How is everyone?

Damer

Administrator
DAREBEE Team
Warrior Monk from Terra
Pronouns: He/Him
Posts: 86
@koriandr you're right. RL is a little sucky right now for virtually everyone. In my dayjob this comes up again and again so what I will say comes from many discussions with different experts from different fields. We're in a transition. The 20th century's behind us and as we're neurobiologically programmed to do we've kicked the proverbial can down the road until it can no longer be kicked any further. Everything we're experiencing is because systemic failures have led us to this point and we now need systemic changes to happen. They will. It takes time and the interim period is really painful. In the meantime we need to be as positive as possible, things will be a little bleak regardless but how we perceive our ability to handle them makes all the difference. :)
 

Heniek

Well-known member
Boxer Posts: 161
"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."
I've been retired 5 years, and I have been doing well, keeping active and in good health. I'll be 70 next month so have experience many changes since living in the slums of Salford England to coming to Canada age 20.
 

Heniek

Well-known member
Boxer Posts: 161
"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."
@Damer went back in '82 for 3 weeks, quite the change, much old memories. Was a student at Salford Tech, graphic design and advertising for 4 years. Got paid more being a student than working from age 16, working class kids get a full living grant, plus all supplies reimbursed and a 50 quid tab at the college shop,


 
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lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 247
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
I'm doing pretty well in my little bubble out in the sticks. We're talking a lot about things going on, especially now that my cousin lives with us who left his home country a couple of months ago in anticipation of the mobilisation.
But then, there's so much to do, I'm prepared for a lot of things as best as I can, and aside from that, it's living my life as much as possible because I can't change anything big by myself anyway and I'm far from feeling cornered enough to actually do something out of desperation.
So, life's going on as usual, pretty much.
 

koriandr

Well-known member
Heroine from Europe
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 67
"Headbanging to classical music"
I'm doing pretty well in my little bubble out in the sticks. We're talking a lot about things going on, especially now that my cousin lives with us who left his home country a couple of months ago in anticipation of the mobilisation.
But then, there's so much to do, I'm prepared for a lot of things as best as I can, and aside from that, it's living my life as much as possible because I can't change anything big by myself anyway and I'm far from feeling cornered enough to actually do something out of desperation.
So, life's going on as usual, pretty much.
Speaking about mobilisation and the recent events in Ukraine, I fear we are as close to a nuclear threat, if not closer, as we were during the Cuba crisis. Given that I'm currently living in Europe and not far from the "operation", I'm constantly on torns, waiting for the sirens to go off.
 

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Commando from Prometheus Cloud Galaxy
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 182
Eh. Unemployed. Very little prospect for employment in the town I live. No money to go anywhere else. Just another day in South Africa.

Also strange mix of feeling lonely/liking the loneliness. Which is normal for me. Sadly. I don't identify with the people of this town. Nope. Not one of them. (Here everyone knows everyone.)

And of course the usual wishes that aliens would please come down and just abduct me. As a result of what's going on in the world. I've stopped watching the news.

**Stares out the window at the stars, looking for movement, and jumps up and down whenever something moves, shouting "Here I am!"***
 

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Commando from Prometheus Cloud Galaxy
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 182
Speaking about mobilisation and the recent events in Ukraine, I fear we are as close to a nuclear threat, if not closer, as we were during the Cuba crisis. Given that I'm currently living in Europe and not far from the "operation", I'm constantly on torns, waiting for the sirens to go off.
I'm sorry that you have to live through that stress.

It doesn't really help, but prepare as best you can and try not to worry about what you cannot change. If you can't change it, worrying just takes away some peace you could have had today.

That's what I tell myself in my tough times anyway.

Sending lots of virtual light and warmth your way 🙏
 

koriandr

Well-known member
Heroine from Europe
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 67
"Headbanging to classical music"
Eh. Unemployed. Very little prospect for employment in the town I live. No money to go anywhere else. Just another day in South Africa.

