The Paragon Path Towards An Epic Destiny

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

Congratulations on completing the Standing Abs Challenge!

Cheers for the water (finally)!

 

[Syrius]

Congrats on Standing Abs!!

 

[Sólveig]

@Anek @Mamatigerj @Laura Rainbow Dragon @Syrius Thank you!

---

Okay, things started to improve. First of all, hey! I'm on a Watch! While I'm still pending on delivering a short story, I ended up writing it and spending most of the day writing. Look, I'll say it right now: this was not me at my best. This was me at my normal, and I managed to deliver 2510 words! Yes, the majority of them for the short story, whereas the rest was for the phone project, and the 365 challenge, which was largely an afterthought today.

I am giving myself a pat on the back for this one. None of it was on the computer. 20 minutes on my phone, and then 23 minutes, 31 minutes, and 39 minutes respectively for writing on my notepad. This is, by far, one day that just made me rework my plans right now. As I can see at this moment, my book should be slowly cooked. Giving it 30 minutes daily rather than 2 hours might be the best approach to start the momentum going while I focus on putting big time on my short stories and building back up my platform from the ground up. I know that eventually I'll end up with something. Why? Because I'm at 8K on my phone project. With an average of 275 words daily for it, I can churn roughly 1925 words weekly; just between 7 to 8 pages, give or take. Three months in, and that'll reach to 23K. It's just a math problem, but then again, I'm using my phone wordcount. For handwriting I've got:

498 words in 23 minutes for the 365 challenge, but this count fluctuates quite a lot depending on time and how I perform during the session.
696 words in 31 minutes for the first writing session for my short story.
772 words in 39 minutes for the second writing session for my short story.

There are others that I've put here for the 365 challenge to do more math and see how I can tackle this with time pressure, because really, using the thing that makes me weak (time) as a weapon forces me to do things, whether it is through a stopwatch or a timer that counts down. Can I beat the clock?

Like I said, writing is neither a marathon nor a sprint. It is a f*cking HIIT workout.

Speaking of HIIT, I'm putting Extreme HIIT on the list. I realized that I can't do HIIT workouts at the moment not because I don't have time (seriously, that excuse doesn't work with HIIT), but because my time fluctuated quite a lot this month. Things are too chaotic, so I'm just living under the chaos, especially with time blindness because I'll have to stop denying it: that's a symptom that my ADHD has, but thankfully I learned how to be punctual by having an extremely punctual parent, so I'm punctual for commitments with other people, but not with myself. Man, I really am an asshole to myself. That has to change. I want to have a better relationship with myself. It starts with writing for me, I suppose. And, of course, actually commiting to a time for doing the workout rather than just the Burpees.

300 Burpees today. I pushed myself a bit more because I saw that the DD was 10+ Push-ups, and I just... I mean, I just said "f*ck it" and did 100 for the DD. That little plus symbol is annoying me, and it annoys me to see it in many workouts. It's like a little gremling telling me "what? You think you're too strong and 5 or 10 reps is not enough? I bet you won't ever come far than double of the reps I'm marking here, or even triple the reps," and I'm like "watch me, bro!"

This has to be the most ADHD entry I've ever written in this log. I don't give a damn about it! I had the most ADHD day today, and I had a blast by doing so.

January 31st, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 10+ Push-ups (did 100) +EC
Count: 1737 - 1733 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
20 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 10 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 498 words in 23 minutes! (45/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
2510 words in 113 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 21%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[NancyTree]

Congrats on standing abs!
And glad there's water again!

 

[Sólveig]

Thank you! @NancyTree

---

Watch report: 585 words in 25 minutes. The short story ended with those words. I knew it. I knew as soon as I left it off where I did the story will end in just two pages. Everything has been transcribed for a draft of 2055 words, done in over a little of 1 hour. When the sun's back up I'll start editing and send it immediately online, and then decide whether to pick up a draft from last year, or finish my current work, or just churn out something quick. After all, I switched my focus to short stories for now. Not sure if I'll work on my book because I have a meeting in the middle of the afternoon, but whatever. Finished one story, all it needs is some polishing, and I already know what it needs after transcribing it.

 

[Sólveig]

Things went sideways today. Had one hilarious interaction in a forum that I'm thankful for. Sure, I pretty much earned an enemy, but that was more of a lesson of applying the "Hemingway who?" tactic that Mickey Spillane did. It also showed me that I'm on the right track of life because, by pure nature, I'm rebellious, even among rebels themselves, and I'm fully aware of it, to the point that I made it my entire mission in life. I'm not here to please everyone, and being hated by everyone is far less stressful than trying to befriend anyone because, let's face it, after the sh*t I went through, and the stuff that I write, who wouldn't love to hate me? I know my past self despises me for even being a transgender woman, but that's someone who's been conditioned to think that way.

Then, ironically, went to another community that is more along my goals and one thread filled with authors discussing what quality is, and even complaining that awful writing comes on top while the good stuff doesn't showed me exactly what the game is all about, and I keep reading a book since many years ago that has all the tricks I need to cheat on that game. I kept my mouth shut because, as someone posted, all posts there were starting to feel like novellas by the amount of writing people poured into it. The path to success is getting clearer now, and while I have to post as soon as possible, I can take a couple of weeks to study everything, like a thief casing the joint before the heist. I already have a couple of hypothesis, plus now I know the type of public that flocks to the site.

Does this means that I must quit my project? No, actually. It only means I must tweak my recipe for burguers. At the end of the day, what succeeds here is pulp fiction, not amazing prose, and it just so happens that pulp fiction is the perfect venue for transgressive literature. That's how it garnered the reputation of pushing boundaries back in the day, and comic books learned from that too. The other mistake I noticed is that authors are chasing an algorithm. I fell to that trap once. I did not like it. It's what drove me into many hiatuses in the first place, and what triggered my perfectionism to the highest degree.

Did not have time to work out today. Barely had time to write. This is not a Watch. It's 1 AM, and I haven't finished editing my story. Besides, D&D got confirmed, with alternate characters involved. Overall a challenging day, but it was worth it just for the sake of finally not being a people pleaser for the first time in my life in such an extreme level. And you know what? It feels really empowering to have someone who's starting to hate me, for once. It means I am doing something good. I apologize for what I'm about to say, but Lady Gaga said it best: the Internet is a toilet. People online can come over and suck my big feminine d*ck because I am finally breaking through the chains of people pleasing and starting to do something by myself, for myself, and I am willing to succeed on it, even if the entire world relentlessly makes sure that I don't. Maybe I did 50 Burpees instead of 300. Maybe I wrote 2K instead of 2.5K, but right now, I can finally see a success in the horizon.

"You had nobody anyway, motherf*cker." David Goggins.

I am so driven right now...

February 1st, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 50 Butt Kicks +EC
Count: 1738 - 1734 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 498 words in 29 minutes! (46/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
2129 words in 96 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 21%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

There's no time for me to actually edit. I'll put my stats for the week once I do them tomorrow. I spent this time journaling for today, and it ended with a Goggins quotation that I put above. I'd like to share some of my insights.

What happened today about being involved in so many disagreements was part of my Road of Trials. It was a Trial that had nothing to do with my objectives, but at the same time, it was a Trial that showed me where my next destination is, and it was a Trial that broke the people-pleasing armor that I've donned for so long. Having disagreements on business, it's fine, I don't take that personal. In fact, I started to take them less and less personal, to the point that I split both my professional life from my personal point of view. In fact, I was thankful for that disagreement, because it showed a common ground where we finally saw a path to solve a problem. In disagreements, there's always solutions.

Of course, not everything ends good. Funny enough, in my case, it was all good. Having a disagreement to the point that I was unjustified hated by someone? It was perfect. I freaking loved that to happen to me because, as I said before, it showed me I'm on the right path. The viewpoint that I have is edgy, is dissident, it goes completely against everything that people follow. In a world that is so polarized, not picking a side is the true act of rebellion, and I chose neither. Instead, I'm forging my own path, and I can't believe it, but I'm finally seeing it so far in the horizon: the Abyss, the Apotheosis, the Ultimate Boon... It's so far up ahead, but it's there, and being hated just showed me where I must go. But why do I love this so much? As I said, it broke the people-pleasing armor I've donned. I got hated, so what? Do I need the validation of someone else? No! I know I'm not like other trans girls. I know I am as much of a polarizing dissident as Blaire White is. While I do not agree with the majority of things she says, the fact that I'm using the Hero's Journey as a framework to locate where I am in life and in my goals shows that I'm doing something that folks have tried so hard to destroy lately. The hate that I'm getting is because I'm building something that shatters many conceptions, not just through my writing, but through my actions.

