Struggling dad. Could use some help, motivation.

[HeyZeus]

I’m hitting 38 years old this November. I’m a father of 4, I’m 5’10, 269lbs. I feel horrible, I’m fat and can’t stand looking at myself in a mirror. Aside from my weight, I’m struggling to be happy for myself.
I don’t have friends, I find pleasure in solitude, mainly cause I don’t have to pretend to be happy. I feel like a failure for my family. I’ve decided I need to change. Not only for them, but for myself. I guess that starts with getting in shape Vs being shapes.

How does one get started? I’m scared of stepping foot into a gym cause I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

 

[Shikari]

Welcome to the hive. This is a great place to get started. I get what you're saying. I read the frustration loud and clear. Believe it, you have come to the right place.

To find out about Darebee's resources:

* Read the introduction on the start page for an overview of how the website works, what the programs are, etc. https://www.darebee.com/get-started.html

* go to the workouts tab. Click on the gray filter button. Scroll down to difficulty and select level 1 and 2 . Choose any of them and give it a whirl.

* choose a program that gets you moving. Go to the programs page and read over the descriptions. Choose any one of the level 1 or 2 programs that interests you and let your family know you want to try it. Let them be your accountability partners. Maybe choose one of the walking challenges and get them involved too.

* use the first week of your program as an extended "fitness test". Do the daily workouts for the program, keeping in mind how each workout challenges you. Almost everything is scalable: if the workout is too easy, you can do more reps, do another set, or push the pace. If it's too hard, you can do the reverse.

Once you get a sense of what's here, maybe start a plan.

* set a fitness goal: what are you exercising for? What end do you want to achieve? Only you can determine what the goal is for you, but my advice is make it: time-focused, specific, measurable and achieveable. Everything you choose to do after that should integrate with the goal.

* no frustration, no regrets. If you check back in on yourself and you missed a "deadline", like you can't get to x# of push ups, or you just can't run that mile fast enough, whatever... Don't sweat it, just keep moving. Don't quit on yourself.

* Based on your age, I suspect your kids could be fairly young. You are their role model. Get them involved. If you choose a program like Spellbound, you can all play along with the adventure.

 

[Shikari]

Another way of stating all the above is in the Darebee guide section. Take a look at this article. https://darebee.com/fitness/how-to-start-with-exercise-if-you-re-overweight.html

 

[guibo94]

I’m hitting 38 years old this November. I’m a father of 4, I’m 5’10, 269lbs. I feel horrible, I’m fat and can’t stand looking at myself in a mirror. Aside from my weight, I’m struggling to be happy for myself.
I don’t have friends, I find pleasure in solitude, mainly cause I don’t have to pretend to be happy. I feel like a failure for my family. I’ve decided I need to change. Not only for them, but for myself. I guess that starts with getting in shape Vs being shapes.

How does one get started? I’m scared of stepping foot into a gym cause I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

I am not in the exact same situation, but I can relate to being a father as I have 2 kids, but I am a few years older, about to be 42 this December. Without getting into to many details, it sounds like your are starting in the right place in making a change for you and for your own well being. Being a parent and working makes it very easy to lose yourself in all the responsibilities and expectations as I have been there too. The gym is intimidating so don't feel bad about that, but that is what is great about this site as you don't need a gym! I used to do just simple and easy 30 day challenges like this one because it was convenient, short, and doable at home after the kids were asleep. In my many years of fitness I have found that consistency is more important than most other things fitness related. I also try to think of my fitness in terms of months and years instead of weeks. Kind of like if you miss a week of a 30 day routine, that's a big deal, but on the flip side missing a week over the course of 6 to 9 to 12 months is not a big deal at all. So don't be afraid to take a day or two or three or ten off if you need to. Find some thing fitness related that you like to do as start there. My kids would even join me in workouts from time to time as well which was kind of fun.

Good luck and keep us posted!