Peri Menopause and Menopause Corner

[graoumia]

Hello Ladies, what about creating this discussion for us, who entered into menopause, are in peri menopause or are curious about it? On my side i am in peri menopause, i didn't notice it before, to me it was just aging, knee pains and so on.

 

[graoumia]

What i learned about perimenopause : nutrition and complements are important, mediterranean diet, and if needed, magnesium and others.
Rest and rejuvenation is important
Fitness is important

Since i am consuming more proteine, it helps. But i am experiencing bad nights, so i need to work on rest
I don't have too much hot flashs, and it came lately.
I am using collagen for my knees

Ladies, any tips or help request

 

[Saffity]

I'm not in it yet but I know it's coming. Definitely a good place to have to get prepared.

 

[graoumia]

Did you know ladies that 35 symptoms of perimenopause are officially recognized, and there are more then that again. And it can last more than 10 years.. Lucky us

 

[CODawn]

I am post and still dealing with hot flashes and other things.

 

[graoumia]

Did it decrease a bit ? I should test if i am menopaused after my 50th birthday next year, so i don't know. Do you consume tofu and other food made with soy? I think it is a kind of vegetal hormonal substitute or something like that, i am better when i don't skip tofu

 

[AquaMarie]

I have several symptoms (dry skin, hot flushes, weight gain), but the worst is the night sweats. Especially since I get nightmares when I get too hot while I'm sleeping. Needless to say, I do NOT sleep well these days. I'm looking into getting one of those cooling mattress toppers to see if it helps.

 

[NightWolf714]

Not quite there yet. My metamour is. She use to deal with terrible hot flashes but she started some sorta supplement or something that helped. I'll try to remember to ask her what helped her out.

 

[neilarey]

I’m in my second year of perimenopause, and wow - the first 6 months were brutal. I couldn’t sleep, had night sweats, and everything set me off (noise, light, people in general). The midsection weight gain also hit overnight, which was new for me - I normally gain weight evenly, so that was fun .

Once I realized what was happening, I made a lot of lifestyle changes. It took time and a lot of deliberate effort, but I managed to get rid of most of the symptoms. It’s not easy, but it is doable.

Sleep was the biggest game changer.

Over the past 3 months, I’ve completely turned it around. I did a short 2-week course of ashwagandha before bed, which helped initially. Now I go to bed early and get up at the same time every day - I'm in bed by 9PM, asleep by 9:30–10PM (audiobook timer helps), and naturally wake up at 5AM. My sleep score is consistently in the 80s–90s, and even when I only get ~5 hours (thanks, late-night K-dramas), the quality is still high.

Here’s a weird but wonderful tip: eating something cold - like a whole bag of frozen strawberries - at 7–8PM knocks me right out. I fall asleep faster and sleep deeper. No idea why, but it’s been magic for me. I bought popsicle molds online (plastic bags, not silicone ones) and I am making popsicles for before-bed now: blended watermellon, pomegranate juice etc. It's my latest obsession

Here are some of the lifestyle changes I made so far:

• I walk a lot - 12K steps is my bare minimum, and I aim for 20K when I can.
• My morning routine is now about an hour, including 10 minutes of resistance training.
• I take a liquid B-complex daily and pay close attention to nutrition.
• Summer sunshine helps too - I’m outside every day.
• I also built in regular breaks and solid routines to stay balanced.

I’m not saying every day is perfect - I still get tired and have off days - but it’s a completely different picture now. I feel calmer, more in control… borderline too relaxed these days (my mum’s visiting, so that’s not a bad thing!).

I just wanted to share in case it helps someone else. A full 180 is possible. It just takes time, consistency, and a lot of self-care.

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Just to say I like that thread I was maybe in pre-menopause, but not quite ; however I am getting it "chemically induced" with my breast cancer army of treatments. We'll see! And oh, ladies, watch out for your bones during that time of life too.

