TakingBabyStepsBack
Well-known member
Posts: 283
"Keep fighting. Fortune will favor the patient and persistent."
First and foremost: Not venting against a single member of the Hive here. I just feel better saying that.
I have a life coach that lives in Florida, in the Tampa area. Yesterday a major hurricane — that’s what they’re called in my part of the world — made landfall in that region of the country. It was impossible not to find out about it, and from the images of its track that I saw it either scored a direct hit on Tampa or came close enough to be considered such.
She tells me she evacuated well in advance because I got fair warning that my session with her this week might have to rescheduled, but that didn’t give me much comfort. I had a major panic attack yesterday worrying about her safety, and nothing seemed to quell it until I finally passed out — can’t say I really fell asleep — around midnight last night, and even then I still woke up several times.
At least part of this I consider founded: If something happened to my life coach, there is no Plan B. To get matched with her, a ton of things had to happen. I had to be having a very brave moment to be matched with her in the first place, and she needed three sessions to convince the inner child in me that she was trustable. Losing her for any reason, including some act of a higher power (I’m not religious because I consider it superstition) would set me back a long, long way because it would force me to go through the difficult process of being matched again — which literally took years because therapists failed me — and it takes a special kind of listener to work with me on the level that my coach does.
This is an elongated way of saying my self-care went disastrously south yesterday. Only one meal out of three was eaten, and all I could manage besides that was a cheap nibble on whatever happened to be nearby. Meanwhile I had worked out as if I had tried to eat normally, the added effect of that only being that I feel a little less fat, if only for a little while.
It just felt scary all over and it’s little wonder that I feel cranky and my bad side (my right) feels like it had a tranquilizer dart fired into it this morning.
I have a life coach that lives in Florida, in the Tampa area. Yesterday a major hurricane — that’s what they’re called in my part of the world — made landfall in that region of the country. It was impossible not to find out about it, and from the images of its track that I saw it either scored a direct hit on Tampa or came close enough to be considered such.
She tells me she evacuated well in advance because I got fair warning that my session with her this week might have to rescheduled, but that didn’t give me much comfort. I had a major panic attack yesterday worrying about her safety, and nothing seemed to quell it until I finally passed out — can’t say I really fell asleep — around midnight last night, and even then I still woke up several times.
At least part of this I consider founded: If something happened to my life coach, there is no Plan B. To get matched with her, a ton of things had to happen. I had to be having a very brave moment to be matched with her in the first place, and she needed three sessions to convince the inner child in me that she was trustable. Losing her for any reason, including some act of a higher power (I’m not religious because I consider it superstition) would set me back a long, long way because it would force me to go through the difficult process of being matched again — which literally took years because therapists failed me — and it takes a special kind of listener to work with me on the level that my coach does.
This is an elongated way of saying my self-care went disastrously south yesterday. Only one meal out of three was eaten, and all I could manage besides that was a cheap nibble on whatever happened to be nearby. Meanwhile I had worked out as if I had tried to eat normally, the added effect of that only being that I feel a little less fat, if only for a little while.
It just felt scary all over and it’s little wonder that I feel cranky and my bad side (my right) feels like it had a tranquilizer dart fired into it this morning.
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