Did I succeed on the Trial? I don't think I've won my battle against people-pleasing, but this minor Trial I shall consider it my first success on the Road of Trials. I broke the armor. I've earned a scar, and I gained new loot; a new armor, an armor that will protect me better than pleasing others. It's the armor of personal soverignty. I don't need validation from others. I have to validate myself. That's what passing is supposed to be! Is should never be about finding validation from others! It should be about validating yourself! It should be about looking at yourself in the mirror and say "I am the most fabulous woman alive!" with pride, even if you don't look like it at the moment! The more you validate yourself, the more steps you'll take to turn that into a reality! It never starts with what the others say,. It starts with you. You are the only thing that matters in your life, because the only person that is going to be with you until you die is yourself! So you better treat yourself good, and that's what I'm going to do coming forward. I should treat myself good... nah. I want to treat myself good.

I want to do Burpees for me. I want to write for me. I want to do things for me. I want to move on with my transition for me. I want to dance, to kickbox, to do all of it, for me. Not for future me, but for present me. All of my goals, from writing for a living, finding my tribe, destroying the status quo, finding love... all of it I want to do it for me.

If this is a victory, then because it is a victory that broke my people-pleasing armor, and gave me the personal sovereignty armor, I will consider this as my FIRST MAJOR VICTORY OF 2025! I am, finally, on the right path! Life can truly be as epic as fantasy can be!

 

[MadamMeow]

Congrats for Standing Abs!

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

I will consider this as my FIRST MAJOR VICTORY OF 2025! I am, finally, on the right path! Life can truly be as epic as fantasy can be!

Congratulations @Sólveig !

 

[Sólveig]

@MadamMeow @Laura Rainbow Dragon Thank you!

 

[Syrius]

If this is a victory, then because it is a victory that broke my people-pleasing armor, and gave me the personal sovereignty armor, I will consider this as my FIRST MAJOR VICTORY OF 2025! I am, finally, on the right path! Life can truly be as epic as fantasy can be!

You are inspiring and I love the way you phrase it personal sovereignty armor. Way to go on your victory!!

 

[Sólveig]

• Writing: 7 days, 9404 words
• Burpees: 7 days, 1020 Burpees
• 4 days of reading

---

An increase in words, but a minor dip in Burpees. While picking my phone project back up is inflating the number a bit, it actually worked to get me into the writing position, just as the challenge. I mean, I pulled off an entire short story in a small amount of time that, while I didn't have any time to edit fully so far, I'm halfway through it and closer to publish it than before. My book went into the slow cooker for a moment; I do want to get a few eyes into my stuff before I go full hard on the book. Doesn't mean I'll stop writing, it means I'm changing my priorities.

The dip in Burpees is... honestly, I think an issue for the week. I've been sleep deprived due to the water issues, which are still not there just yet, though my mom, the hero that she is, managed to get the tank full just last night.

Also, due to the little drama that I got involved in that community I talked about, the first thing that I did yesterday morning is to look for a mod and tell them to ban me for the entire month. I did so not because of the drama (I said what I said, I stand about what I said, and if people misunderstand what I say, then they can go straight to hell for all I care, I'm not here to be like "please, love me, I need the safety of your validation" anymore as if I'm a kid), but because I noticed my productivity dipped. I was actively participating in it while I was writing, to the point that I stopped writing at some point, which then I knew it was my ADHD being ADHD. So I did the Ulysses thing and tied myself to the mast. Once again, the rage is giving me a desire to write more and more... The only thing that I can say is that, what Marquis de Sade wrote in 120 Days of Sodom... I get it now. I really, really get it. That wasn't just a criticism of the powers of his time, but also the huge rage he had in him from being abused by the same powers he once was a part of. He exposed them all.

 

[Sólveig]

@Syrius Thank you! Stole the definition from Joe Rogan (he said it during a podcast with David Goggins), but the concept of self-ownership is not really new. It's one of the few things that both ends of the political spectrum seem to agree upon. I just took it as the opposite of people-pleasing because it has to stop. It needs to stop, really. Enough is enough.

---

D&D was impressive. Our DM truly pulled it off to make one session where our characters are now are at their darkest hour, and are even failing at everything. He really had a nasty twist up his sleeve that jumped on us in the wrong way, but as soon as he explained it through the session, it ended up being a major development for the entire story. Even having my backstory (which is the last one to resolve) being picked up with his Monk from the previous campaign coming back (he saved my character's life years before the campaign started, and my character has been looking for him almost obsessively since). and having him play him was incredibly fun for him, thus it was fun for us too, because we really loved that characters, and so did the dice: his first two attacks were both Natural 20s, and he even lifted the screen to show it to us. It was one hell of an amazing fight. Still, I reckon that my character wants to retire temporary since she lost her sense of purpose after being defeated in such way. I talked to the DM about giving her a break to also give my second character a chance since we used our secondary characters in this session. Having two Clerics in the party, while both are different domains (mine's Order, the other's Tempest) is making me feel like we are competing rather than cooperating, but with my Rogue instead (and, apparently, my dice love my Rogue because I think I only rolled below 10 five times over all the times I played with her, which was quite often due to her being used as an NPC a few times), to compensate for a few skills that we're lacking. Two Clerics, one focused on damage and the other on Social Interaction and Support, a Barbarian, and a Bard that's more about controlling the crowds through Enchantment spells rather than being a skill monkey can only go so far. Also, the Mastermind Rogue is quite underrated. I know it doesn't output as much DPR as other archetypes, but man is it useful.

As I stated in my report above, the water came last night, though again not much. I went to bed because I couldn't keep up anymore. I had a hard time trying to sleep Saturday night, and I was overall tired yesterday. My mom was the hero who stood up until 3 AM and managed to get the water, filling one tank at 100%. We're good for a week now.

February 2nd, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 30 Calf Raises +EC
Count: 1739 - 1735 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 541 words in 22 minutes! (47/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
541 words in 22 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 21%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

The entire afternoon without power. I took it as an opportunity to catch up on some sleep, read The 12 Week Year, and write on my phone. I wrote the 365 challenge at the tail end of the day. No Watch. i had some Internet issues, so I decided to play Super Metroid instead of working because the Internet issues were both annoying me and distracting me. While I still managed to pull out nearly 1K, I didn't get any progress. However, I don't think it's my fault. It was just a bad day. I mean, it was completely unexpected that the entire afternoon went without any power, but it wasn't a wasted day by any means.

If anything, it was a good day, overall. My mood might not have been the best. That always happens when the power goes out. Still, I did some work on the library by checking the inventory, which was far much more relaxing than I expected. I was pretty much on my own today at the non-profit; mom wasn't the only one who stood up late at night due to the water coming. Took stock of all the books in one row from one shelf, so I have two more rows, and another shelf that, now that I think about it, has a lot of books that must be rid off. These are laws, but laws constantly change, and many of these laws are laws that aren't of interest for the non-profit or the library as a whole. Again, since there's always a change in the laws, I see no point on hoarding them, so that space can be freed for more stock. I don't even know why I decided to keep them in the first place anymore. Yeah, keeping inventory of it was relaxing, if a bit tedious. I didn't put on music while I worked on it, else it would've been cooler.

I'll admit it: caring for books makes me feel like I'm home, even if these books aren't mine.

So yeah. Awful day due to the powercut, but I did do my best with what I had. Not so much on the way of progress, but I did survive. It's just a rocky start.

No Watch tonight. This isn't a Watch.

February 3rd, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 40 Bounces +EC
Count: 1740 - 1736 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
7 Full Burpees
Monday +EC
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Jumping Jacks | 16 Sit-ups | 4 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 438 words in 22 minutes! (48/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
931 words in 42 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 33%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Okay, things were my fault today. Lots of procrastination and pretending to be productive by doing the wrong work. On the other hand, an unique angle popped up for something epistolar... which is a recycling of a Cyberpunk story that never materialized fully, but I did do it before. Won't say what it is, but I think I can do an experiment by writing a single short message on a daily basis... kinda like small letters. This is just to figure out something that might actually help with everything. I do not mean NaNo, my book, or anything else, but I mean everything.