 

[Saffity]

I'm 43 this year, but I think having kids late/nursing may have staved off symptoms so far. That being said, when I was nursing I was a sweatball at night. Once I weaned in September though that stopped. I'm also using a hormone BC right now (There will NOT be a child 3, or there will likely not be a me anymore), so that might be affecting it too.

 

[Jaga]

Thank you, @graoumia , for this thread. I honestly thought I was just getting older—and that it was too early for me—but the more I connect the dots, the more I realize that I’ve actually started perimenopause.

It feels like I gain weight just by looking at a snack, and my mood swings more than a stormy sea. Sleep has become more difficult than usual, but I kept telling myself it was just stress and a busy work schedule. Sweating has always been an issue for me, but fatigue is new.

My regular workdays are physically active—I'm usually "running" from place to place and often rack up 10,000 steps before I even get home. But office/planning days hit me the hardest, because I hardly move at all—and I can really feel it. Those days just ruin my energy.

Ashwagandha in the evening is something I’ll definitely return to—thank you, @neilarey, for the reminder. I'm also trying to go to bed earlier, since my mornings usually start between 5:00 and 5:45 AM.

My recent blood test results were mostly fine, but my iron levels are too low (I'm vegan). I do a decent job maintaining my B-vitamin intake—I'm completely addicted to nutritional yeast (oh Mum, I love that taste!). But my vitamin D levels are way too low. Now that it’s late spring/ summer and the days are long—19+ hours of daylight, sometimes with lots of sun—that’s improving a bit (no wonder falling asleep is hard lately! but always was during the summertime).

 

[graoumia]

Welcome @Jaga i felt the same, went to a conference given by my job, to know more, and realize i was completely inside. I was using Ashwagandha powder, until i got covid, and it was too painfull to take it, i should try it again. thanks

 

[graoumia]

regarding bones health, i consider that eating a lot of vegetal foods, and doing fitness is good for them. My grand-mother took hormons during years to prevent osteoporosis (that what she said, my mother was sayng it was for not getting old... ) . Maybe once in menopause this is something that i will have to consider. On my last radio, my doctor said my bones were strong, but i know it can evolve

 

[melm]

Thank you for this page! I’m well post-meno, and think I had every known symptom! After the 10, yes TEN!, years of hot flashes, things seem to have settled down somewhat. I’ve been following Dr. Mary Claire Haver, Dr. Vinda Wright, Dr. Kelly Casperson,and other experts. There is are so many menopause advocates now and so much information. I’m on HRT, increasing protein and fiber, and using weights. I focused so much on cardio in my years when I should have tried to be strong. Never too late!

 

[Tracy- Menopause Doula]

Hello everyone! I am so happy to find this forum! I am a Perimenopause Coach and Menopause Doula. I share Darebee resources frequently to all of my clients and happy to join this forum to support one another. How is everyone doing managing their wellbeing!?

 

[skudi]

Menopause hit me from nowhere like a surprise -no warning signs before at age 48 I stopped menstruating once for ever and immediately had hot flushes and couldn't sleep. I was always active and vegan for 14 years so I was eating pretty much soy products but it was not enough. Which disappointed me. I have started HRT 4 months later and it did miracle for me. I hope to be on it as long as possible.

 

[Carola]

Did you know ladies that 35 symptoms of perimenopause are officially recognized, and there are more then that again. And it can last more than 10 years.. Lucky us

Hi everyone. I'm in this pase but I have many health issue that makes me feel confusing. I have total tyroidectomy so I depend of a pill for living (levotryroxin). I have knee arthritis and I have endometriosis. So, this year I have so many strange changes that despite I tried to exercise, the pelvic pain stops me and this makes that I can't make exercise, and I feel so exhausted and with su much muscle pain everyday that I'm not sure if the effort really compensates the wellbeing. I'm taking supplements and had change totally my diet but, I can't see that it really improved muy health.

 

[Anek]

I didn't know about tofu being good for this, too! I haven't noticed many symptoms yet, despite being in the right age for them to begin. Maybe the amount of tofu I'm eating is helping

I attended a talk about menopause in summer and I was shocked by the amount of psychological issues that come with it. I was only thinking of hot flashes and mood swings but apparently memory and emotional issues are a big thing too. What a fun time ahead.