Also strange mix of feeling lonely/liking the loneliness. Which is normal for me. Sadly. I don't identify with the people of this town. Nope. Not one of them. (Here everyone knows everyone.)

And of course the usual wishes that aliens would please come down and just abduct me. As a result of what's going on in the world. I've stopped watching the news.

**Stares out the window at the stars, looking for movement, and jumps up and down whenever something moves, shouting "Here I am!"***
Sometimes I wish I could just fly away from this planet and go have fun with the Universe lol.
I'm sorry that you have to live through that stress.

It doesn't really help, but prepare as best you can and try not to worry about what you cannot change. If you can't change it, worrying just takes away some peace you could have had today.

That's what I tell myself in my tough times anyway.

Sending lots of virtual light and warmth your way 🙏
Oh I'm sure this is just a phase we're living through, as @Damer above wrote. I'm also sure aliens are having their inner wars as well :LOL:!
I'm positive on the front that everything will be alright one day, but the transition to this "one day" is painful and will probably be darker than anything humanity has experienced, but withstanding hard times is a very valuable human trait of up most quality that most aliens would be envious of.
 

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Commando from Prometheus Cloud Galaxy
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 182
Sometimes I wish I could just fly away from this planet and go have fun with the Universe lol.

Oh I'm sure this is just a phase we're living through, as @Damer above wrote. I'm also sure aliens are having their inner wars as well :LOL:!
I'm positive on the front that everything will be alright one day, but the transition to this "one day" is painful and will probably be darker than anything humanity has experienced, but withstanding hard times is a very valuable human trait of up most quality that most aliens would be envious of.
Self-imposed hardship. Because of fake borders and fake territories that supposedly devides us. It's nothing but a social construct. We are all human. One race. One world. Except when it comes to politicians.

This is doing nothing for my human-love level. And just makes me feel more like an outcast. My meditation leader has urged me to try to think of it in the way that - all humans really only want to be happy, as a way to get me to feel connected to everyone.

But at what cost do you want to achieve happiness? Be kind. That's all.

There's such a small handful of humans I can really associate with. And they're all so far away. Hence me wanting to call down aliens. I'm sure those of them watching us are probably shaking their heads and slapping themselves across the face. 🤦
 

koriandr

Well-known member
Heroine from Europe
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 67
"Headbanging to classical music"
Self-imposed hardship. Because of fake borders and fake territories that supposedly devides us. It's nothing but a social construct. We are all human. One race. One world. Except when it comes to politicians.

This is doing nothing for my human-love level. And just makes me feel more like an outcast. My meditation leader has urged me to try to think of it in the way that - all humans really only want to be happy, as a way to get me to feel connected to everyone.

But at what cost do you want to achieve happiness? Be kind. That's all.

There's such a small handful of humans I can really associate with. And they're all so far away. Hence me wanting to call down aliens. I'm sure those of them watching us are probably shaking their heads and slapping themselves across the face. 🤦
And don't start me on the negative effects upon the flora and fauna humanity has conducted, supplying the neverending consumerism they call "happiness". I personally think humanity will prosper only when they ascend spiritually above all negative influence and emotion. Only then will they be able to call themselves "intelligent" species. Currently you can't tell them apart from the monkeys they supposedly came out of, lead by anger and greed, too prideful to declare their mistakes and too lazy to do something about them. Why do you think aliens don't visit this place?

Now that I've gotten that out of me...I believe there's a lot of potential in humanity. It saddens me that the people with power, the ones that, for some stupid reason, have the final say on what goes, are spiritually illiterate. Humans are not meant to be in concrete jungles, eating stuff made out of questionable substances, numbing their senses with cheap distractions from life. Humans are meant to be one with nature.

I've got so many stories about interactions with wildlife, with nature, that everytime I hear about disasters, birthed from the climate change, which by itself was created by the beings meant to protect this planet, it saddens me to a point as if I've lost a close relative. Everything has a conscious, it feels, it needs, it lives. Humanity has been chosen to take up the role of leaders and protectors of this planet, connect with it's inhabitants, but all they do is think about themselves, leaving the fate of this planet be like the one of Mars and Venus.

