No babysitting today, and no co-op, either... However, I do have a distressed 17yr old who needed to be picked up from school today. Panic attacks from outta the blue... It's really distressing, too, because yesterday was her birthday, and today is all county band, which she will be missing. She was really looking forward to it. Hard to do, though, when you can't breathe, or quit crying and throwing up.
When I was younger, I used to think that being happy or being miserable was always a choice, and in a way it is. I have a daughter who is a very happy person, but struggles through panic attacks... when they hit, she's miserable. It's not a choice for her. I love the choices that she makes when they do hit, though. She seeks help and doesn't try to wallow in it. Nor does she allow her condition to keep her from trying to do the things she wants to do. Therein lies the choice. However, in the moment, when a panic attack hits, you can't "just be happy" and it'll magically disappear. She requires a gentle hand to guide her through it every time. I admit that I never understood panic attacks or why it wasn't like a switch you could just "turn off", even into adulthood. #3 has taught me a lot about mental health. She does not suffer from depression at all, but even she struggles with sudden anxiety attacks. She could be super excited and happy about something GREAT happening in her life, and the sudden surge of adrenalin that hits her in that moment is all it takes to trigger a panic attack. Without her, I would have probably continued to remain ignorant of others' similar struggles. She is a blessing in my life.
Goals:
Read or listen daily to a talk, lecture, or devotional
Bring my children's math skills up a grade level by the end of the month
Maintain a soft, low tone when I speak, even when I am angry, frustrated, or overexcited
Adhere to my own wake-sleep schedule
I didn't do anything academic for myself or my kids yesterday, but I did well with my schedule and remaining calm. It's been getting easier and easier to do so.
Yesterday was #3's birthday. We had a pizza party, but it wasn't from our usual pizza place, but store-bought trash... The worth of mobility last night was two slices of pizza... No walk, and still fighting inflammation today. I don't know why I thought I could do that... I usually order pizza locally for my family, and then enjoy their mozzarella cheese sticks for myself at only half the inflammatory response... HAHAHA!