The Birth of Red Hood

jasontodd427

Member
None Posts: 18
Hey everyone, I used to be on the old forums and I know I had a couple logs, but I’m just gonna start fresh at this point since a lot has changed.

Reason I chose this name is because I have compared to Jason Todd numerous times which I’m kinda okay with since he is a cool character but at the same time it’s unnerving since he’s a character who died and was brought back to life.

For those who don’t know me from the old forums, I have ulcerative colitis which I have been struggling with for the past two years and I’m currently trying my 5th or 6th medication (I don’t even know at this point, I’ve been on a lot and none of them have worked thus far). A lot of family members also believe I struggle with depression or anxiety (don’t really want to know, have been on an antidepressant since the old forums and felt like crap so I stopped taking it). I’ve been trying to keep my head up high but the one root with that that I had is gone (my now ex, believe I was still dating her at the time of the old forums). She had actually helped me feel normal despite the ulcerative colitis and the failed medications, constantly talked about moving in together after I graduate college, getting married, etc. (I know seems kinda dumb for someone like me huh?) But she went out of state for an activity she was participating in and dumped me over text while I was at work the day she left which I found odd considering the prior info and the fact that we’d spent the night before together and everything was fine (I know you guys don’t really care but it’s been something that has been on my mind throughout the past year, now it comes occasionally, almost triggered if anything, like at work yesterday these trainees asked how my girlfriend puts up with me, which I don’t and I told them, but for some reason she popped into mind immediately). But yeah, looking to hopefully get back into working out soon.
 

Fremen

Well-known member
Mercenary from Italy
Posts: 1,028
"“Keep an eye on the staircases. They like to change.” Percy Weasley, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone."
Welcome to the New Hive :)
 

jasontodd427

Member
None Posts: 18
Hey all, know been a while, just finished another semester of school but I made some realizations during this past month and wouldn’t mind some help/guidance in attaining these things

1. I really need to start working on my mental state. Need to get past some of my issues such as trust, abandonment, and really beginning to appreciate myself. (Honestly can’t find anything about myself; pretty average, maybe slightly below if anything but someone recently saw a lot of value in me and I wanna see what they do.)

2. I also need to start discovering myself, feel like so many people have themselves put together and know their interests and such, but I don’t really fit into that. I know a few people have suggested trying songwriting which sounds intriguing but I would say I’m not a very creative person.

3. Definitely need to get back into fitness, sick of being super skinny, but it’s also kind of rough to get enough calories with my ulcerative colitis, but I do know I could at least tone some, but some additional size would be nice as well.

Sorry for the long post, and I know I kinda sidetracked from the main goal of this site, but wanted to lay it all out for the people who decided to follow my journey. Also wanna drop the Jason Todd/Red Hood thing, so any suggestions would be appreciated in that topic as well.
 

jasontodd427

Member
None Posts: 18
Day 2:
Square One: Days 5 & 6, Level 3
Daily Push-ups Day 3

Day 3:
Didn’t really do anything workout wise as I had a 12 hour shift and we got a truck shipment so I had to lift and move a lot of stuff around from that but my legs also still feel shot from Day 1. I did begin making my own diet plan though so it was an entirely unproductive day
 

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 470
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
Hi and welcome back, I think I remember you from the last Hive. Name doesn't come to mind, but there's an avatar I remember... Some guy with a brown leather jacket on a dark background, I think. Sam... SamFlynn? Something like this?
Good to read that you're still there and figuring things out, despite your struggles.
Don't feel bad about posting some mental stuff, thoughts, or worries. I feel that the Hive's a place for this, too.
 

jasontodd427

Member
None Posts: 18
Hi and welcome back, I think I remember you from the last Hive. Name doesn't come to mind, but there's an avatar I remember... Some guy with a brown leather jacket on a dark background, I think. Sam... SamFlynn? Something like this?
Good to read that you're still there and figuring things out, despite your struggles.
Don't feel bad about posting some mental stuff, thoughts, or worries. I feel that the Hive's a place for this, too.
Yes that was me
 

TopNotch

Well-known member
Ranger from Australia
Posts: 683
"Motivation is temporary. Discipline is forever."
Discovering yourself is a really cool thing to do. But it can take a long time. Those people whom you reckon have themselves sorted, they probably don't but even so you're not them, so don't compare. You do you. Chances are, they don't consider themselves put together. We're all works-in-progress that continue (or should) until the very end. Doing something relatively simple, such as determining what you do and don't like, what your interests are or have been, and where you'd like to be in the very near future (so not a fan of that question: "where do you see yourself in five years' time?"!) can be illuminating and helpful as a first step. What would you like to be doing/able to do by this time next month? Start small and work your way bigger. I'm constantly making new plans - some fail at first contact with the enemy, others get abandoned, some actually are seen through to fruition. Things change. One trick is to learn how to change with them. At your age, you're probably going to be doing a lot of changing and that's great.
The Hive is all about fitness. This isn't solely physical fitness, but also mental and emotional fitness. Don't worry about venting/purging/lamenting/whatever - this is a safe space for all that sort of stuff.
 
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