In the Lion's den

[MadamMeow]

Sorry to hear, but sending positive vibes and hope you find something better or at least not so bad.

 

[Mamatigerj]

 

[Fremen]

Welcome back

 

[colin]

Sorry Matan. I hope you feel better soon. x

 

[CODawn]

I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[Matan]

I'm in a worst mental condition ever, and I need support. No details, sorry.
I just wish that someone hug me and tell me that everything's gonna be okay.

 

[JCU]

Everything is going to be okay

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Hugs from France, you will be OK, hour after hour, day after day, it will be OK and even, it will be better. From a wolf and her cat.

 

[Fremen]

You are not alone

 

[HellYeah]

Hugs,hugs,hugs...

 

[CODawn]

Hang in there. Not to sound cliché but it's always darkest before the dawn. It's gonna be ok.

 

[Matan]

@JCU @PetiteSheWolf @Fremen @HellYeah @CODawn Thank you.
I so wish you are right.
Unfortunately my stress and anxiety are getting worse...

 

[Fremen]

Can we help you in any way?

 

[Matan]

@Fremen
There's nothing you can do, unfortunately.

 

[Matan]

I probably should post my exercise here... but let's be honest this amount of working out isn't even worth logging.
Everything is awful...

 

[HellYeah]

Everything is worth it! You are worth it!
Take care of you!

 

[CODawn]

When I was going through Hell this past winter, I was doing 15 minutes of march steps. It's all worth it.

 

[Matan]

Thanks @HellYeah @CODawn

I'm doing only


Motivation is all time low.
I'm so confused and scared...

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Hey, punches to get out your energy, that's good!

 

[Matan]

@PetiteSheWolf
Sigh... If it only worked like that...

 

[kalin]

You are not alone. I have been in those dark places, suffocating with anxiety, fear, stress, sadness... It is possible to feel something different. It may not seem like it now, but it is. You can feel something different.

It's amazing that you've reached out. Keep reaching out. Keep talking. We will listen

 

[Matan]

I'm so lost... I wish I knew what's going on...

 

[JohnStrong]

I'm so lost... I wish I knew what's going on...

Sounds like you're in a very tough spot, sorry to hear it.
If you were to ask yourself 'what is going on?', what answer(s) would you receive?

 

[Matan]

@JohnStrong
I am unfortunately.
I have absolutely no idea... I have like a million possible scenarios, but I have very limited information...
Currently it's all guess-work...

 

[kalin]

Nothing wrong with guesswork! Everyone's path is different, so trying different things and getting small wins along the way will get you far.

The main thing is to get the guesswork out of your head and into action.

Our paths are different, so I don't know what your solution is. I can only share my experience. If there is anything here that helps, use it, and ignore the rest.

When I was at my lowest and a danger to myself and others, I checked myself into the hospital and stayed for a few weeks until i was safe. There is no shame in that.

The medication gave me just enough drive to explore ways to feel good naturally

A few things that changed my life:

- Sun and dark exposure.
Basically, following the rhythm of the sun. It lets the brain know where we are in time so that certain chemical processes happen. This optimizes sleep and hormone production, among other things. The huberman lab has some great episodes on this.

- i took a dna test.
I learned biological factors that contributed to my anxiety, depression and inability to manage stress. These have turned out to be completely manageable now that i am aware of them. Knowledge is power.

- walked the dogs at the local animal shelter.
There is something unbelievably healing about being unconditionally loved, even for a moment. You get to spend time outside, in the sun, moving your body, with a being that is 100% happy that you exist and infinitely grateful for your presence.

If you are allergic to dogs, take an anti-histamine and do it anyway. It is that worth it.

Now i am living a happy and healthy life, free of any medications. It really is possible to get there.

As you try things, just be easy on yourself. No shame, no blame. You will get there. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. It is worth it. You are worth it.

Sending you hugs and positivity

 

[GentleOx]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.

I don't know what you're going through, but I've had a few tough times. Honestly did not know what tomorrow would bring. Eventually things cleared up, and I hope they do for you too.
Just know that everyone here is rooting for you

 

[Matan]

@kalin
I really appreciate your support, but I don't think that any of this would work.
I have dogs, they are not helping...
I spend time outside, it's not helping...

@GentleOx
Thanks for your support.

 

[Matan]

I really don't want to lose hope, but I have nothing to base that hope on...

 

[kalin]

Don't have to hope. Don't have to believe. Just need to do the work.

Hope comes after action

Lace up, do the work and the rest will follow

 

[Matan]

@kalin Unfortunately there is nothing I can do...

I wish this was just a bad dream...

 

[JohnStrong]

<- This is a large, warm carrot muffin for you.
<- This is a warm beverage for you.
<- This is a book for you.

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

And qznsing you hello for your birthday!

 

[neilarey]

Happy Birthday!!!

 

[HellYeah]

Wishing you a nice birthday
Just be kind to yourself, today.

 

[JohnStrong]

Happy birthday!

 

[JCU]

Happy Birthday

 

[Fremen]

Happy Birthday

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

to you on your birthday, Matan.

I don't know the specifics of what you are going through. But I do know that you are strong, and you are worth it.
Hang in there. We're all rooting for you.

 

[Mamatigerj]

Happy Birthday, Matan.
i am sorry you are hurting right now, and i want to tell you that you matter to me and you are loved.

 

[Anek]

 

[NancyTree]

 

[MadamMeow]

Really hope that you get to enjoy today and that things surprise you and turn around soon.

 

[Matan]

Thanks for the birthday wishes. I really appreciate that.

I had a drink with a good friend of mine yesterday evening, it was nice.
Unfortunately other than that, it wasn't a good day at all...

 

[HellYeah]

I had a drink with a good friend of mine yesterday evening, it was nice.

In bad times, that's a pretty good start... feed your soul with small bites of "nicyness"

 

[Matan]

I understand @HellYeah.
Unfortunately those little moments (no matter how nice and enjoyable they are) won't fill up the void, won't turn world colourful again, won't give a reason to keep trying...
I lost all my driving force...

 

[graoumia]

Can you find some support around you ? Physically or remotely ? maybe a group of support, a forum, or something else?

 

[Matan]

@graoumia
Not really...
Well. I have this thread, and one very good friend. That's all.

 

[graoumia]

Were you able to talk to your good friend? it is not easy

 

[Matan]

@graoumia
Yes. We are constantly in touch, and I'm extremely grateful for that...

 

[Matan]

I feel so damn lonely and hopeless! I can't stand it anymore!
Everything fell apart...