In the Lion's den
- Thread starter Matan
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Matan
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"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
Hi guys! Sorry for disappearing. I felt extremely embarrassed after posting.
Thanks for all your lovely and kind messages. I really appreciate it. You really feel like a family.
I wish I could say I'm okay, but I'm not. I'm alive and very not okay. Though I wouldn't even call that living. It's a vegetation...
I do still exercise, well kind of. I do yoga everyday. Force of habit I guess.
That's basically all in terms of update. I will probably disappear again now. See you guys soon.
Thanks for all your lovely and kind messages. I really appreciate it. You really feel like a family.
I wish I could say I'm okay, but I'm not. I'm alive and very not okay. Though I wouldn't even call that living. It's a vegetation...
I do still exercise, well kind of. I do yoga everyday. Force of habit I guess.
That's basically all in terms of update. I will probably disappear again now. See you guys soon.
MamaBear
Well-known member
You are back!!!!Hi guys! Sorry for disappearing. I felt extremely embarrassed after posting.
Thanks for all your lovely and kind messages. I really appreciate it. You really feel like a family.
I wish I could say I'm okay, but I'm not. I'm alive and very not okay. Though I wouldn't even call that living. It's a vegetation...
I do still exercise, well kind of. I do yoga everyday. Force of habit I guess.
That's basically all in terms of update. I will probably disappear again now. See you guys soon.
I would like to say that a person who does not struggle can reprimand you for your difficulties and not overcome them.
The rest of us who struggle with life, our circumstances, our people in life, and our selves will be right here encouraging you to take one more step and breathe one more breath.
You are stronger than you think you are. Look at you still here. Nice to see you again
You are loved more than you know. Those who rallied around you to show you support are still here to give you support.
Our minds can be our own worst critic. They condemn us for being human, though isn't that what we are? They remind us that we are not living up to some vague expectation.
Today remind yourself that you are loved and accepted.
I hope you come back very soon. We missed you!
Maegaranthelas
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from
Coming back out of hibernation and sending you some love and support 
Hey there, how are you?
Matan
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"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
Well... I'm alive... But not good unfortunately. Everything is still the same. Sometimes slightly better, sometimes worse. Overall nothing changed really. I still don't enjoy being me, nor living my life...
I started Cardio HIIT though, I'm at day 7 now.
I started Cardio HIIT though, I'm at day 7 now.
HellYeah
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Posts: 1,440
That's what I hear... so that's the good part, go on with that. Small steps!
PetiteSheWolf
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D7 is good; keep it up!
Maegaranthelas
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Matan
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Posts: 1,001
"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
Sorry. I disappeared again. I was sick, well, still kinda am. Coughing for two and a half weeks already.
Mentally it got better for a while, but it was very short lived. I feel terrible again.
Honestly? I wish someone would help me leave this effing place. I'll never be able do it on my own...
I'll most likely disappear again. I'll be honest, I don't want to worry you. I don't want to be a burden.
Mentally it got better for a while, but it was very short lived. I feel terrible again.
Honestly? I wish someone would help me leave this effing place. I'll never be able do it on my own...
I'll most likely disappear again. I'll be honest, I don't want to worry you. I don't want to be a burden.
Louve Rose
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"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. (Nikos Kazantzakis)"
Mamatigerj
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You are not a burden. 
FlowersandPetals
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Syrius
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Valkyrie
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The Sonoran Desert
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from
The Sonoran Desert
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Posts: 1,548
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others."
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
You're not a burden, you are our friend 
You can share as much as you feel like, either here in the thread or one-to-one if that feels safer for you.
But you are valued, even though you feel terrible. We're still here for you
You can share as much as you feel like, either here in the thread or one-to-one if that feels safer for you.
But you are valued, even though you feel terrible. We're still here for you
Matan
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Alchemist
Posts: 1,001
Posts: 1,001
"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
Thank you everyone 
I feel bad for appearing here once a month to ramble about my stupid life and disappear again.
I feel so worthless and useless... I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I wish I could just snap my fingers and change my life in an instant.
I know I'm supposed to work on myself, but I have absolutely no energy nor motivation. I feel like it'll all be in vain, that I'll fail anyway, and I don't want to fail anymore.
I probably already said all of that... Well, nothing changes...
I feel bad for appearing here once a month to ramble about my stupid life and disappear again.
I feel so worthless and useless... I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I wish I could just snap my fingers and change my life in an instant.
I know I'm supposed to work on myself, but I have absolutely no energy nor motivation. I feel like it'll all be in vain, that I'll fail anyway, and I don't want to fail anymore.
I probably already said all of that... Well, nothing changes...
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
See the thing is, you're already worthy of our love 
Yes absolutely, we would like for you to feel better because we want happiness for you!
But you do not need to change for us, or to hide away the sad parts to deserve a place here.
Also failure is just a sign that you tried something.
I fail all the time, at little things, at big things.
I failed to leave an unhealthy relationship at least 4 times over the course of 5 years.