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Tofu's nice, and the phyto-oestrogens in it can be good, but also can be bad if you have an history of breast cancer in your family, just as a small caveat.

 

[graoumia]

What a fun time ahead.

I confirm

 

[Fanta]

Joint issues --- here is a fact about joints you may want to look into:

Bones and joints can become insulin resistant.Joints need to make a fluid to stay "greased". The cells making this fluid are poorly vascularized (low access to oxygen). They thus rely on non-oxidative glycolysis (i.e. use a lot of glucose), and if they become insulin resistant, their access to glucose is compromised. So the joint is compromised.

I'm watching "Metabolic Classroom" episodes on youtube by Dr. Benjamin Bikman, the above is from #24.

Dropping this one here in case it helps anyone: episode #108 Menopause, Ketones, and Metabolism: A Strategy Explained with Dr. Ben Bikman ->

I had what I suspect is endometriosis and an osteopath helped me solve those pains that occured relentlessly on day 4 of my period, in my back at the torso level... Super weird location for pain... And going back to a keto diet killed all the uterus/lower back pain for me (they had disappeared after 10 months when I went keto in 2018, I stopped keto for a year and pain came back after 8 months... Had to go back to keto since it was NOT worth it! but started having different pains in upper back from a suspected endometriosis effect, no official diagnosis though).

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

@graoumia this thread is a great idea! Thank you for starting it!

I am, I think, 6 years post-menopause now. (Somewhere around there.)

I was lucky to sail through menopause with zero hot flashes and zero night sweats.
My main perimenopausal symptoms were:

• Wildly irregular menses. A good 10 years before menopause I once had a period that lasted for one day, followed by a week of nothing, followed by another period that lasted for 17 days. My final two periods were a full 12 months apart. The years in-between mostly saw cycles of anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks, but thankfully no more super long ones like the 17-day whopper.
• Inability to sleep through the night without getting up to pee. This started 8 or 9 years pre-menopause and persists to this day. I had a UTI once when I was ~ 40 during which I felt the urge to urinate constantly and could not last more than 30 minutes without relieving it. At night I had to pee and then immediately go to bed, hoping I'd fall asleep before the urge to pee again became unbearable. Even when I did manage to fall asleep I could only last for 2-3 hours before being re-awakened by the urge. Fortunately I was able to clear up the UTI with three days of drinking a litre of cranberry juice a day (a litre of straight juice, not the watered-down, sugared-up cranberry beverages common on the market), but I never regained the ability to sleep through the night without peeing. Fortunately, since that infection cleared up, I've only needed to pee once during each night, and I fall back asleep again afterwards quickly.

New symptoms post-menopause have been:

• No more over-lubrication. I used to need to wear a panty-liner 365 days a year to keep my underwear dry. I don't need to do this anymore.
• Fragile skin in a specific sensitive location. I need to wipe gently these days because urine stings if it touches flesh not adequately protected by a healthy layer of skin.

I've been dealing with some other things these days which are commonly attributed to menopause: weight gain, physical and mental fatigue. But in my case I think these issues are more attributable to external factors rather than hormones. Since I hit menopause I have lived through:

• the Covid-19 pandemic
• the last two years of my father's life, during which time he was desperately ill, completely physically dependent upon me, my mother, and other caregivers (when they were available), and increasingly mentally unsound; and the healthcare he needed was even more difficult to acquire than previously due to the strain Covid-19 put on our healthcare system
• the death of my dog, Trudy
• the death of my father
• my mother experiencing a catastrophic brain injury which rendered her non compos mentis and resulted in her power of attorney:
  • evicting me from my home in a callous and ugly way, which was extremely stressful and very nearly rendered me homeless
  • taking from me the car my mother had promised to give to me
  • cutting off financial support for Shelby, the now-senior dog who my mother and I had adopted together
• the most stressful housing move I have done in my life (and I've done a lot of them!)
• the loss of central air conditioning in a year in which my area experienced one of the hottest summers on record
• a decision made by US voters in November 2024 which has had and will continue to have far-reaching negative consequences for the entire planet

To say that my post-menopausal life has been, and continues to be, stressful, is an understatement! I now live with financial and housing insecurity (which may soon become much worse thanks to a decision made by Ontario voters in February 2025), and significant worries about the future survivability of our species on this planet. My physical and mental health are actually both pretty great right now, considering the amount of stress I'm living under. So I'm not prepared to blame menopause for weight gain or fatigue just yet.