Here I go, carried away with my pessimism, but don't let it fool you, I believe things will change. :LOL:
 

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Commando from Prometheus Cloud Galaxy
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 182
And don't start me on the negative effects upon the flora and fauna humanity has conducted, supplying the neverending consumerism they call "happiness". I personally think humanity will prosper only when they ascend spiritually above all negative influence and emotion. Only then will they be able to call themselves "intelligent" species. Currently you can't tell them apart from the monkeys they supposedly came out of, lead by anger and greed, too prideful to declare their mistakes and too lazy to do something about them. Why do you think aliens don't visit this place?

Now that I've gotten that out of me...I believe there's a lot of potential in humanity. It saddens me that the people with power, the ones that, for some stupid reason, have the final say on what goes, are spiritually illiterate. Humans are not meant to be in concrete jungles, eating stuff made out of questionable substances, numbing their senses with cheap distractions from life. Humans are meant to be one with nature.

I've got so many stories about interactions with wildlife, with nature, that everytime I hear about disasters, birthed from the climate change, which by itself was created by the beings meant to protect this planet, it saddens me to a point as if I've lost a close relative. Everything has a conscious, it feels, it needs, it lives. Humanity has been chosen to take up the role of leaders and protectors of this planet, connect with it's inhabitants, but all they do is think about themselves, leaving the fate of this planet be like the one of Mars and Venus.

Here I go, carried away with my pessimism, but don't let it fool you, I believe things will change. :LOL:
Yeah I don't even want to think about the environment. I'm such an animal/nature lover and that kind of stuff just makes me depressed because I can do nothing on my own to fix it.

Humans do have the capacity for goodness and ... Oneness. It's a shame so few use it. Correction - it's a shame so few in power use it.

But yes, good and bad is the circle of life. Nothing good lasts. Neither does anything bad. They forever alternate between each other.

Another flaw of mine, as my spiritual teacher pointed out, is that I tend to view my entire life as a single event. It's ALL good/bad because of X.

And that's not how it works. We have to have a mountain-top view..and realize that we are tapestries of multiple events... Both good and bad. There is no one event in life that ultimately makes EVERYTHING good or bad.

One bad thing shouldn't fall like a blanket over a whole day. It's just a moment.
 

koriandr

Well-known member
Heroine from Europe
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 67
"Headbanging to classical music"
Yeah I don't even want to think about the environment. I'm such an animal/nature lover and that kind of stuff just makes me depressed because I can do nothing on my own to fix it.

Humans do have the capacity for goodness and ... Oneness. It's a shame so few use it. Correction - it's a shame so few in power use it.

But yes, good and bad is the circle of life. Nothing good lasts. Neither does anything bad. They forever alternate between each other.

Another flaw of mine, as my spiritual teacher pointed out, is that I tend to view my entire life as a single event. It's ALL good/bad because of X.

And that's not how it works. We have to have a mountain-top view..and realize that we are tapestries of multiple events... Both good and bad. There is no one event in life that ultimately makes EVERYTHING good or bad.

One bad thing shouldn't fall like a blanket over a whole day. It's just a moment.
And we are the ones that decide how big of an impact that makes on our lives! That was a very nice and sweet explanation on how we should perceive our surrounding world with all of it's nuances and shapes!
Eh. Unemployed. Very little prospect for employment in the town I live. No money to go anywhere else. Just another day in South Africa.

Also strange mix of feeling lonely/liking the loneliness. Which is normal for me. Sadly. I don't identify with the people of this town. Nope. Not one of them. (Here everyone knows everyone.)

And of course the usual wishes that aliens would please come down and just abduct me. As a result of what's going on in the world. I've stopped watching the news.