So I also made a scroll that contains rules. This is just a satire handbook that I'm making because I stumbled upon something that is also a satirical handbook at the library yesterday, and I thought about doing something similar because I have the chops. That's the wrong work I talked about. Nevertheless, I got kickstarted, so I can just write one rule daily, until it becomes a fully blown law, or handbook, or whatever... I know it's the beginning of something, but that's it. Right now I just finished the 365 challenge for today, and it's nearly 15 minutes before midnight at the time of writing, so I'm on point.

Needless to say is that I'm procrastinating quite a lot again, but I'll get to shift gears soon. Once I post, I'll go to bed. I had a very late dinner too, so no Watch. I'm going to go over the 12 Week Year again right now to make a note for my tomorrow self and then adjust my entire week accordingly. I'm dropping once again into the same patterns of last year, so I better snap out of it now, or else I won't advance at all. The ticking of the clock feels louder.

At least I got 310 Burpees done today. Why 310? Well, I aimed for 300, but the dice gave me 8, so I rounded up to 10. Blame the dice on this one, not me. My relationship with the DAREdice sometimes it feels like my relationship with my D20: sometimes I want to put them in jail... though my D20 loves my Rogue for some reason.

February 4th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 50 Punches +EC
Count: 1741 - 1737 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
2 Double Burpees
20 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC +Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-tuck
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Double Burpees
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 555 words in 24 minutes! (49/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
933 words in 46 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 33%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I had a very nasty surprise in the middle of my sleep. At 4 AM, my bedroom was broken into by my aunt. I didn't notice it until I heard the laundry basket getting hit and saw her on the floor. She fell, and had no idea why she was there in the first place, but to her credit, this woman has Alzheimer's. I helped her to get up and got her downstairs, but refused to sleep. It took me a while to sleep again. Again, I don't feel anything for her at all, not because mom and I struggle with caregiver stress, but because this was the woman who abused me when I was a kid, and even in the middle of her dementia, her narcissism sometimes shows. I'm not a fan of touching people or being touched, but when it comes to her, it's complete disgust, so you may imagine how disgusted I felt after helping her up. My elbows itched for the rest of the time I was in bed.

Anyway, I did write something last night, but that was for hobby. It accumulated. I couldn't focus today, but at least I had a class, carried on with my phone, and ended up doing something very endearing for the 365 challenge, so endearing that I ended up with a sentence that could be the title for an entire book about similar themes.

300 Burpees today. I picked up Easy Abs today too, just for the heck of it. The powercut today was short, and I did my walk early, so I had a good amount of time to do everything.

Also, yes, this is a Watch! My body double is currently online, so I'm going to have a nice promising editing session tonight. Every single time I see her online I always happen to notice how much I missed her? I don't know. Like, I know who are we talking about whenever I mention her, but I do love my writing procedure when it comes to body doubling. Yes, it's unique, it's strange, it's completely unorthodox, and it's quite extreme and actually pretty f*cking funny, but it works! It shouldn't, but it works, and I'm mad that it works. It's like I'm dunking an entire foot-long bread into a chocolate fountain, and then I put a chocolate bar inside it. Strangely enough, unlike that, it's healthier, which is only worse to the madness of it. Then again, I guess if one has to write what I write, one has to be prepared for things that life didn't prepare you for, especially in societies like the Venezuelan bible belt... which... sounds weird considering that my State is, yes, the Venezuelan midwest because it is in the middle of the western side (duh!), but considering the country is shaped like a rhino, and the Zulia happens to be the horn, I don't know what piece of clothing that makes the entire midwest. The headdress? Well, fitting, considering this is a Roman Catholic majority country.

February 5th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 10 Hop Heel Clicks +EC
Count: 1742 - 1738 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
20 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC
Easy Abs - LVL III +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 16 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 572 words in 2427 minutes! (50/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
1169 words in 49 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 33%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Here's a Watch report: I finished my short story. The only edit that's left is to delete a few things and proofread. I actually added one particular line that I'm very proud of. Like I said, working with these... let's say interesting body doubles work. I honestly wanted to spend just 30 minutes, but I got into it, and finished the entire thing in 56 minutes. I'll do the math tomorrow once it's clean and ready to be sent. For now, I am ready to write a new short story.

This one was fun to write. My first ever story written in a journaling format. Thank you, Payback.

 

[Sólveig]

My anxiety went into a DEFCON 2 level when I noticed five (and then turned into seven because a pair joined; one carrying a huge rifle) black cockroaches right in front of my house, at the other side of the street. I'm not talking about the bug, I'm talking about military; one part of the National Guard: the Antiextorsion and Kidnapping Command. At least that's what I figured out in their uniforms. Very specialized military forces always wear black here. FAES being the most recognizeable. What the hell were they doing standing on a corner for the entire day? It beat us all. They weren't stopping anyone, they weren't exactly doing Watch on someone, they just... stood there. They came out of a grey car, a civilian car with no plates, and a pair of pink motorcycles, which I guess it has to be a prank on them, like, who would use a pink motorcycle with an uniform that is supposed to make you less visible in the dark? A neighbor theorized they were "echando carro," which is slang for being lazy at work. I wouldn't be surprise if that was the case, or if they were extorting the local small businesses considering one of them came into one with an empty two-liter botle of orange soda, and came out with that bottle filled to the brim with water. Funny thing is that's the thing they left behind when they left: they littered the street by dropping the bottle. It's always the people in uniform who do the "rules for thee but not for me."

I did not work out today. It was a weird day with weird eating patterns, not good meals, and it got busy. At least I sent my story off, and got a new Vision for writing which, hopefully, makes it even more fun as I delve into it. Since Valentine's day is coming, I want to do something for it. I also did some journaling which then I realized I should've put the entry in one specific journal that I made for it. I'll transcribe that there tomorrow, so whatever. It's an opportunity to expand on that answer to my prompt because I feel like I fell short on it.

Anxiety is back at DEFCON 5. This is a Watch, but I'm not sure if I'll write or not. Just still going over the military standing almost at my doorstep, with one wielding the biggest rifle I've ever seen. The current status quo is peaceful, so either they were being lazy, or looking for someone. I just hope they weren't extorting the local businesses.

February 6th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 20 Plank Rotations +EC
Count: 1743 - 1739 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
WoD: (Wo)Man Down +EC
Push-up Party - LVL III +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 563 words in 25 minutes! (51/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
2425 words in 83 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 33%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Maegaranthelas]

No wonder you're having an anxiety-day, that sounds super stressful!

 

[Mamatigerj]

 

[Sólveig]

@Maegaranthelas They showed up again earlier today, a bit before noon. This time it was just two in a motorcycle, and they only seemed to have breakfast. It's still stressful. All of us trust actual criminals far much more than men in uniform, so it is stressful to see them, anywhere, even if they are just being lazy.

 

[Sólveig]

To my surprise, the story got approved. I thought I pushed the content guidelines a bit too much, but it'll be published on Sunday. That was the quickest approval I've seen on Lit$@!#/%&.

I'm also interested if I can do 50K in 48 hours. I'm not going to go 48 hours straight through because it's impossible due to my schedule, it's extremely severe, and the law of diminishing returns, but I figured I could spread those 48 hours through a timer that I'll pause whenever I end a session. A couple of new ideas popped up: a short story in the form of a letter, a Valentine's special, one thing I was plantsing that might be for such challenge, and a novella with an aesop. There's a fire in me lately, and I just want to write, so much so indeed that I want to turn writing into binge-watching Netflix. What I mean by that is to scrap the professionalism in it, and just churn out words for my own amusement. In my own streaming service, I am the creator, the director, and the writer, and I can do whatever pilot or show I want, and lead it as much as I want. The 365 challenge had me pantsing a lot, and it's starting to become more creative. After so many years without doing it, I wrote a Cyberpunk story for it yesterday, and today I went out of my comfort zone on it. The quality is crap, but interesting ideas are showing up, interesting themes, interesting stories that require more dedication.

A thread that was a shitpost in Lit$@!#/%& had a link to this. One part of the article drew my attention:

Warhol wanted to write a "bad" novel, "because doing something the wrong way always opens doors".

Which in turn reminded me of Struthless' video about The F*ckup Philosophy, which is an approach of doing something bad on purpose to murder perfectionism. However, is not perfectionism that got me thinking, but actually Warhol's reasoning: doing something the wrong way always opens doors.