Now that summer's heat is finally behind us, I am able to work out more, keep to a more regular sleep schedule, and have more options for healthful eating. All of these things have reduced my fatigue levels and are helping me to get my weight back in check. If I'm careful about not eating or drinking late in the evening, I sometimes even make it through the night without needing to pee. I've also made significant progress towards rebuilding my community here in London, which is helpful all around.

I've also been having some issues with maintaining my iron stores lately. But this is not new to menopause. I've been anaemic or borderline anaemic since high school, and my recent low ferritin score could easily be attributable to poor diet as of late. I have been eating more iron-rich foods over the past couple of months, however, and I don't feel anaemic. I'll get my blood tested again soon, and we'll see how I'm doing.

 

[AquaMarie]

So many of my fibromyalgia and peri-menopause symptoms overlap; I never know how best to treat them! Like, my sleep is terrible: half the time I'm up because muscle pain has woken me up (fibromyalgia), and the other half it's because of the bladder and/or night sweats (peri-meno). So do I take pain relievers before bed, or meds for the sweats, or both? Or is there one treatment that will help with both causes? I'm going to start looking for a menopause specialist soon to help me figure out how to coordinate my treatments.

Also, something that might interest the readers of this thread: Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause by Jancee Dunn is an excellent book about peri-menopause and menopause. She describes a lot of the research and treatment options out there, and she lists tons of resources, everything from doctors and reputable websites to Insta and TikTok videos. It was a very easy, fast read (she explains things really clearly and well), and I loved her sense of humor.

Have a good one, Bees!

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Hmmm, may be looking for that book!

 

[skudi]

Related to age and menopause:
I am 51 and was diagnosed with osteopenia (the very early stage of osteoporosis). Since it is often mentioned that bone density decreases drastically after menopause, I decided to monitor mine year after year. To my delight, my bone density in the spine slightly increased after a year!

I credit strength training and Darebee for this progress Yay for hops and squats

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

That is excellent news @skudi ! Great work on achieving that!

I believe the science is well-established that, yes, weight-bearing activities are key to maintaining bone density post-menopause.

 

[graoumia]

Related to age and menopause:
I am 51 and was diagnosed with osteopenia (the very early stage of osteoporosis). Since it is often mentioned that bone density decreases drastically after menopause, I decided to monitor mine year after year. To my delight, my bone density in the spine slightly increased after a year!

I credit strength training and Darebee for this progress Yay for hops and squats

You can credit your hard work with Darebee, congratulations, it is fantastic

 

[FinallyMeRB]

Hi everyone. I'm in this pase but I have many health issue that makes me feel confusing. I have total tyroidectomy so I depend of a pill for living (levotryroxin). I have knee arthritis and I have endometriosis. So, this year I have so many strange changes that despite I tried to exercise, the pelvic pain stops me and this makes that I can't make exercise, and I feel so exhausted and with su much muscle pain everyday that I'm not sure if the effort really compensates the wellbeing. I'm taking supplements and had change totally my diet but, I can't see that it really improved muy health.

Carola, I have hypothyroidism and also take medication. I'd like to share something my doctor taught me about levothyroxin that may help you.

I was on levothyroxin for several years and kept complaining to my endocrinologist that I didn't feel any better despite lab results being within normal limits. When I found a new primary care physician and started talking to her about it, she told me that levothyroxin has been the standard of care for decades for issues like ours. However, the body can't actually use it due to its synthetic nature. It stays in the bloodstream which looks good on the blood work, but it isn't being helpful at the cellular level. She switched me to Naturally Produced (NP) Thyroid hormone, and I've progressively gotten better and better the longer I've been on it.