I also failed to start knitting a sock about 8 times this Friday
But I got there in the end, and so will you
Yes absolutely, we would like for you to feel better because we want happiness for you!
But you do not need to change for us, or to hide away the sad parts to deserve a place here.
Also failure is just a sign that you tried something.
I fail all the time, at little things, at big things.
I failed to leave an unhealthy relationship at least 4 times over the course of 5 years.
I also failed to start knitting a sock about 8 times this Friday
But I got there in the end, and so will you
Syrius
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Valkyrie
from
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from
The Sonoran Desert
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Posts: 1,548
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others."
Failing is completely normal and human. It is how we learn because we learn just as much, if not more, from our mistakes than our successes. We are here for you, no strings attached, nothing to be done to earn our love. You are not a burden; you are our friend, and we just want you to be okay.
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
Somehow I don't think you'd tell me that sort of thing if I were struggling as much as you are.
Your brain is being very mean to you. And it is wrong!
Also, we want to talk to you
Your brain is being very mean to you. And it is wrong!
Also, we want to talk to you
Matan
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Alchemist
Posts: 1,001
Posts: 1,001
"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
You are absolutely right. I wouldn't.
Because everyone have worth and deserves compassion. Everyone except me...
I'm a terrible person, I hurt people I care about...
I'm worthless...
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
We all make mistakes. That doesn't make you a monster unworthy of compassion
Louve Rose
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"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. (Nikos Kazantzakis)"
Matan
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"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
But I'm not here now, I don't follow your threads and don't support you.
I only whine and complain, but I'll stop now. I don't want to make you feel bad.
I'll just say that I don't believe I'll ever be happy.
I only whine and complain, but I'll stop now. I don't want to make you feel bad.
I'll just say that I don't believe I'll ever be happy.
HellYeah
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Posts: 1,440
Well buddy, now it is time to get supported. There are times in life when you give and times when you get. Be strong, maybe get (professional) real life support. Your mind plays tricks at you, and even if you are as bad as you think you are, the best way to be a better person would be to get yourself support.
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
A lot of people think that before they find a good therapist 
But it being out of your price range is really frustrating, for sure
But it being out of your price range is really frustrating, for sure
Matan
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Alchemist
Posts: 1,001
Posts: 1,001
"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
That's may take a lot of time and money.
Yea, it really annoys me. I'm broken and now I'm supposed to pay to, maybe, be fixed.
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
It's not F-ing fair at all.
You deserve support and care!
We all do!
Stupid system
But at least our compassion is free! And without a deadline!
So I hope today you experience something nice
You deserve support and care!
We all do!
Stupid system
But at least our compassion is free! And without a deadline!
So I hope today you experience something nice
Matan
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Alchemist
Posts: 1,001
Posts: 1,001
"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
Well, life isn't fair, isn't it?
It all sucks, the system suck!
It all sucks, the system suck!
I don't want to overuse it. I appreciate you all, but don't want to worry you with my problems...
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure we have a nigh-infinite capacity for compassion between us
You are very welcome to unload as much as you want to.
The benefit of this forum is that if someone knows they can't handle it for a few days, they can just dip out and come back later.
But we would like to give you the space to actually voice your struggles, and not have to keep them to yourself forever.
You are among good people here
You are very welcome to unload as much as you want to.
The benefit of this forum is that if someone knows they can't handle it for a few days, they can just dip out and come back later.
But we would like to give you the space to actually voice your struggles, and not have to keep them to yourself forever.
You are among good people here
Matan
Well-known member
Alchemist
Posts: 1,001
Posts: 1,001
"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
I wish I could share here what really sits in my stupid head, but in the end it's still a public forum. I can only say that much.
I know!You are among good people here
Louve Rose
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"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. (Nikos Kazantzakis)"
Matan
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Alchemist
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Posts: 1,001
"A sunset does not last forever, but it sure can be pretty. - Maegaranthelas"
This is the only place I can vent...
One of my dogs is sick... My family is treating me like I'm the bad guy and I'm not allowed to have feelings or emotions.
I hate my life so much. I want to die... And I'm the closest I've been to killing myself...
If I'll disappear completely then you'll know...
One of my dogs is sick... My family is treating me like I'm the bad guy and I'm not allowed to have feelings or emotions.
I hate my life so much. I want to die... And I'm the closest I've been to killing myself...
If I'll disappear completely then you'll know...
PetiteSheWolf
Well-known member
The emotional link we got with our pets is really such a strong one... I , and I am sure plenty of the pet-guardians here, will be on your side. Hugs, and Mademoiselle Luna settles in your virtual lap for a purr.
Congrats
PetiteSheWolf
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That /is/ an achievement, grats! Many persons don't hold to their training so long! Wow!
princess_sarena
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Priestess
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from
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"We both know that there are real monsters. But there’s also real heroes that fight monsters. And that’s me - Buffy"
That's amazing!!! Awesome job!!!
Louve Rose
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"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. (Nikos Kazantzakis)"
Congratulations !