**Stares out the window at the stars, looking for movement, and jumps up and down whenever something moves, shouting "Here I am!"***
And about the part about feeling lonely, I can relate. The moment I graduated all of my friends just, went on with their lifes. The circle of friends I had now looks more like a zero lol.
But I try to do what I like and basically engulf myself in positive thoughts, even though the surrounding of people around me are not so pleasant at times.
 

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 247
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
Speaking about mobilisation and the recent events in Ukraine, I fear we are as close to a nuclear threat, if not closer, as we were during the Cuba crisis. Given that I'm currently living in Europe and not far from the "operation", I'm constantly on torns, waiting for the sirens to go off.
I live closer to the Ukraine than I've ever before, but I'm not all that worried about a nuclear threat. If something happens, it does happen, whether I want it to or not, whether I'm prepared or not, so I'm not all that bothered by it. And then there's a lot of questions regarding nuclear weapons, the condition of those in the world, the maintenance question, and the generally overstated danger of those. Sure, I don't want a big war happening, but a nuclear war doesn't spell the end of the world as fiction wants us to believe.
Not very comforting if an all out war should happen, but like I said, either it does or not, and I can't change anything atm anyway.
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 68
"Hello"
Well, something just hit me pretty hard...I don't love anyone right now.

I mean, I have a general love for humanity. I love people, and I love the kindness strangers can show each other. I feel love for the idea of love.

But I stopped loving my (former) best friend. I loved her for so many years, but she changed a couple years ago. Things had been going downhill, and our friendship officially ended a little over a month ago, but it's so, so odd to me that I no longer feel love for her. I've cut that feeling off because of what she did to me - she's no longer the person I loved.

I don't love my ex anymore, either. I never loved him romantically, we never got to that point, but I loved him as a friend quite a bit. We recently became friends again, but I realized that I ended up losing my platonic love for him too along the way. It's comfortable talking to him, but it's still not like it was before - the platonic affection just isn't there.

This is the first period of my life where I haven't loved anyone. I had my grandpa and grandma to love growing up. They passed away. I had my cat who I loved, he meant the world to me. He passed away. It feels so strange to me to be in this position now. I never really thought about it. I assumed me and my best friend would be friends forever. I never imagined she could or would turn into the person she turned into, and I never imagined my feelings would go away. I thought I would still love her no matter what she did or who she became. I always talked about "forever" with her, having no clue that "forever" wouldn't last.

I used to love all of my friends, but I don't anymore. Maybe I never really loved them, maybe that was immaturity, my desperation to feel loved, so I told them I loved them in order to hear them tell me they loved me too. A fake love?

I don't love my current cat. I find myself kissing him and telling him he's a good cat and that I love him, but that's kind of just on autopilot. I don't really feel much for him. I've had him for over a year now, and I don't know if I'll ever develop real love for him.

Maybe I just stopped being able to feel it somewhere along the way.
 

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Commando from Prometheus Cloud Galaxy
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 182
Well, something just hit me pretty hard...I don't love anyone right now.

I mean, I have a general love for humanity. I love people, and I love the kindness strangers can show each other. I feel love for the idea of love.

But I stopped loving my (former) best friend. I loved her for so many years, but she changed a couple years ago. Things had been going downhill, and our friendship officially ended a little over a month ago, but it's so, so odd to me that I no longer feel love for her. I've cut that feeling off because of what she did to me - she's no longer the person I loved.

I don't love my ex anymore, either. I never loved him romantically, we never got to that point, but I loved him as a friend quite a bit. We recently became friends again, but I realized that I ended up losing my platonic love for him too along the way. It's comfortable talking to him, but it's still not like it was before - the platonic affection just isn't there.

This is the first period of my life where I haven't loved anyone. I had my grandpa and grandma to love growing up. They passed away. I had my cat who I loved, he meant the world to me. He passed away. It feels so strange to me to be in this position now. I never really thought about it. I assumed me and my best friend would be friends forever. I never imagined she could or would turn into the person she turned into, and I never imagined my feelings would go away. I thought I would still love her no matter what she did or who she became. I always talked about "forever" with her, having no clue that "forever" wouldn't last.

