Author of a Thousand Fails

[OJJJEM]

New forum, new check-in thread...

INTRODUCTION: Hi, I'm an unhealthy mom of six and an active Darebee member. I have been battling my health demons for over a decade now. Battling... and losing... I've been a member of the Darebee community for a couple of years now, and have found this to be a very open and accepting place. You don't have to be a fitness junkie to be here. You just have to be kind enough to yourself to not give up when things go downhill.

I am looking forward to continuing my journey with you all!

 

[Froud]

You never lost, I see that you keep fighting over and over.

 

[OJJJEM]

Monday, 19 September 2022

BREAKFAST: Lime Perrier, Caprese salad on a bed of bibb lettuce
DINNER: Beefaroni, Kale salad with rainbow carrots, heirloom tomatoes, crumbled feta, and lime dressing
*snackstuffs: an Asian pear, #3 baked a cake... naturally, I didn't resist (don't worry I only had one slice... I refuse to disclose the size of that slice, though )

FITNESS (Morning and evening warm-up and stretches, as well as pre-/post-workout warm-ups and stretches are automatically included)
Morning - walk after breakfast. Distance: Unknown. Time: 1hr, 15min
Afternoon - Vitality Day 1, only 1 set
Evening - No workouts, No walks

Day 1 for keeping track of how many consecutive days I've worked out.

Weight: 302lbs

 

[OJJJEM]

You never lost, I see that you keep fighting over and over.

I have found through my experience that there's a HUGE difference between failing and losing. Failing is actually winning when you take a scientific approach! Because you've failed, you've learned that the current method doesn't work. So, you tweak it and try again until you find the source of your failure! The more you fail, the more you get to know yourself, and the more you can adapt to your own shortcomings! Failure sucks, but every failure you experience makes even the smallest victory that much sweeter. <3 <3 <3

 

[OJJJEM]

Tuesday, 20 September 2022

BREAKFAST: Black cherry soda water, small bowl of cut strawberries
DINNER: Baked salmon seasoned with a mixture of apple cider vinegar, lime juice with cilantro oil, salt, pepper, garlic, red pepper, and olive oil on a bed of bibb salad.
*snackstuffs: heirloom tomatoes, rainbow carrots, and mozzarella bites. Chocolate covered pretzels

FITNESS:
Morning - Walk before breakfast (distance unknown. time: 1hr 30 minutes)
Afternoon - nothing
Evening - Vitality Day 2, 1 set only

Day 2 consecutive workouts

Weight: 302lbs

 

[Froud]

I have found through my experience that there's a HUGE difference between failing and losing. Failing is actually winning when you take a scientific approach! Because you've failed, you've learned that the current method doesn't work. So, you tweak it and try again until you find the source of your failure! The more you fail, the more you get to know yourself, and the more you can adapt to your own shortcomings! Failure sucks, but every failure you experience makes even the smallest victory that much sweeter. <3 <3 <3

Exactly what I said

 

[OJJJEM]

Exactly what I said

Yes. I desired to reenforce your statement. I agree. I was wrong to say that I was losing... Even if I'm fighting a losing battle, I've definitely not lost! The tides of battle can change, after all!
Keep being awesome!

 

[OJJJEM]

Wednesday, 21 September 2022

BREAKFAST: Water with an electrolyte packet (lemon-ginger) that had a few vitamins and minerals in it
DINNER: A slice of pizza at 9pm
*snackstuffs: NOTHING. I was gone most of the day

FITNESS:
Morning - a 30 minute walk
Afternoon - Nothing
Evening - Vitality day 3, 1 set

Weight: 302lbs

Today, when I wasn't tending a sick family, I was running all over the tri-county area trying to find a book that I need for school... I finally settled on just buying it from the bookstore using money that my son loaned me... at that point, it was so late that I grabbed some hot pizza for everyone and prayed they were still awake enough to not miss dinner... Something interesting about my kids is that I have to feed them all day until they're fat because they always wake up the next day a bag of bones.

I've relapsed... sick again. The one who got me sick has relapsed, too.

 

[Sif_Shepard]

Hope you and your sick family members get well soon!

 

[Sólveig]

 

[JCU]

 

[Whirly]

 

[NancyTree]

Healing vibes

 

[Kanary]

Healing vibes and apricot blossoms

 

[Froud]

Take care!

 

[Anek]

Healing vibes!

