Calico
Well-known member
Witcher
from
Toulouse, France
Pronouns: She/Her
Posts: 301
from
Toulouse, France
Pronouns: She/Her
Posts: 301
"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"
Old thread : https://hive.darebee.com/logs/251431-hira-s-training-log
And yes I changed username, I was Hiraelle on the old Hive. Also I chose to not keep my badges and start my collection again, so the lack of "programs already done" checked off in my profile is intentional
Background :
Background update, April 2025:
I turned my life over twice in 2024, once in January when I left my ex and moved in with friends, and once in July when I moved into a new city. It's been very tiring! But very worthwhile.
It's still important that I don't have a weight goal, but I can have plenty of other goals. I've been going outside, and seeing people, and reading a lot, and trying to learn new things - I've let my brain sleep for a few years, and now I'm making it work again. I want to create a habit of working out, too, and it's alright if I keep it slow.
I still don't know where the destination is, but I have an idea of what makes me get better, day-to-day. So do I know where I can end up? No. But I know that I can take the next step. Slowly, but moving forwards.
Hero's Journey 2023 score : 16 400 points - with quite a lot of exercises modifications but hey it counts.
And yes I changed username, I was Hiraelle on the old Hive. Also I chose to not keep my badges and start my collection again, so the lack of "programs already done" checked off in my profile is intentional
Background :
I am dealing with debilitating depression since 2008 - 2010, unmedicated, since I tried several therapists in my area and couldn't find a good fit. Also the medication I was on at some point didn't really help, so. Right now I don't trust them so I won't look at online therapy or anything, I will just try to get by on my own.
I am also fat, and queer, and recovering from a decade or more of a conflicting relationship with food (that made me fat because I tried so hard to avoid being fat btw), so all this melting pot creates body dysmorphia for me.
So where does that leave us? Well, I'm going to try to regain some peace of mind over my body by exercising, and not overdoing it because it's very counterproductive (for everyone probably, but here I'm talking about me anyway, so,), and I want to move easier and get stronger. Again. Because sometimes it's too hard so I give up for six months and I lose all that I gained but well, fitness isn't a destination is it?
It is very important, and I can't stress this enough, to not set a goal weight for me. I do not weigh myself. Last time I did, I didn't go back to the gym for four months and it was very hard to go again. I'm fat, I'll very probably stay fat, but well it's my body, I'm not a thin person trapped in a fat body, so *I* am going to exercise with *my* body.
Maybe other fat people function differently, but I only speak for myself here. I'm gonna exercise and I'm gonna eat without counting calories because, see above, conflicting relationship with food. We all have to deal with how we ourselves work, and for me? Well, when I get my head out of the water I want to get better.
I don't know what makes me get better, but I sure know what makes me worse. So no weight goal, no restrictive diet, and no looking at what others do exercise-wise when it's so much more than I do.
I am also fat, and queer, and recovering from a decade or more of a conflicting relationship with food (that made me fat because I tried so hard to avoid being fat btw), so all this melting pot creates body dysmorphia for me.
So where does that leave us? Well, I'm going to try to regain some peace of mind over my body by exercising, and not overdoing it because it's very counterproductive (for everyone probably, but here I'm talking about me anyway, so,), and I want to move easier and get stronger. Again. Because sometimes it's too hard so I give up for six months and I lose all that I gained but well, fitness isn't a destination is it?
It is very important, and I can't stress this enough, to not set a goal weight for me. I do not weigh myself. Last time I did, I didn't go back to the gym for four months and it was very hard to go again. I'm fat, I'll very probably stay fat, but well it's my body, I'm not a thin person trapped in a fat body, so *I* am going to exercise with *my* body.
Maybe other fat people function differently, but I only speak for myself here. I'm gonna exercise and I'm gonna eat without counting calories because, see above, conflicting relationship with food. We all have to deal with how we ourselves work, and for me? Well, when I get my head out of the water I want to get better.
I don't know what makes me get better, but I sure know what makes me worse. So no weight goal, no restrictive diet, and no looking at what others do exercise-wise when it's so much more than I do.
Background update, April 2025:
I turned my life over twice in 2024, once in January when I left my ex and moved in with friends, and once in July when I moved into a new city. It's been very tiring! But very worthwhile.
It's still important that I don't have a weight goal, but I can have plenty of other goals. I've been going outside, and seeing people, and reading a lot, and trying to learn new things - I've let my brain sleep for a few years, and now I'm making it work again. I want to create a habit of working out, too, and it's alright if I keep it slow.
I still don't know where the destination is, but I have an idea of what makes me get better, day-to-day. So do I know where I can end up? No. But I know that I can take the next step. Slowly, but moving forwards.
Hero's Journey 2023 score : 16 400 points - with quite a lot of exercises modifications but hey it counts.
Last edited:
from
So it suits me better right now to do exercises that way.