Again, I wrote Cyberpunk yesterday, after so many years without writing Cyberpunk. It was a surprise, but also it was an interesting beginning for a story, even if I remove partially or fully the thing that I'm writing about for an entire year...

I don't know. Something's awakening. It was yesterday that I made the decision of pretty much consider writing as my Netflix, and even though I didn't write much today, I am seeing many open doors right now. I do have a task for tomorrow, which is related to writing. Also, the reason I didn't write much today was because yesterday's entry in my journal was a bit specialized for a journal that I have for those type of entries, so I transcribed it, and even added a few addendums in the form of footnotes, which reflect some insights that I've gained since writing that entry. I even explained that at the end of the entry, including the date I added them.

But yeah, something in me is waking up. I think it's the same passion that I had when I started. I mean, my 365 story for today I did it in 21 minutes, but my hand never stopped moving. I went in there really fast, I got in the flow state quickly, and I was determined to see it done. It didn't take me long to start because I forgot my starting line, froze for a moment, so I started, and once I started with the first line, I then wrote the opening line differently because it got back to me, and since then it was a trainwreck. A beautiful trainwreck because it ended up being one heck of an interesting story that one sheet of paper wasn't enough for it.

This is not a Watch. I had a late dinner, and instead of sleeping, I meditated on the quantum. These are tiny steps that I've taken, but they carry quite an impact. There was only one sentence that echoed during my meditation right at the end: "let the wildfires of your passion begin!"

I have a task for tomorrow. Not a Watch, but I may write that now.

February 7th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 197

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 30 Back Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1744 - 1740 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
20 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC
Easy Abs - LVL III +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Sit-ups +EC
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 519 words in 21 minutes! (52/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
834 words in 32 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 33%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Watch report? This isn't a Watch, really...

I did the task that was supposed to be for tomorrow. That task has a second part, but that'll actually happen tomorrow. Because it was a journal entry, I did not keep time or count the words. It's been years since a letter showed up in my journal. Second part is to turn it into a piece of fiction.

*sigh* The cat's out of the bag now. Yeah, I'm turning an open letter into a Trojan Horse because I genuinely believe there's a good story there, or at least an interesting one because this is a rather unique position life's put me in. I don't expect the recipient to read it, and even if they did, they would mark it off as another piece of fiction anyway. Doing this just for me.

 

[Sólveig]

I really need a beta reader for something personal. It's about my journal entry from yesterday. Not really about the content, but actually my style of writing. Thing is I wrote it in Spanish, while the story I'll do it in English. Again, I was more looking to vent rather than do something, but I can't help but feel I put something in there, as if it actually was meant for the recipient to read it. I just need a couple of eyes to see that and tell me their thoughts about it, like, am I better at writing letters than I thought or what? I can translate it to English.

In any case, I didn't write today, or at least something that wasn't a quota. What I had to do though is to cancel my story. I don't know why I never thought about using a TTS software to detect typos, and I did detect a few that passed over me, plus three words in a line that weren't actually needed. So I pulled back the story and sent it again, now it's waiting for approval. Damn you, typos!

I'm not sure whether I'll write during this Watch or not, because I want to spend it journaling, figuring out my goals to switch my environment to make writing my Netflix, and things to get into writing more often, whether it is for fun or for work. As I said before, I'm going through a very experimental phase on the 365 challenge, and today I wrote my entry like Henry Miller, which was an interesting way of writing. Really punchy, and it immediately turned transgressive, so much so that it felt like a vignette from one of the plenty ideas I have frozen. I think right now, my current priority, is set up my environment for success, so this week will be for it. Doesn't mean I'll stop writing, it means I'll seek more opportunities to write more often, and to keep reading as often as I'm doing.

Maybe I can translate the letter to English just to see if the language also makes any difference. Honestly, I don't feel like working. I feel like journaling. It's Sunday, and that means D&D day, so I can't do anything for the day... except the 365 challenge, which, also, I can do now. We'll see.

No Burpees. Instead, I spent that time fixing the story. Still, another impromptu kickboxing day. Those are always good.

February 8th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 20 Twist Lunges +EC
Count: 1745 - 1741 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
WoD: Blink - LVL III +EC
One Kick (Side Kick) - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 10 Sit-ups +EC
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 535 words in 26 minutes! (53/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
851 words in 36 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 35%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

• Writing: 7 days, 7684 words
• Burpees: 6 days, 1100 Burpees
• 4 days of reading

---

Hmm... I'm noticing that I'm doing more Burpees with one less day that with one more day. Interesting pattern. As for my weekly goals, well, I flunked in sending my story in time, but at least I sent it.

As I just finished journaling for the moment I realized that I only have three days to finish that epistolar fiction piece, so I better hurry up. That means I'll be doing the 365 challenge during the day for now, so right now I must write. Thankfully, because I did a fiction piece in the 365 challenge that was a letter, and I wrote on the margin that I wanted to do something like that, I have more places to start. I'll be reading those right now and I'll talk later on my Watch report. I only have three days. Can I beat the clock?

 

[Sólveig]

Watch report: I couldn't do sh*t. I mean, I did translate the things, and stuff, but I only wrote a single line, and I'm not sure whether it is perfectionism killing me, or is it that I need to write my things on paper to actually start writing. At least I did a line, which is better than nothing. I'm going to wake up earlier to transcribe the English translation into paper, plus the line that I wrote. I think this one will be better for me if I write it by hand, piecing the story together with both bits from my journal, the challenge, and what I want. I might actually need to do some stream of consciousness too and see what do I get from it because what I have right now is a sort of decision paralysis, or fatigue. Is not the lack of ideas that I have for this story, but too many ideas.

24 words is better than nothing though. However, I must go back to normal for now.

E: I ended up transcribing the letter on paper.

 

[Sólveig]

D&D day.

The plot really thickened. Things are starting to lean in our favor, and the Wizard from our first campaign finally showed up to save the day, find out that Disintegrate works... and then find out that it didn't. For more context, our DM explained that the BBEG has extra lives, something which he weaved into the story pretty good, so it wasn't an ass pull, but the funny part is the Wizard not knowing that and still being frustrated that he can't disintegrate people. For more context, he tried to one-shot a person in the previous campaign with Disintegrate, but the person passed the save and took all the damage. His reaction: priceless.

We don't know for how long we'll have him in our party because he... wasn't dead. Actually, during our epilogues, he failed working with a Soul Gem (if you played The Elder Scrolls you know what I'm talking about) seeking to attain immortality, and then he soul trapped himself into it. However, for some strange reason (because the DM wanted for each of our party members to make a cameo appearance in this campaign), when the Horn of Valhalla got blown by our Bard, the Wizard ended up appearing out of nowhere, alive and well. In Meta, we are still asking if the soul gem is going to claim him back or not, but since I spoiled a Pathfinder campaign before, the DM actually said last week that he'll have him vanish as soon as he is summoned during our first session from that campaign. A bit of a lore tangent: I got inspired by Faust Eric for that campaign, and had a teenage Thaumaturge summon the Wizard just like Eric summoned Rincewind.