I used to love all of my friends, but I don't anymore. Maybe I never really loved them, maybe that was immaturity, my desperation to feel loved, so I told them I loved them in order to hear them tell me they loved me too. A fake love?

I don't love my current cat. I find myself kissing him and telling him he's a good cat and that I love him, but that's kind of just on autopilot. I don't really feel much for him. I've had him for over a year now, and I don't know if I'll ever develop real love for him.

Maybe I just stopped being able to feel it somewhere along the way.
This may or may not help. I have trouble feeling any kind of emotion besides depression and sadness and anger.

A long time ago, I talked to a church leader about it. I expressed that I don't feel like I can love.

He told me that love isn't an emotion. It's an action. If it was an emotion, it would be stormy, like anger that comes and goes. But for it to be lasting like in 80-year marriages, it needs to be more than emotion - something we could consciously choose to do.

I mean, just because you want to murder someone close one day doesn't mean you don't love them anymore. It just means that maybe they pissed you off.

And what I've noticed, is that my love doesn't feel like much in the moment. For me in order to "see" if I love something or someone, I need to picture what it would be like without it. What would I feel like if it suddenly died? Or was taken away forever?

If I see myself sinking down on the floor, crying unstoppably and feeling like the world has ended, chances are I love it. It's extreme but it's how my brain works.

Also... And this is triggering so I won't mention the s-word. But when I'm really, REALLY depressed, the things/person I love tends to become my reason for sticking around when I'm in a very bad, dark place.

I don't know if any of that helped but I do hope that you feel better soon and that you find something to love and cherish. Maybe a new pet?
 

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Commando from Prometheus Cloud Galaxy
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 182
And since we're on heavy topics. This past week I've just remembered that the reason I have trouble connecting to people is because I couldn't fully trust my only caregiver (who was my grandmother). I won't get into details but she often threatened to send me away or even asked Santa for a different daughter one time instead of just giving me a smack when I did something wrong.

Do you guys know how damaging that is for a young child?

And I didn't make friends at school either. And I don't mean middle- or high school. I mean from the time I was in a chreche. Pre-school, guys. And I can't even tell you why I was just cast aside. I was never unfriendly with anyone. Ever. For some reason kids just didn't want to play with me. Or sit with me. And when they did I was often the subject of ridicule for various reasons. I never had lasting friendships. Maybe I could sit with someone for a month or so before they'd move on. And I'd be alone again. And yes it has consistently happened in adulthood too, though mostly because I choose to distance myself from hypocritical people who pretend to be my friends only to drag me through the mud behind my back.

So, that's the origins of my anti-social behavior (more love towards animals and nature than humans) officially unrooted and laid bare.

That brings me to my current issue. I feel like I need to talk to someone about this, I don't know for what reason, what I'm looking to gain from it.

But I feel like I can't.

I feel like I have to apologise for talking about it because people don't have time to listen to stuff like this, or they'll think I'm just looking for attention.

So. Sorry for typing this. But maybe writing it helps. Since opening up to my church leader hasn't helped any, yet. (The guy might just be busy and I've been spending the morning crying because "even he has pushed me aside".)

I need chocolate.
 
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Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 68
"Hello"
@Nevetharine

I appreciate your reply to my post. It seems like you and I have had similar experiences at least in terms of pain and depression. It sounds like what your grandmother did was raise you to always be fearful, that one wrong move could make her be mean to you or threaten to get rid of you. Like you weren't good enough to be her granddaughter unless you were perfect at every moment. It's incredibly difficult to unlearn those fears and be open and vulnerable around others.

You're not forcing anyone to spend time reading your posts. There will be people who read a couple sentences and decide to stop, or just glance at the length and decide it's too long for them. But there will also be people who have the time and the interest to look at your post and read it all the way through, of their own choice. It is the internet over here, where we have an incredible amount of freedom to do what we want. I'm sure your grandmother constantly made you second guess what you could trust her with, and I'm sure she did make you feel like you were wasting her time - but no one in here is obligated to listen to you, we all choose to put our time into you if that's what we want to do.