 

[TheLibrarian]

 

[val.lavigne86]

Hope you're feeling better quickly @OJJJEM

 

[Damer]

@OJJJEM I hope you get well and help your family member also get better fast. The battle is never lost as long as there are souls willing to route for us. And in this place everyone has a cheerleading squad of their own. Stay strong!

 

[OJJJEM]

BREAKFAST: Electrolyte vitamin water, chocolate dipped pretzels
DINNER: Ok... I've gotta brag on #6! She's 11 years old and already works the fryer like a pro! Today, made dinner for everyone! She battered and fried tilapia with minimal assistance, then she used the last of the batter to make an egg dough and fried some mozzarella dumplings for everyone, and even remembered to serve it on a plate of greens! It's super spicy fish, and she countered it with some vegan avocado mayo... I love her creativity!
*snackstuffs: a bartlett pear

FITNESS
Morning - 30 minute walk
Afternoon - Vitality day 4, 1 set
Evening - 30 minute walk

Weight: 303lbs
Consecutive days of fitness: 4

 

[JCU]

Looks great! Kudos to your kiddo! Also glad you seem to be doing better!

 

[OJJJEM]

Looks great! Kudos to your kiddo! Also glad you seem to be doing better!

Yes, I'm doing much better, thanks! I seem to be recovering for real this time. <3

 

[lofivelcro]

That's amazing for an 11 year old! I could barely tie my own shoes at that age

 

[OJJJEM]

BREAKFAST: Nothing
DINNER: Tasted some chicken that #1 had roasted... My goodness! #6's meal was amazing, especially for her age, but #1 has perfected roasting chicken! Seasoning, texture, everything was perfection!
*snackstuffs: a small bowl of granola

FITNESS:
Morning - 2hr walk
Afternoon - 1hr walk. Vitality day 5, 1 set
Evening - 30 minute walk

Weight: 304lbs
5 consecutive workout days

I have not been eating and sleeping well. I get 4-6hrs at night lately, and I don't want to eat until near bedtime. My poor lifestyle choices right now are mainly because I'm trying to catch up on my assignments after being sick one week, and tending to a sick family another week. I hope to be back to a healthy routine after the weekend... *fingers crossed*

 

[JCU]

 

[NancyTree]

Take care

 

[OJJJEM]

NO BREAKFAST OR DINNER, but I did have a BIG meal this afternoon! We had a birthday party at Western Sizzlin' for #2. I ate a cobb salad, a little macaroni salad, and lots of shrimp... And I indulged in a drink of 1 part soda, 1 part pink lemonade, and 1 part water... Ooh, and a slice of cake from my favorite bakery. Glad I had my meal mid-day instead of dinnertime because I ate a LOT.

FITNESS:
Morning - Short of a 2hr walk, I was on my feet ALL morning
Afternoon - I slept off a food coma
Evening - Vitality day 6, 1hr walk

Weight: 304lbs

6 consecutive days of working out.

 

[NancyTree]

Happy birthday to your kid!

 

[JCU]

to #2!

 

[OJJJEM]

BREAKFAST: Chicken salad sandwich
DINNER: Caesar salad and a chocolate dipped cookie
*no snackstuffs

FITNESS:
Morning - 30min walk
Afternoon - 2hr walk
Evening - 30min walk; Vitality day 7, 1 set

Weight: 304lbs
7 consecutive days working out

Other foods I am making that I may or may not eat over the next couple of days: Chicken rice and veggie soup in bone and veggie broth, spicy ground beef and rice burrito fillers, and for my kids' lunch tomorrow: spicy meatballs, mixed greens salad, cut apples and oranges... I made enough meatballs to have a few for a snack tomorrow. I'm probably gonna use the burrito fillers as part of a freezer meal for "emergencies".

 

[OJJJEM]

UPDATE: Last night, as I was getting myself to bed, I realized that my feet had been hurting a lot more than usual that day. Well, I have some broken blood vessels in my arches. I still don't know if I need to go to the doctor over this, but I can feel my pulse from halfway down my lower leg to my toes, with painful pressure, followed by tingling, and a throbbing pain in my arches. I woke up this morning really tired and feeling like I slammed into a wall. I don't exactly know how to proceed from here...

 

[JCU]

That sounds horrible! I'd definitely recommend going to the doctor!

 

[OJJJEM]

Thank you for your concern @JCU! If it continues without showing signs of improvement, I most definitely will.