Not a Watch. I spent the night taking the final notes of the session. Since my character will take a break, and my DM doesn't know what to work with on the background, I decided to get rid of it now that it's fresh in my mind and wrote everything. He doesn't know how long my character will vanish, I told him until he seems her fit to return, which can be after one or two sessions. As for in-game time, it can be how long he desires. After all, we're not tracking dates. I mean, I even write the session numbers, and today was the 20th. We're at 13th level, and by the looks of it, he may want us to reach 20th. Still, my Rogue is ready. There's two reasons for my character taking a break: first one is due to the events in the story that just made her so disappointed in herself that she seems lost, so I got inspired by the time in which Jesus went through the desert for 40 days. Considering the plot of my character is that she'll eventually ascend into godhood, I figured I could get inspired in tests as such, and I discussed them with the DM to see if he's on board, because he wants her to be a goddess too. The reason I'm writing them is to help him because he doesn't have any idea about what to do, so I'm building him a roadmap and I'll tell him whatever change he wants to make, to do so. After all, everything is going to happen in the background. I just don't want to do any rolls for her and tell him to let her automatically succeed just so that I don't have to switch back and forth, delay the story, and let my Rogue take her place for a while. The Rogue, being my Cleric's prophet, will put her immediately in trouble, which will open up a few threads for him to work on the following sessions, especially now that we found a traitor among our allies, and it was hidden within my Cleric's cult all along. This leads me to the second reason, which I previously mentioned: TWO CLERICS IN THE PARTY! I know Clerics are awesome, they are pretty f*cking overpowered in 5e, but the problem is that our party is not well balanced. My Cleric fit the role of being the social mediator, but so is the Bard with an extreme focus on Enchantment spells. My Cleric is supportive, but we also have supportive NPCs, and the Bard even managed to heal a character during a boss fight today. The other Cleric is focused mostly on damaging, using Tempest domain powers as much as he can, and our Barbarian is taking everything. I mean, the player broke the Barbarian: with a Shield, the Barbarian has 23 AC, and is already a sponge when it comes to HP. Order domain is cool for a Cleric, but I do a lot more focus on damage and environmental effects as well as social interaction instead of exploiting the whole thing about Order. I mean, many spells like Heroism are Touch range, and I had a good chance to place Heroism on three characters, but when they moved to attack (because I got last on Initiative), my strategy went to hell. With Rogue, however, I'll compensate for the lack of skills that's in the party. My Rogue is already built for social interaction being a Mastermind, but she's quite an infiltrator with a set of dice that really love her.

February 9th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 40 Balance Low Turning Kicks +EC
Count: 1746 - 1742 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled (why was there an EC here?)
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 580 words in 31 minutes! (54/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
580 words in 31 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 35%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Remember that forum I asked a ban from? Someone asked me personally what happened that I got banned. He then told me shit hit the fan, and pretty much the entire drama proved me right.

Lady Gaga is right: the Internet is a toilet, and I just witnessed the sh*t flushing itself.

I guess I won't be writing the thing that I want to write in time. There was a powercut, I slept too little last night, and I spent the powercut sleeping instead of writing. I did write on my phone and carried on with the challenge, punching up 1K today, but I nearly missed my workout, so I had to cut it due to time constraints. Good day when it comes to my mood, but overall, a very restrictive day. Hey 120 Burpees is still more than 100! I blame the dice for that one.

Not a Watch, again.

February 10th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 50 Arm Scissors +EC
Count: 1747 - 1743 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
7 Full Burpees
10 Full Burpees
Monday +EC
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Squats | 20 Full Burpees
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 537 words in 26 minutes! (55/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
1135 words in 46 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 35%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Okay, I need to fix my schedule again. Freaking water threw things off, and now I have things all over the place. It was a bad day in the house, but just in the house.

Once again, I didn't write, but I did find some motivation to write. I didn't read the whole thing. It's a challenge; a competition rather that is about putting out as much content as you possibly can on the site, going over all the categories. The organizer has done it before as a way to force themselves into experimenting and writing in other genres. While the idea is good, the amount of rules and system it has is really overwhelming to understand in a single go, but I can do something similar. I think I can integrate it with my BuJo too since it's just gamification and earning points for posting X amount of stories in Y categories. I'll read over the entire thing tomorrow.

Apparently the publishing glitched, so I resent my story to see if it gets published. As for the 365 challenge, I'm on Day 56, killed off my second notepad, and I'm noticing I'm going through a very experimental phase. I don't think I'll get bored of my subject, and I already found what I'm looking for last week, but here are the things I did not expect to write in all the 14 years I've been writing seriously:

• Two-page stories that are badly written, in paper, with black ink. Some are unfinished due to the fact that two pages aren't enough for them.
• Finding unexpected ideas for books and stories, including a character with an unexpected hobby that's core to the story.
• Finding myself upon realizing that my NaNo from 2024's protagonist is more like me than I thought.
• The story from above also ended up more as an art-house script for a music video.
• Writing a story that ended up more as a letter than a story.
• Writing a story through a microjournal entry, which then motivated me to write the story that I'm still waiting on it being published.
• Writing an entire story that was just dialogue.
• Suddenly returning to Cyberpunk for a day after six or seven years without writing Cyberpunk.
• Making a story that's more the beginning of a script for a movie that's just one long art-house music video. Think something like Drive or Baby Driver.
• Another story that's just a script for a short.

I'm no stranger to writing scripts. I wrote one before, just last year, but I've never written stories that are the seed of so many of them in such a short notice. I find it... I don't know. I just didn't expect to write scripts. I'm still remaining on the subject, but it stopped being about just writing short stories, as seen above, if I am framing the stories now through letters and journal entries. Quality is still the worst, but that's the whole point: I'm just churning words. Besides, the writing improves. I can actually see that. In fact, I feel less intimidated by having just two pages, and now, as I just sit on my pants after that first line and do the whole thing, immediately I start to see where to go with the pacing so that I end on page two. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, other times I both do and don't: I end up open-ended.

This challenge... wroked a whole lot better than I thought. What I wanted was to curve perfectionism. Now, it opened so many doors to me that... honestly, the world is my oyster, and I don't see this as something that will trigger decision paralysis. After all, everything that I've written for this started out as a short story. That I ended up doing something that works better for a different media is true, but at the core it starts with a story.

February 11th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 6+ (50) Raised Leg Push-ups +EC
Count: 1748 - 1744 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
20 Full Burpees
WoD: Power Circuit - LVL III +EC +30 Seconds Rest
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 552 words in 26 minutes! (56/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
552 words in 26 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 35%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Story will be published on Valentine's day out of all days... It was a glitch, so now it's just waiting for publishing since it's approved.

Today was a very boring day. I had plenty of opportunities to write, yet instead I fell under the content hole. I need to change this, perhaps adding a timer to it, or a limit on how much I can consume. I got things back on schedule, at least. Seriously: guess what? This is a Watch. And is not like I didn't write anything, I carried on with my phone project, and the 365 challenge. However, no new story, no continuing with my book, no nothing.

I want this to stop. I will make this stop. I hate that the Internet is so addictive. It used to be better. Not even talking about the amount of content that's out there, I'm talking about the predatory practices that go around. If there's one thing I love about forums currently is that they (sometimes) are slow, and have no algorithms, compared to the more mainstream social media. I remember back when Youtube had most viewed videos or the most popular on the home page, before and after Google bought it. Still, money is the God of corporations, and they are willing to both build and destroy in order to worship it.

Anyway, tonight's a Watch, so I'll be writing. I have my things prepared for it, and it is time to handle this like a pro.

February 12th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 20 Cossack Squats +EC
Count: 1749 - 1745 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
20 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 10 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 523 words in 28 minutes! (57/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
824 words in 38 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Watch report: I spent 37 minutes and wrote 960 words. It's a letter. I thought of it as a skeleton, but rather feels more like it has some meat to it. The letter is done so that I can add stuff to it, improve the tone, put my message in there in a more... hidden manner? Or more obvious? Like, it's a love letter, and I'm not trying to hide that, but I want to make it more like... like it seems it lives in the realm of fiction, even though it's autobiographical in a sense... though none of the events happened. Can a vision be autobiographical?

That's a question for someone else. All in all, I did something good, and I was with good company while I did it. F*ck, now I feel so pathetic for even writing that now that I realize how everything came together. I've been dragging this for three years already, I am in a place to finally deal with this, but every single time I feel like I take one step forward, I feel a tug of regret, which... honestly, it's just anxiety and conditioning trying to keep me safe. There's a reason why I'm so afraid to fail with this, because I know I will hit the floor really, really, really hard. Then I keep asking myself: what if I succeed? Then, I panic.

At least the thing is out of my system. If anything, I'm making art. I'm writing. That's all that matters. That's what would make me feel less of a failure. Besides, is not like I'm putting an address to it. I'm writing fiction, a simple story to make my feelings tangible. I can't put an address unless I have a cushion to make the possible fall... less painful.

Let's just say this is just a way to train myself to keep fighting, even when defeat is guaranteed, even if the fight is lost before it even begun. Better to die in the arena than sit safely upon the benches.

 

[Maegaranthelas]

Endless scroll is an evil invention.
It refuses your brain the satisfaction of reaching an ending, and prevents you from noticing how long you've been scrolling.

 

[Sólveig]

Endless scroll is an evil invention.
It refuses your brain the satisfaction of reaching an ending, and prevents you from noticing how long you've been scrolling.