People will disappoint you - in this case, you seem to feel disappointed in how long it's taking our church leader to help you out. I don't know who he is or what's going on, but I can tell you that people doing things that make you feel hurt isn't automatically the same as them not caring about you or pushing you aside. Instead of thinking "even he has pushed me aside", I recommend telling yourself something like, "I can't prove that he's pushed me aside. But it hurts that he isn't here right now."

Let yourself feel hurt over it, but don't make yourself feel more hurt than you need to.

Are you in therapy? If you're not, then I hope you have access to it. I wouldn't have been able to be where I am today without it. I still feel down and hurt frequently, but my therapist helped me clear my mind and taught me how to keep myself grounded. Again, I still spiral, but it happens much less frequently than it would have otherwise. I wouldn't know how to pull myself back up if not for her help.

TW: Abuse

I was also abused by my mother growing up I lived half my time with her and half my time with my grandparents. I'm so grateful for my grandparents showing me love and kindness - if not for them, I'd be much worse off. But despite that genuine love, I'm still suffering from the damage my mother caused me. My grandma passed when I was 7, and my grandpa passed when I was about 13. So I still spent a lot of time with an abusive mother without any support system in place.

My mom used a lot of mind tricks on me. It's still hard for me to refer to it as "abuse" because I feel like minimizing it. I remember her always getting angry at me when I talked about my grandparents in an affectionate way - she would tell me I only love them because they spoil me. Even one time told me she was glad they were dead. She would attack them every time she and I got into a fight, tell me that my grandparents brainwashed me and that's why I hate her. Even though my grandparents never talked badly about my mom when I was with them - she was the only one who would attack the other party.

Even when I was just in 2nd grade, I remember my mom screaming at me and pouring all of her medication into her hand and telling me she was going to kill herself because I wasn't behaving. I begged her not to, and she told me it was too late. I was terrified, I told her it was a sin and that she would go to hell, and she told me "God will understand". I can't believe my mom pulled that crap on me when I was that young, when I didn't know anything about the world. All I knew was that my mom was going to die and that it was my fault because I wasn't behaving.
 

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Commando from Prometheus Cloud Galaxy
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 182
I appreciate your reply to my post. It seems like you and I have had similar experiences at least in terms of pain and depression.
I don't have access to therapy. Apart from the fact that I can't afford it, in this small town there are only 2 psychologists, I went to each of them once and hated both. It had nothing to do with their snobby personalities...I swear...

I'm used to trying to logically think my way out of my spirals. And when I can't, my husband and my parrot gets me out of them without even knowing it. Like I said, they are my reasons for sticking around. Or after 2 hours of crying, I CHOOSE to stop because by that time I'm exhausted, and I decide that crying isn't helping - it's just draining my energy further. And it's not changing a damn thing.

So I'm used to dealing with all this stuff alone. I know it can't be changed. I know I'm the only one that can challenge those beliefs. Sure a psychologist can help, but I am the one who has to do the "physical" work of challenging my brain's beliefs.

I just want someone to listen now and then. And be sympathetic. That's all. I suppose, I want a reminder that I hadn't completely been left alone. Forever.

I appreciate that you took the time to read. 💚 Sure does sound that we went through similar things. May your journey be light, and peaceful, and warm 🙏

I wanted to add. Said spiritual leader didn't abandon me - he was with another client throughout the day and answered me last night. Sigh.

He assured me that he would always be there to listen. And that I need more (regular) meditation. Lol. Can't argue that.
 

koriandr

Well-known member
Heroine from Europe
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 67
"Headbanging to classical music"
I'm glad that a lot of people wrote how they feel. I personally believe that writing something that bothers you down, is a form of expressing it out of oneself. It's not a therapeutic session with a professional, it's more like a form of mediation than anything. You're focusing on one problem and letting it out. I hope all of you find closure with your current problems and realise that we all care. We're here to listen and understand. That's why I created this thread for. I also hope more people share their stories here, because I truly believe that once you read someone's story and realise that it basically describes you, you'll find a friend. Or even a soulmate.

