Calico
Well-known member
from
Old thread : https://hive.darebee.com/logs/251431-hira-s-training-log
And yes I changed username, I was Hiraelle on the old Hive. Also I chose to not keep my badges and start my collection again, so the lack of "programs already done" checked off in my profile is intentional
Background :
I am dealing with debilitating depression since 2008 - 2010, unmedicated, since I tried several therapists in my area and couldn't find a good fit. Also the medication I was on at some point didn't really help, so. Right now I don't trust them so I won't look at online therapy or anything, I will just try to get by on my own.
I am also fat, and queer, and recovering from a decade or more of a conflicting relationship with food (that made me fat because I tried so hard to avoid being fat btw), so all this melting pot creates body dysmorphia for me.
So where does that leave us? Well, I'm going to try to regain some peace of mind over my body by exercising, and not overdoing it because it's very counterproductive (for everyone probably, but here I'm talking about me anyway, so,), and I want to move easier and get stronger. Again. Because sometimes it's too hard so I give up for six months and I lose all that I gained but well, fitness isn't a destination is it?
It is very important, and I can't stress this enough, to not set a goal weight for me. I do not weigh myself. Last time I did, I didn't go back to the gym for four months and it was very hard to go again. I'm fat, I'll very probably stay fat, but well it's my body, I'm not a thin person trapped in a fat body, so *I* am going to exercise with *my* body.
Maybe other fat people function differently, but I only speak for myself here. I'm gonna exercise and I'm gonna eat without counting calories because, see above, conflicting relationship with food. We all have to deal with how we ourselves work, and for me? Well, when I get my head out of the water I want to get better.
I don't know what makes me get better, but I sure know what makes me worse. So no weight goal, no restrictive diet, and no looking at what others do exercise-wise when it's so much more than I do.
Hero's Journey 2023 score : 16 400 points - with quite a lot of exercises modifications but hey it counts.
And yes I changed username, I was Hiraelle on the old Hive. Also I chose to not keep my badges and start my collection again, so the lack of "programs already done" checked off in my profile is intentional
Background :
I am dealing with debilitating depression since 2008 - 2010, unmedicated, since I tried several therapists in my area and couldn't find a good fit. Also the medication I was on at some point didn't really help, so. Right now I don't trust them so I won't look at online therapy or anything, I will just try to get by on my own.
I am also fat, and queer, and recovering from a decade or more of a conflicting relationship with food (that made me fat because I tried so hard to avoid being fat btw), so all this melting pot creates body dysmorphia for me.
So where does that leave us? Well, I'm going to try to regain some peace of mind over my body by exercising, and not overdoing it because it's very counterproductive (for everyone probably, but here I'm talking about me anyway, so,), and I want to move easier and get stronger. Again. Because sometimes it's too hard so I give up for six months and I lose all that I gained but well, fitness isn't a destination is it?
It is very important, and I can't stress this enough, to not set a goal weight for me. I do not weigh myself. Last time I did, I didn't go back to the gym for four months and it was very hard to go again. I'm fat, I'll very probably stay fat, but well it's my body, I'm not a thin person trapped in a fat body, so *I* am going to exercise with *my* body.
Maybe other fat people function differently, but I only speak for myself here. I'm gonna exercise and I'm gonna eat without counting calories because, see above, conflicting relationship with food. We all have to deal with how we ourselves work, and for me? Well, when I get my head out of the water I want to get better.
I don't know what makes me get better, but I sure know what makes me worse. So no weight goal, no restrictive diet, and no looking at what others do exercise-wise when it's so much more than I do.
Hero's Journey 2023 score : 16 400 points - with quite a lot of exercises modifications but hey it counts.
Last edited:
from
So it suits me better right now to do exercises that way.