Actually, the guy who created the infinite scroll (IIRC) wanted for it to be used to improve searching for results in search engines by removing the pages. Of course, social media companies noticed the value of it and yanked it from its intended purpose. He (the inventor) was not amused by that. It's the same old story that goes back to Nobel, or even further than that: someone creates something good, then it gets used for evil, and the original inventor is horrified.

 

[Sólveig]

https://authorsguild.org/news/oklahoma-anti-pornography-bill-what-it-means-for-romance-writers/

Are you kidding me? I know, I'm not in Oklahoma, and I doubt this is going to pass, even in the south, but there is one line in particular from this article, one single line that puts me into DEFCON 1 levels of anxiety, and I'm not even there:

Among other things, the bill would provide criminal penalties of up to ten years in prison for the production, distribution, or possession of pornography.

That right there. Do you think this is far-right logic? No, my friends. This is actually law in Venezuela since 2012, back when the country wasn't as tankie as it is now. Word for word. As soon as I read that I had to check the website twice because I thought I was reading that law that banned pornography for no reason whatsoever, didn't even define what pornography is (just like this bill; it's too broad), and even had that exact punishment in place.

The absurdity of it all is how the hell did the far-right from America took a draconian law from the far-left Venezuelan government? Holy sh*t, you might just come here and give a kiss to the leader of our Congress, because you two are definitely made for each other.

Sometimes I just want to go back into making political caricatures, because they are SERIOUSLY asking to be made fun of.

 

[Sólveig]

Task failed successfully. I'm not saying that for nothing. I'm saying that because I invested enough in this letter, and I discarded it not because of perfectionism, but because it was practice. As I was fixing the manuscript I realized there was a complete hole, so I just dropped it. Then, the solution came near the end of day yesterday: I could just write first as a story through a series of interconnected vignettes, and then format it as a letter. I failed, but I learned something, and I can try again.

See? This is key. I am starting to see failure not as failure, but rather learning opportunities. This is good. I'm excited to start over again, and it will happen tonight, because this is a Watch!

I spent most of the day with that letter, and the law of diminishing returns kicked in. Still, I did earn my golden stars thanks to the 365 challenge, which worked good for focusing on something different and let my head vent. 365 today ended up like an episode of something. I don't know. It felt like I wrote the episode of a TV show.

I pretty much skipped working out entirely today. I had DOMS yesterday, and they got worse today, so I decided to rest and focus on the morning and night routines. No Burpees, but this was done on purpose, and my body is just screaming at me for a break. I took a break.

Overall, very productive day. Mood was always high, and I'm determined to do this, especially considering what will come after this is over. Two diptychs, a couple of challenges, and a timer to see if I can do 50K in 48 hours. It's a timer I'll pause constantly. I already have everything prepared for that.

I meditated upon Nauthiz today. I guess that's how I came up with a solution. Doors started to open up. I noticed that yesterday. Meditating is one thing, but taking action is moving things forward. Also, as I showed above, it's good to know that my heart is still in the right place: always unaligned.

February 13th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Balance Hold +EC +EEC (Blindfolded)
Count: 1750 - 1746 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 475 words in 23 minutes! (58/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
2724 words in 105 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Watch Report: 1433 words in 60 minutes... and that thing is still not done! It's halfway there, at least, but it needs more. I need to add more spice to it on editing, but right now it makes more sense than before... even though I went a bit too personal. It doesn't matter, I can remove stuff while editing. I'll ditch what doesn't work, and keep what works.

So, I guess I pretty much did my daily minimum tonight? I only have three vignettes to go. I'd say four, but the fourth is just part of the letter, not really a story.

Damn, I am going to write something different tomorrow to free up some space in my head. While I do love how it's turning out, it feels... boring. I mean, is not boring, but it is boring for what I'm trying to do. I put a note at the beginning to spice it up.

 

[TopNotch]

Are you kidding me?

I heard about that. That 'prurient' content could be banned, but exactly what defines 'prurient' has not yet been determined. Makes me glad that a) I don't live there, and b) I don't write romance novels. But it would also have to flow through to any novel that might depict anything the least bit ...suggestive. Land of the free...

 

[Sólveig]

I heard about that. That 'prurient' content could be banned, but exactly what defines 'prurient' has not yet been determined. Makes me glad that a) I don't live there, and b) I don't write romance novels. But it would also have to flow through to any novel that might depict anything the least bit ...suggestive. Land of the free...

Yeah, that's the thing. It doesn't even matter if sex isn't the focus; if there's something that shows it, it's pretty much fair game for them. While it doesn't affect writers because it's meant for visual depictions, it's still censorship on artists. The copy of Story of the Eye that I shared here to show Bataille's manuscript also has the Hans Bellmer illustrations made for the 1940 edition, and they are definitely grounds for such bill.

The point is that draconian laws always start in the most inocuous places under motives that seem noble, but in reality they are pushing a narrative that seeks to oppress.

 

[Sólveig]

I could barely sleep during this First Sleep. Someone... something, I don't know what it is, but is making a strange noise that's going for hours now, and is annoying to no end. Having headphones now eliminates it, but I don't sleep with anything other than my pajamas and a blanket, and this is just horrible. It's the first time I'm hearing this. I tried to see what the hell it was, but I couldn't see anything.

It was a day of writing and not writing, ideation, but not action. Powercut. A very long one. Too much heat. Not really much of desire to move, so my Burpees are at a low for today. It sucked for a Valentine's Day, but hey, almost 2.5K. Just... almost. The letter is giving me issues so I scrapped it in favor of something else I'll cook. I started cooking it, but I didn't execute it as such. Like I said, too much ideation, too little action.

That freaking noise though...

E: Screw it! I can't focus with that noise going on! What the hell is that?!

February 14th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 50 Backfists +EC
Count: 1751 - 1747 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 540 words in 27 minutes! (59/60)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
2322 words in 117 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I figured out what that noise was, because it indeed sounded like a giant pressure cooker going off. One of the local wells overflowed with water, so the water company went in there with the biggest pump of the world and started to empty that well. That pump was the thing making that noise... for fourteen hours... Fourteen hours!

They sucked water off a well because it overflowed... when we are having worse issues with the water... Let me say that again: they sucked water off a well because it overflowed... when we are having worse issues with the water.

You have no idea how much learning that pissed me off. At this point I really want to think they just found gold in that well, because before 2019, there was a point during the electricity crisis that a power issue was caused by the government because they found gold in the power plant.

So I wasted one night because the noise didn't help me sleep or write because a well overflowed, and these guys decided it was best to dry it off when we are having water issues?

I'm wordless. Seriously. There are no words in any language that would express how angry I am.

 

[Sólveig]

So yeah, that was that pressure cooker-like noise that lasted for 14 hours: the world's largest pump. They decided to dry off a well because it overflowed, but wait, it gets better! They decided to dry a well, as we're facing water shortages, but wait, it gets better! Do you know what happened to the water they sucked out? They tossed it like garbage. Yes, all that water got wasted.

Whoever came up with the idea... I don't wish them evil. I only wish for them to be fired. I know that evil will come later to their lives because wasting water during a time of crisis? Congratulations, you just won the 2025 edition of the World's Biggest Assh*le Awards! I can't show this on the Hive, but I'm being told the medal actually has an assh*le engraved in it! We're in February!

Honestly, I'm afraid to keep touching that subject because the more I ask, the worse it gets, so I'll just move on to something that gets better the more I do it: writing, which I did not do today because... that took over my head. At least I did the 365 challenge, which was... not exactly good, but I reached the 60 Days milestone now? I'm going for 90 days now, and this is starting to get hard. Seriously, I feel like I'm tiring myself from it, but I just want to keep going. I mean, if I'm thinking too much, I might just use the prompts I wrote a while back and didn't roll on them. That'll give me a break for figuring things out for a week, at least.

Not a Watch. I had a late dinner, but something weird happened this week? I'll tell you about it on my weekly report, which I just did. I'm going to journal a bit more tonight because the brain is going through a case of little gremlins causing mayhem. I have to clear it out.

At least there's no giant pressure cooker going off tonight. Seriously, when the sound stopped at noon, I asked myself "have I gone deaf?!" until I played music. You have no idea the new appreciation for silence it grew on me after 14 hours with that... pressure cooker of a pump. It really did sound like a pressure cooker the most, and I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one who went onto the street on her pajamas to figure out what the f*ck was that noise that didn't let me sleep!