If you're experiencing joint pain, please also look into Vit D levels and ferritin. I was experiencing full body tenderness, joint pain, and fatigue/muscle fatigue. Both of those levels were low and supplementation has really helped.

 

[Gilraen]

I'm 35 and went into artificial menopause due to chemo drugs. Had the worst night sweats, hot flashes, joint pain, and mood changes. Luckily, everything is back to normal now — I got my period again. But just thinking that in a few years I’ll be going through all of this again when natural menopause comes makes me so anxious.

 

[Jaga]

Alright, I’m coming back to the topic — I need to have a little rant. A new symptom has shown up, veeeery annoying. Actually, two.

I’ve noticed that before my period I could eat an entire elephant, hooves and all (ok, I'm a vegan, but an elephant is big enough, and it doesn’t even have to be a chocolate one). Second, my periods have started living a life of their own — meaning they show up whenever they feel like it. I’ve had short cycles before, but come on… not fifteen-day ones…

 

[Damer]

Every bit of current research we have on peri-menopause and menopause suggests that symptoms can be significantly mediated through three different things: Exercise (and each person's level and type of exercise is different here but they all feature a mix of some resistance training and some aerobic work but never exclusively one or the other), diet - reduction in inflammatory foods and an increase in tofu-based food products and quality sleep. There are a lot of complexities within this simple formula but in broad strokes this is what it takes. I hope this is of some help.

 

[AquaMarie]

Oh, lordy, I'm doomed, then. I have fibromyalgia on top of perimenopause symptoms. Fibromyalgia is notorious for causing poor, non-restorative sleep, and there's evidence (and personal experience) showing that glutamate, which is found in soy products, can aggravate fibromyalgia pain.

At least I can still exercise, as long as I stick to LIIT and low-impact workouts. That helps my sleep quality a lot, as do the magnesium supplements. I'm trying to find good Mediterranean style dishes to incorporate into my diet, too, to replace some of the more inflammatory foods. I'm not quite willing to give up on sugar or wheat, but I can cut down a bit as long as I have tasty recipes to replace those sandwiches and cupcakes with.

Anybody want to swap recipes? I've got lots of good tofu and Japanese dishes I'll trade for Mediterranean dishes.

Hang in there, Bees!

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

@AquaMarie I ate probably zero (or certainly close to zero) tofu when I was in perimenopause (I was cooking for my father at the time, and he balked at any meal that didn't contain an actual meat product) and ate wheat products every single day, and I was 100% fine. I experienced zero perimenopausal symptoms whatsoever other than irregular periods. Of course, I did exercise every single day--including a lot of walking, and bodyweight strength training work in the form of yoga. And I slept 8 hours a night.

I don't think you're doomed. You just have to find a protocol that works for you in your particular circumstances.

 

[AceofSwords]

I'm on the other side and I do not miss menstruating one bit! I did it without using supplements other than an occasional multi-vitamin. I'd had a huge problem with anemia that "magically" went away now that I'm no longer bleeding on a regular basis. I earned a black belt in Haidong Gumdo while in perimenopause.

My advice is to do strength training so you keep your muscle mass as long as possible and to control your cholesterol with food choices. Three cheers for the Mediterranean diet and similar! My doctor gave me info about that when it turned out I can't take statins. I'm down 30 pounds and still doing daily pull-ups.

I got another year of once every three months or so of super light periods after I thought I was done. One and a half years without one, and then surprise! There is very little research I could find about how long without a period is normal. The assumption is one year, but that's a nice round number without studies to back that up (that I could find - if someone has more info, I'd love to see it. Medical researchers have done a poor job of including women in studies.)

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

The assumption is one year, but that's a nice round number without studies to back that up

Yup. The stat thrown around here is also 12 months with no period = menopause. But my final two periods were a full 12 months apart.

