to work with my body which is so important. I think the most important thing I've been learning (for the sake of my hypermobility) is quality over quantity/speed, making sure I do slow and controlled movements and modify where needed to not suffer any loss of stability in my joints. This is something that is totatlly different from a younger me that wanted to do as many reps as possible, as fast as possible, and as heavy as possible.
I'm really happy with the things I've done so far this year and now I want to get serious about the weight loss and actually start keeping track of my progress. I'm about two weeks into a 12 week plan for a moderate calorie deficit (aiming for around 500 most days). Starting Monday, I'm going to start following the the Metcon training plan here on darebee, and I'm aiming to get my steps up (starting at 6k a day for now and try to add 1000k each week or at least every two weeks.)
I'm still working on a few challenges that I'll finish out and then see where I'm at, if I feel like doing another challenge is reasonable or not. I saw next months challenge is balance which is excellent for stability so I definitely want to do that.
To round it out I'll add a general well-being challenge, one of the meditation challenges and aim for a more consistent sleep schedule (my biggest struggle!)
My current weight is 178.4 lbs and I'm trying to get down to just under 170 for this diet cycle. I will go back to maintenance after 12 weeks to give my body a break and reasses then.
I know I should probably use some other indicators to assess my health but I'm not really sure what, so for now this is it!
Anyway, I know this is long and maybe TMI but like I said I want to learn to be more vulnerable and also track my progress more publicly for some accountability! That's all for now
I've been using darebee since forever ago, but I had a pattern of starting a new workout/ challenge and then falling off. I would beat myself up for it, and instead of just picking back up where I left off when I was ready, I'd make myself start over completely and the result was that I eventually gave up completely.
This is just a glimpse into the kind of thinking patterns I developed that lead to a bunch of mental health issues.
Another issue I always struggled with and didn't really understand was that I would constantly get injured or sick whenever I ramped up my fitness. Instead of trying to understand it and work with it, I again just beat myself up for being weak and tried to push mysefl harder. You can imagine how that went.
Won't go into detail but I had an accident almost two years agao that screwed up my already screwed up knee. When recovery didn't go as doctors forecasted, and despite doing all the right things things got worse and I ended up getting meniscus surgery, I recalled when I was young and diagnosed with arthritis my doctor offhandedly mentioned that she thought I was hypermobile and that's what could be causing my arthritis. At the time since she was very offhand about it and I was still super young, I didn't pay attention to it. I decided to look into it because I had a feeling it might have something to do with my failed recover and long story short, I discovered a whole bunch of physical issues I've been struggling with all my life were likely tied to my hypermobility.
I decided in fall of last year to come home (I'd been living abroad for 7 years) and take some time off to focus on my health.
I started working on mental health, re-evaluated some previous diagnoses and medicines I'd been taking (BC and and arthritis med) and decided to go off all of it and try to find a more natural approach to resetting my health.
The initial adjustment was rough. I fear I might have PMOS, though I can't really afford to go get an official diagnoses on my current health insurance. However, when I was younger before getting on BC doc did say I had a lot of PCOS symptoms. I gained a lot of weight and bad breakouts which was really discouraging.
So this year one of my big goals was to try to lose the excess weight for my health, and work on getting fit. I've been learning to work with my hypermobility, and it's a struggle but I thing I'm getting the hang of it. I enjoy using darebee because it's simple, free and effective. Plus I discovered the community challenges which are so fun. I've done a number of challenges and programs since the beginning of the year. I found I have a perhaps not so good habit of trying to do too many at once, but I'm happy to say I've learned to listen to my body and scale back when needed, and not bit myself up about it. Some 30 day programs/challenges have become 40+ day challenges, but that's ok, that's what works for me. I do feel myself getting stronger and learning to work with my body which is so important. I think the most important thing I've been learning (for the sake of my hypermobility) is quality over quantity/speed, making sure I do slow and controlled movements and modify where needed to not suffer any loss of stability in my joints. This is something that is totatlly different from a younger me that wanted to do as many reps as possible, as fast as possible, and as heavy as possible.
I'm really happy with the things I've done so far this year and now I want to get serious about the weight loss and actually start keeping track of my progress. I'm about two weeks into a 12 week plan for a moderate calorie deficit (aiming for around 500 most days). Starting Monday, I'm going to start following the the Metcon training plan here on darebee, and I'm aiming to get my steps up (starting at 6k a day for now and try to add 1000k each week or at least every two weeks.)
I'm still working on a few challenges that I'll finish out and then see where I'm at, if I feel like doing another challenge is reasonable or not. I saw next months challenge is balance which is excellent for stability so I definitely want to do that.
To round it out I'll add a general well-being challenge, one of the meditation challenges and aim for a more consistent sleep schedule (my biggest struggle!)
My current weight is 178.4 lbs and I'm trying to get down to just under 170 for this diet cycle. I will go back to maintenance after 12 weeks to give my body a break and reasses then.
I know I should probably use some other indicators to assess my health but I'm not really sure what, so for now this is it!
Anyway, I know this is long and maybe TMI but like I said I want to learn to be more vulnerable and also track my progress more publicly for some accountability! That's all for now
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