February 15th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 40 Reverse Angels +EC
Count: 1752 - 1748 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
20 Full Burpees
WoD: Lights Out - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Lunges | 20 Squats | 8 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 545 words in 30 minutes! (60/60) New Milestone!
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
570 words in 32 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

• Writing: 7 days, 8707 words
• Burpees: 5 days, 1220 Burpees
• 2 days of reading

---

"What?!"

I said that out loud when I noticed the numbers for Burpees.

"That can't be right."

I added them up, and it wasn't wrong. I, somehow, did more Burpees in less days, and I have no idea how did that happen. The writing, I don't care much because I dropped it like over and over, to the point that perfectionism took over, so I decided to restart. Thing is I'm having troubles with prioritizing, which I'll work with this week and have my priorities on an even more visible place... like a piece of paper pinned on the courtain or taped on the side of my desk. I have so much stuff going over my head again that I'm not prioritizing. I'm doing the wrong work, or not doing any work at all.

I'm also facing the issue of wanting to draw again, and going back to the guitar. I can do each for 30 minutes on my own way, using the same system of the 365 challenge, but modified for each. I can sacrifice an hour to divide between each activity no problem, plus it's a bit of a requirement now considering that a student is making a lot of progress on guitar; enough that he's already looking for songs to play on his own, and he's doing it. I keep encouraging to do that because it accumulates. The things that he learns from those can help him with the lessons just as the lessons can help him to play the songs he wants. He's even wishing to play for his friends and to impress a girl, something that signals me that I'm doing good. I like that a lot. That really reminds me how much I love teaching: to see that progress and to be part of that progress. That fires me up.

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

@Sólveig I am sorry for the situation with your local well (and the ongoing water crisis there in general). I can well imagine the noise of the pump going on for so long would be extremely difficult, especially at night!

I do not know the details of the facts on the ground where you are. But I believe the reason for draining the well may have been because flooded well water = contaminated water. It is not safe to drink. The procedure for disinfecting a contaminated well would involve adding disinfectant to the water, circulating the disinfectant throughout the system, preferably having the disinfectant-laced water soak in the system for several hours, and then pumping the water out and disposing of it until all of the disinfectant is gone from the system.

This is the information I found on Health Canada's website re: well water safety, and how to treat a contaminated well:

Well water and health: Well safety during and after emergencies - Canada.ca

What to do when flooding, droughts or other events affect the quality of your well water.

www.canada.ca

Well water and your health: Treat your well water - Canada.ca

What to do if your well water contains bacterial or chemical contaminants.

www.canada.ca

 

[Sólveig]

@Laura Rainbow Dragon I want to believe. No, really, I want to believe that what you're saying is true, but the water crisis in Cabudare has been going on since I was in middle school, like, four or five years after I moved in here. I want to believe, but the government, both nation-wide as locally, turned the entire public service infrastructure into a travesty of what it was. Take the power, for instance: 2019 got us through five consecutive days without power, and Cabudare is no different when it comes with water, as it slowly got worse and worse. The company didn't say anything, not a single mayor could do anything because the water company is ran by the State, not by the City, and those who did (which were opposition mayors) barely did anything, either because bureocracy got in the way, or they were just bought, with the latter being more likely than the former. Cabudare was a city where mayors from both side managed it, but throughout its history, all mayors did more wrong than right for the city. Cabudare is also in an unique position when it comes to the Lara State: it is the only city in Lara that has the most access to water, which is one of the biggest reasons for its growth, but now it is also the only city in the State that suffers the most with the water. Even the municipalities that are deserts have more access to water than us even when we're the one part in the State that has the most amount of water sources. We still do! Cabudare is well developed, but is not a huge city like Barquisimeto.

I really want to believe you on this one, but I know that what you're saying is not the real problem. I have no evidence, but experience has already told me enough that none of the people in power have the best for us, no matter their alignment.

---

I was pretty sad last night as I journaled. Even though I managed to summarize what went on in my journal, all I had is one question in mind and I couldn't answer. All I know is that I found myself in a strange love triangle, where one girl doesn't want me anymore, and the other doesn't even know me, and I don't even know how to act. While I do have my mind set, it's still emotionally overwhelming. Is not really about sacrificing someone, but more about the why did this happen, how did I get here, and why did I get here... All I have is just whys, one after the other, and I want to answer them all, but I have no answer to any of them.

Do I want to run away? Honestly, I do. I do want to run away. Then again, I can't run away from myself. I tried it before, but it's impossible. It's the first lesson that being transgender taught me: you can't run away from yourself. It's quite the paradox. Funny thing: in-story, my Cleric left the party to find herself again, to reconnect with her own divinity, and stop feeling like a failure to everyone. Coincidentially, I do want to run away too, but my reasons are different. It's a Refusal of the Call. Thing is I don't want to refuse it. I just want to know why did this happen.

No workout today. Only the 365 challenge, but I do want to do a few experiments during tonight's Watch. We managed to get our water supplies not at 100%, but we got it there; enough to survive until Thursday. Thing is the water stopped because the gargantuan pressure cooker went off again. Yeah, they are still sucking off water, and now I can't stop thinking that they're doing it on purpose.

February 16th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 30 Power Squats +EC
Count: 1753 - 1749 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 588 words in 31 minutes! (61/90)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
588 words in 30 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

It got busy. I forgot to post my Watch report, but I'm skipping the Watch tonight because... well, the powercut lasted for the entire afternoon. I know I do not need power to write, but I was so low on mood at the afternoon. Seriously, I guess afternoons don't work for creative work for me at all. I'm always at my best on the mornings and the evenings, especially midnight, but afternoon? With all that heat, and the powercuts, and stuff? Yeah, I should just stop trying. That's a dead time for me. I'll have to occupy my afternoon in something else.

Anyway, during my previous Watch I managed to write 692 words in a single sheet of letter sized paper. That's awesome; it gives me an average of 346 words per page. Yes, I wrote in both sides, and I'll carry on the story with other two pieces of paper I have. The next two are legal sized, one is folded in half (zine style), and the other one is just the average legal paper. There's nothing on them; they are blank. I'm doing this mostly to study my handwriting, but the story I'm pantsing on it will be published anyway. It's a skeleton draft, and I think I can do to it better.

I carried on with my phone project during the powercut, continued with the 365 challenge with something that has potential for being the beginning of a book... seriously, this challenge? You should do it, even if you're not a creative person. It works with anything, and now I have 62 stories that are unfinished and crap, however the skill not only is improving, but I also got out of it a lot of seeds, hoping it to be 365 seeds at the end of the year.

As for the day, well lots of library work. We got donated more than 130 kilograms (that's 286 pounds for those who refuse to measure anything unless it's in Bald Eagle units) of scrap paper in tons of damaged books, so what was a morning planned to keep doing inventory, I ended up spending in organizing the sh*tload of things that'll be sold for the recycling company to get more stuff to keep the community center good. We also got two shelves donated, and the space was reorganized in such way that another half of a shelf can be filled with books. All we're waiting on is actual donations, because none of the books from that load were either in good enough condition to keep, or of interest to the library. But yeah, things got expanded, and I feel like I can organize some books to be on a better place than the one they used to be.

Busy day. Then not so busy due to a powercut lasting for the entire afternoon. It was just tiring. Honestly, that's why I'm skipping Watch tonight: to catch up with my plans, and I think I did.

There's been a change of schedule with guitar classes, but that's a temporary thing. All in all, it's been a really exhausting day. My computer scared me when the power came back, asking to set up the time and date again. I thought the CMOS battery died out, but apparently it didn't. I mean, weird flex, but okay, I get the message. I backed up everything.

February 17th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 30 Climber Taps +EC
Count: 1754 - 1750 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
7 Full Burpees
20 Full Burpees
Monday +EC
Chiseled Arms - LVL III +30-second rest
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Jumping Jacks | 8 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 566 words in 26 minutes! (62/90)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
1555 words in 78 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Sorry, I just finished journaling for today and there's something I just noticed about the 365 challenge: I'm doing it handwritten, alright? Just one sheet of paper, fill it up in both sides. A paper that comes from a notepad that I really like; it's the type of notepad I use as a secondary whiteboard, and it's the same type of notepad I use for GMing; the one where I keep initiatives, make quick notes, jot NPC's Hearts (I don't keep track of HP; I go the ICRPG way for this) and stuff... I really like those notepads. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that there is something that handwriting, and why the heck not, typewriting as well has that digital writing doesn't: a limit. Endless scrolling was mentioned here before, but what about endless pages? Word processors like the Markdown processors that I use (Obsidian, Ghostwriter, Manuskript) don't have a page break. They just keep going on and on and on... However, when I wrote an entire story inside a notebook, not only I sat on my pants for the whole thing, but I actually used the limits of the notebook to restrain the story. I knew it was a first part, and while it is a skeleton draft still, the fact that I have that first part done is awesome, especially in such a small notebook that has less than 100 sheets in it.