Take care guys :heart:
 

demski

Member
from Canada
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 7
I'm glad that a lot of people wrote how they feel. I personally believe that writing something that bothers you down, is a form of expressing it out of oneself. It's not a therapeutic session with a professional, it's more like a form of mediation than anything. You're focusing on one problem and letting it out. I hope all of you find closure with your current problems and realise that we all care. We're here to listen and understand. That's why I created this thread for. I also hope more people share their stories here, because I truly believe that once you read someone's story and realise that it basically describes you, you'll find a friend. Or even a soulmate.

Take care guys :heart:

Or at least that you don't feel alone. :heart:
 

Bull

New member
Posts: 1
This has not been good this year for me. I have had many health problems. In fact, I'm still dealing with a torn ankle tendon. Got laid off from work. However, they said they will see if they need me in January. I had to move in with my parents for a bit due to my health. Plus my mom is having mental problems. I'm still trying to smile, even though there is little to smile about and a lot to cry about.
 

Nanna Io

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Shieldmaiden from France
Pronouns: She/They
Posts: 128
I am struggling with myself at the moment. I miss exercising, I miss running, but it seems every time I get back into it it's only a matter of weeks until I get derailed and then I go months without doing any physical activity. My brain is starting to nag me telling me there is no point to bother at all.
 
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Heniek

Well-known member
Boxer Posts: 161
"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."
@Nanna Io I usually have a simple daily routine no matter what, for me it's my tai chi forms that I do every morning and takes 1/2 an hour. A guy on youtube who does body weight sez he never trains to failure coz if he did he'd be too burnt out for the next day.
 

koriandr

Well-known member
Heroine from Europe
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 67
"Headbanging to classical music"
I am struggling with myself at the moment. I miss exercising, I miss running, but it seems every time I get back into it it's only a matter of weeks until I get derailed and then I go months without doing any physical activity. My brain is starting to nag me telling me there is no point to bother at all.
I was like that at one point. What really pushed me forward was thinking of all the sacrifices my parents made for me to be where I am... and how I was disappointing them. I told myself that no matter the cost I need to prove them that their sacrifices weren't in vain. Doing assignments 24/7 really brings my energy down a lot, and my workout atm is 2-3 exercises max whenever I see time.
 

koriandr

Well-known member
Heroine from Europe
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 67
"Headbanging to classical music"
This has not been good this year for me. I have had many health problems. In fact, I'm still dealing with a torn ankle tendon. Got laid off from work. However, they said they will see if they need me in January. I had to move in with my parents for a bit due to my health. Plus my mom is having mental problems. I'm still trying to smile, even though there is little to smile about and a lot to cry about.
Oh that's really unfortunate. I hope you heal physically and mentally fast. Remember, until there's something to fight for the fight isn't over. You just need to find that something. It's either your family, dreams or goals. Much love and healing energy :heart:
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 68
"Hello"
I'm in an odd place right now. Mentally/emotionally, I'm doing much better than I was when I wrote in my last post. My outlook on life has improved beyond words, beyond what I thought was possible, especially in such a short amount of time. I love it when people ask me how I'm doing, and I'm able to say I'm doing good. Not "fine" (which always used to be a lie, I was always not fine). But genuinely good. I'm so grateful for where I am now.

But it seems like the universe is always in a balance. My physical pain just seems to be getting worse and worse. It takes away so much of my life. I've spent hours and hours today just showering, lying down with the heating pad, doing stretches, taking pills. It feels like I'm not living when it gets this bad. I have to put off social events because of it. I don't get to enjoy my hobbies because of it. I would be having the time of my life right now if not for this pain.
 
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