BREAKFAST: Spicy meatballs and cut apples and oranges!
DINNER: More spicy meatballs on a HUGE salad with greens, parmesan cheese, and a light oil and vinegar dressing
*no snackstuffs... My meals were super filling!

FITNESS:
Nothing in the morning or mid-day
Evening: Vitality day 8, 1 set; a 20min walk to digest my food before bed.

304lbs
8 consecutive days of exercise

I definitely rested a LOT today, though family life demanded that I was up and about more than I'd like to have been. I can still feel my pulse very strongly in my feet from my ankles to my toes, and my arches are a lovely shade of bruising. However, its better than how it was this morning. I'm hopeful.

 

[Fitato]

A mom of six! That must be a lot of work!

Please be sure to take care of yourself and not overdo it when you're injured. I hope you recover soon or see the doctor if not. Wishing you the best.

Congrats on over a week of consecutive exercise!

 

[NancyTree]

That sounds horrible! I'd definitely recommend going to the doctor!

Second that. Healing vibes!

 

[OJJJEM]

UPDATE: My feet are no longer throbbing to the point where my toes tingle. My arches do hurt a lot, but then again, they're also really bruised. On a new note: I've had a relapse to my illness... Just one of those things that happens for me sometimes... I guess, my body REALLY wants me to take it easy. HAHAHA!

I AM DETERMINED TO MAKE IT TO DAY 15!!!

Just wanna thank everyone for their well wishes... I struggle most days with body pains or illness, but Darebee's where I get my greatest support and least judgements. I am really grateful to you all for seeing past my weight.

 

[TopNotch]

We see what you choose to show us. Sure, we can see that weight is an issue for you, but there is so much more to you. You're loving, strong, brave, determined - at least, that''s what I see. Sometimes you've got to listen to your body; sometimes you've got to try to get your body to listen to you. Maybe some things just have to be done a little more slowly, but you'll get them done.

 

[Froud]

I am very sorry for you
Have you managed to get to a doctor?

I cross my finger for you

 

[OJJJEM]

I am very sorry for you
Have you managed to get to a doctor?

I cross my finger for you

Since there is evidence of healing, and I'm not getting worse, I've decided to wait and see... If things do worsen, though, I'm definitely going to be seen. Just at that "play it by ear" point, I guess...

 

[lofivelcro]

You know... you try, you work on yourself, you do your best as much as you can, you seem like an awesom mum, there's no reason to get hung up on your weight. In the whole equation, it's the most unimportant variable. At least to me.
Hope you'll get better soon.

 

[OJJJEM]

You know... you try, you work on yourself, you do your best as much as you can, you seem like an awesom mum, there's no reason to get hung up on your weight. In the whole equation, it's the most unimportant variable. At least to me.
Hope you'll get better soon.

I suppose, the biggest reason why I'm so hung up on my weight is because of the limitations that being a heavy person creates for me. Walking and running hurts, it impacts my physical activity, which impacts my health in so many ways. My weight issues go so much farther than "morbid obesity"... My weight sets a physical limitation on my capacity as a parent, lover, friend, and servant to my community. Few things are more frustrating to me than, "I can't".

I do understand where you're coming from. Thank you for that.

 

[OJJJEM]

BREAKFAST: Leftover chicken and savory mashed sweet potato
DINNER: Spicy sausage in tomato sauce and coleslaw
*no snackstuffs... my meals were very filling

FITNESS:
No workouts in the morning and afternoon
Evening walk to digest (was going for 20 minutes, but only tolerated 10), Vitality day 9, 1 set

Weight: 304lbs
9 consecutive days of workouts

My feet are feeling a little better, but walking is still a struggle. I think the worst of it's over. I'm fairly certain that I'm in for a long rest, though. Glad my program of choice is Vitality right now. It's gentle on my body.

 

[lofivelcro]

I suppose, the biggest reason why I'm so hung up on my weight is because of the limitations that being a heavy person creates for me. Walking and running hurts, it impacts my physical activity, which impacts my health in so many ways. My weight issues go so much farther than "morbid obesity"... My weight sets a physical limitation on my capacity as a parent, lover, friend, and servant to my community. Few things are more frustrating to me than, "I can't".

I do understand where you're coming from. Thank you for that.

I just wanted to clarify: There's no reason for us to get hung up on your weight. To judge you for that. I understand that it creates troubles and obstacles for you, but what I wanted to say is, here, for us, it doesn't make a difference. I'm often in awe reading your posts. I remember that long one in your last thread, about your relationship with your husband(?) and the development of that. Didn't know what to write back then, so I kept silent.
But I'm glad you're here, doing your best, and I'm glad you're going on, despite all the hardships.