Some entries for the 365 challenge are actually two chapters becoming one. I write one chapter in one side, and then I write the other chapter in the other side. Other times I find myself working within the limits and even end the story there, so when I say unfinished is because there is a gap somewhere between the ending and what comes before. But that's the thing that I'm finding that makes a difference with writing on the computer or on the phone: I have a set number of pages, and I must put a story in that limit. Is not about the end product, but rather about getting the thing out of my head, into the page, and getting it done first. Yes, it's more work, yes I have to count the words manually (which is a chore; I won't lie, even though it's satisfactory to see the number going up on the calculator), but here's the thing: a limited number of pages is so much better than a limit of words. Words are a bit arbitrary. True, for me they work perfectly on digital, and I like to count my words; you can see that in my log. The thing is that actually having something physical, something that can be seen, something that doesn't show just where it begins, but also when is it going to end, is so much better for plantsers like myself, because now you know when is it going to end!

Of course, you can do that with a word limit. I'm not saying nothing new here. The key difference here is that you can see paper sheets. One ream of paper has 500 sheets. A4 is a bit bigger than Letter, but if we go by my calculations, to write 50K words, all I need is 72 sheets of paper. For 85K, 122 sheets. I'm not even half-way through a ream, and I already have two handwritten books. Granted, I'm doing this math taking into account the size of my handwriting, so YMMV. But yeah, having... I don't know, 1 sheet, 10 sheets, 20 sheets... actually helps me a lot better to sit on my pants and write rather than having a wordcount. While it is less precise, the fact that I can eyeball my progress and actually see where I can put any milestone that my mind gets as I write (which then switches me into plantsing mode if I'm not plantsing first) makes it so that I can actually get there. The only downside is that pacing might be altered, but here's the thing: this is supposed to be the worst draft that the world has ever seen in its lifetime. Whatever issues that happen while the story gets out will be fixed in editing.

I guess the lesson here is to add more inconvenience in my life. At least most of the material I'm using is recycled. I only buy notebooks and pens, and lo' and behold: I've turned into a mass murderer of pens. I don't know why I have five empty pens still sitting in my desk. Some of them are from last year.

E: Yes, when I mention the sheets of paper, I'm implying that I'm writing in both sides of them.

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

All in all, it's been a really exhausting day. My computer scared me when the power came back, asking to set up the time and date again.

I thought the CMOS battery died out, but apparently it didn't. I mean, weird flex, but okay, I get the message. I backed up everything.

 

[Sólveig]

It is the CMOS battery that died. I'm not really too faded about it; that was an issue bound to happen since this is a refurbished laptop... even though I expected for it to die in at least three years from now. I looked for replacements online and got discouraged when I saw the prices, because... 138 dollars for a CMOS battery? American dollars. I must be tripping or someone typed a random number on the thing, because a button cell battery should not cost that much, even if it has all the wiring needed. I paid 120 dollars for this thing, and throw in 20 extra for a new hard drive after Windows 7 broke the previous one; you think I am going to shell 138 dollars for a CMOS battery when I can get a tower with an i7, 8 GB of RAM, and the same space for hard drive as this one for 160 dollars?! Seriously, I must be tripping.

There were cheaper offers, yes, but 50$ for a battery? I can buy another phone like the one I have... Hell, I could buy a tablet that's more powerful too. What in the flying f*ck are these prices? It feels like a Wild West of prices for electronics. I know a T60 might count as a "vintage" computer, and I know vintage computing components are getting more expensive, but come on, 50$ for a CMOS battery? A button cell battery that costs like ten times less than that? That can't be right. That is one expensive battery, I'm telling you that much.

So screw it. If I have to toy around with the BIOS every single day, then so be it. At least I backed up my stuff.

Too bad I didn't write today... other than the 365 challenge. I had the opportunity, but got drawn into the content hole again, and I lost any will to write too. I don't know, there was some friction I felt. Could be the heat, could be the fact that I woke up to a low point... At least I updated some of my phone apps too, got some bloat off, and some other stuff. It was just a meh day. At least I now have a request to fill up.

320 Burpees because the dice demanded it.

E: I was so angry about the price that I didn't notice I wrote "payed" instead of "paid."

February 18th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 30 Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1755 - 1751 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
8 Full Burpees
20 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Full Burpees
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 545 words in 36 minutes! (63/90)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
545 words in 36 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

As it turns out, the friction was actually inside me. I left a loop open in my journal with one question: why did I fell for [REDACTED]? Why her?

I answered that question at the afternoon. I also did an actual emotional checkup now that it's been nine months after the breakup and... things are... though better, they aren't still good. There are new possibilities in the horizon, and I can still work with my plans without much change, but I'm just dwelling in both the uncertainty of the future, and a desire to go back. It's pretty much a tug of war that's left me split, so I've been quite frozen in place. I heard a call, and came up with a solution tonight. So I wrote down my priorities, but I'm still not okay with the order in which I put them. I'll figure that out tomorrow, with a fresh mind now that the emotional storm seems to be over, for now.

Is it possible to miss someone you never met? I spent the entire day missing both girls. It is a strange feeling to miss someone you used to be with while also missing someone else who you never met. Crying a bit did help, but right now I just want to talk to someone, even though I know what the advice would be: write your f*cking book, which once again, due to the current stage I'm going through, priorities shifted. I hate to take one step further and ten back, even though this is now for mental clarity... or that's just me getting something out of my chest... or putting what the hell is that I want on the paper... or anything. I don't even know what will come out of this. Everything is turning unpredictible. I expected a powercut today, and it never came.

At least I learned that the friction I had with writing was actually within, and not outside. In fact, Youtube started feeding me shorts that reminded me of my personal Vision. You know what happened after I closed the loop? I ended up visualizing the book, like, the plot in it. I know I'll sit in my pants for it, but I already have an ending in mind, and I figured the best way to start is with the ending. I even wrote a page dedicated to figure out why does it have the symbols that I put in, and explained why two elements that aren't related are my main inspiration, other than my own life. I guess I started without knowing.

No Burpees, my time got stolen. Then again, I wasn't... emotionally present.

February 19th, 2025
Kickboxing: Day 198

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 50 Chest Expansions +EC
Count: 1756 - 1752 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Get to Bed on Time
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Fighter - Throughout the day
Valkyrie - Regular Training
Programs:
Nothing right now
Bucket List:
Shadebound
High Gear
Extreme HIIT

---

Workouts:
200 Burpees / Death By Burpees - LVL III +EC
20 Full Burpees
Burpee Queen +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 38

---

Challenges:
Writing the Same Thing Every Day for a Year: 540 words in 32 minutes! (64/90)
Bucket List:
Empty

---

Writing progress:
540 words in 32 minutes!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
The 12 Week Year - 40%
Ironsworn - 0/260 Pages
Me Before You - 17%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

(Not a) Watch report: I just spent 40 minutes writing my book. No plotting, no nothing, just sat on my pants and let stream of consciousness take over. I won't lie, it's extremely painful, but having [REDACTED] accompanying me not only makes me feel safe, but it also brings me a sense of purpose. It's the first time I actually do a cover for a manuscript, and I even doodled something that symbolizes the title. I wrote around... 700 to 900 words. I didn't count them. Everything is handwritten with black ink, and by the end I started to have some doubts, but I know I'm just starting. I'm just trusting my instincts right now because... well, this book requires me to be myself. It's a work of therapy, and it forced me to go back to the day my ex broke up with me.

There is... anger that's still in there. I want to keep going though. I don't know what the hell am I writing. It feels like I'm breaking every single rule known to writers, but whatever it is, it better be bad now because I can fix that later. All that matters is to bleed on the pages.

Addendum: it's 1:19 AM, and I added two more pages. I really don't know what the hell am I doing, but I know this is leading me somewhere.