 

[kira.jane]

so much good info here, thank you ladies (and others who support people who go through this change). I am always confused by perimenopause and menopause because what will it be like for me, I have RAGING PCOS so NOTHING has ever been "normal" or "typical" for my female body....without IUD I would bleed for months, and then not for years, insulin resistance is real, the pain of infertility and the bearded lady...I could have been her back in the day so I from time to time wonder what will this next stage bring me? This whole being a girl from 11-now (41) has been rough....any one know of research or lived experience with menopause with PCOS?

 

[neilarey]

I am 40, in perimenopause, and I have PCOS and endometriosis @kira.jane
It absolutely sucks. The amount of extra work you have to put in just to feel semi normal is absolutely ridiculous. It's like a full time job at this point. Every now and then I hit "WTF, I am so tired of this" But what's the alternative? To give up? I tried that, it doesn't make it any better and I feel even worse. So... I carry on

I do want to underline that, even though the absolutely ridiculous amount of work is absolutely ridiculous, it does work. It does make it possible to feel better, to even feel good and have many good days.

My two cents

 

[Janet LP]

This is an awesome thread, thank you everyone! I have PCOS and am in perimenopause @kira.jane so I feel you! I could grow a goatee if i didn't constantly pluck! I don't have endometriosis @neilarey but my wife had it, so wow, thats a lot! She had a full hysterectomy in her early 30's because of it, so she's been in menopause a long time! She still gets hot flashes! I have been on hormones for a couple of months now, and I found that they have really helped my mental health. Its at least freed up a little mental energy to try to take care of myself. I am hoping excercise will also help out, especially as i deal with other health issues. Fun times, lol! But at least I am on the right side of the sod, so to speak. So I am hopeful things will get better!!

 

[kira.jane]

I am 40, in perimenopause, and I have PCOS and endometriosis @kira.jane
It absolutely sucks. The amount of extra work you have to put in just to feel semi normal is absolutely ridiculous. It's like a full time job at this point. Every now and then I hit "WTF, I am so tired of this" But what's the alternative? To give up? I tried that, it doesn't make it any better and I feel even worse. So... I carry on

I do want to underline that, even though the absolutely ridiculous amount of work is absolutely ridiculous, it does work. It does make it possible to feel better, to even feel good and have many good days.

My two cents

amount of work, do you mean working out? just checking!

 

[neilarey]

amount of work, do you mean working out? just checking!

Working out - yes, a lot (strength training, circuit training and walking 60+ min daily), but also:
2. managing my energy throughout the day - taking mandatory breaks and time outs; Exhausted body can't cope with anything.
3. managing my sleep - I go to bed at 9PM, asleep by 10PM and wake up at 5AM, every single day;
4. managing my diet - getting enough protein, fiber, polyphenols etc. I take several supplements like a multivitamin, creatine, Vitamin D3 & K2, Omegas in the morning and magnesium and zinc before bed.

The four are basically the four pillars that are all equally important - at least to me. I spent a whole year creating and slowly perfecting a routine that would work for me, my life, my family and my work schedule. When perimenopause just hit me I couldn't sleep at all, I would wake up all the time and then I couldn't fall asleep. It was awful. I now sleep like a corpse and wake up without an alarm exactly when my body is ready to be awake. I aim to get 110-120g of protein every day depending on my current goals (sometimes I go to 150g), I have a morning routine that is about 90 minutes long (it helps that I wake up at 5AM). Half of it is light exercises, strength training and the rest is mostly self care like massage and lymphatic drainage, balance and coordination, breathing exercises and gratitude practice (highly underrated).

I try to get everything done as early as possible in the beginning of the day so I then don't have to worry about it. It is a lot of extra work but at least once I am done, I am done and I am good for the next 24 hours

Since no one else was coming to save me, I had to save myself

I hope this helps at all

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Since no one else was coming to save me, I had to save myself

I really like that - not in the sense "boohoo no one cares about me", but in the sense that I am responsible for myself and the one who knows my body best. So I am the one who's in charge of taking care of keeping this weird shell of mine in working shape, through menopause and in my case breast cancer treatments.