 

[OJJJEM]

I just wanted to clarify: There's no reason for us to get hung up on your weight. To judge you for that. I understand that it creates troubles and obstacles for you, but what I wanted to say is, here, for us, it doesn't make a difference. I'm often in awe reading your posts. I remember that long one in your last thread, about your relationship with your husband(?) and the development of that. Didn't know what to write back then, so I kept silent.
But I'm glad you're here, doing your best, and I'm glad you're going on, despite all the hardships.

I appreciate your statement. Thank you. I am grateful for everyone in the hive. You have all been an amazing support for me!

UPDATE: I had another relapse and was out of commission for two days. Since my husband was also sick, I sent him to get a Covid test, and it came back negative... So, it's just been a really craptastic cold. My feet are feeling better. The bruising has begun to heal, and I can walk a bit without throbbing pain. Being sick has had its hidden benefits. I've been allowed to keep my feet up and rest.

Unfortunately, I'm back to day one in my attempt at 15 consecutive days working out, but I see that it's for the best. I was overworking my body, if I'm going to be honest with myself. Commitment time: I will be be honest with myself at all times and in all things and in all places.

Power went out today. Gettin' the tropical storm bits of hurricane Ian, and it was enough to break some pretty big limbs off of all the mature trees around here... which is a lot of trees... One tree fell onto the powerline down the street from my house, but since I live across the street from a public school, I get all of the quick response perks that comes with disasters near public buildings. I'm actually kinda excited to see what the storm did to my orchard! I get an early start on preppin' this year's firewood thanks to the storm!

 

[JCU]

Glad to hear you're okay!

 

[lofivelcro]

Admiring your optimism about the storm
Hope you and your husband are on your way to a quick recovery

 

[OJJJEM]

STORM UPDATE: Only a few branches fell, lotsa beautiful, heavy (but not yet ripe) pecans, and another lotsa chestnuts (ripe and ready to collect) fell. Other than that... Just picking up sticks.

Breakfast: Tuna bacon sandwiches
Dinner: sausage, cabbage, veggie stew... I now have three days' worth of stew for myself and my family, and one serving to thaw for the (LDS) missionaries on Wednesday... Still gotta make them something on Thursday.

Fitness: I took a brief walk down to the street corner and back... Just 4 houses down. My feet seem to be alright with that. Sickness seems to be abating, too. I'll pick up my workouts in another day or two. I wanna make sure I'm fully healed before pushing myself into another possible relapse... I'VE HAD FOUR THIS TIME AROUND!!!

Current weight is unknown (battery missing from scale)
0 days consecutive workouts

A word about the missionaries mentioned earlier: If you notice them. Please, offer them a meal. They're teens just entering adulthood, far from home, not always on an easy budget, under the constant strain of rejection. All you have to say is, "I don't want to know about your church, I just want to make sure you're fed." The worst they can do is request permission to pray over the meal, and then request permission to leave you with a prayer asking God to bless you for your kindness... And they accept requests for service (yardwork, painting your walls, tearing down outbuildings, other heavy labor, etc.) for free without expecting anything in return. So, if you're recovering from a recent disaster... *cough* IAN *cough* ...flag them down... they'll probably get a whole team out there for a service project if you request it! It's the curse of knowing a Mormon. HAHAHA!

 

[JCU]

I did not know that about Mormons, so thank you kindly! Though, we don't tend to get callers for any religion. Don't know if that's a thing for all houses around a church, or if they just understand the placement of rectories...

Super glad you didn't have terrible orchard damage!

 

[OJJJEM]

I did not know that about Mormons, so thank you kindly! Though, we don't tend to get callers for any religion. Don't know if that's a thing for all houses around a church, or if they just understand the placement of rectories...

Super glad you didn't have terrible orchard damage!

Most communities don't allow proselyting, but if you see two guys in white shirts and black name tags riding bikes, chances are, it's the missionaries.... ah... there are sister missionaries, too, though...

 

[OJJJEM]

FOOT UPDATE: New bruising on the top of my left foot... Just standing around and talking to a friend when suddenly *pop* followed by bruising and the sensation of a million capillary actions taking place at once under my skin. Sent a shock throughout my entire foot, and the throbbing won't stop! I have a doctor appointment this week.