No rest for the wicked
- Thread starter legolo
- Start date
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Laura Rainbow Dragon
Well-known member
Congratulations on 30 consecutive days of exercise, legolo! Way to go!
Mamatigerj
Well-known member
from
Happy Badge Day! 
Brontus
Well-known member
Badge Day! 
legolo
Well-known member
Thanks everybody 
Consecutive Days: 31
Betten Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Chest & Shoulders light
30 seconds rest
50 Hop Heel Clicks: 2 sets with 30 seconds rest
1 minute rest
30 seconds Jumping Jacks
I should really buy excercise shoes. My feet got so sweaty that I almost slipped during the Hop Heel Clicks. I mean, how expensive could they be? A cheap pair is probably 30 bucks or so. That´s a week worth of food. I can probably live a week without food
Consecutive Days: 31
Betten Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Chest & Shoulders light
30 seconds rest
50 Hop Heel Clicks: 2 sets with 30 seconds rest
1 minute rest
30 seconds Jumping Jacks
I should really buy excercise shoes. My feet got so sweaty that I almost slipped during the Hop Heel Clicks. I mean, how expensive could they be? A cheap pair is probably 30 bucks or so. That´s a week worth of food. I can probably live a week without food
aku-chan
Well-known member
Congrats on reaching 30 days! 
legolo
Well-known member
Consecutive Days: 32 (kinda)
Took a long walk
Didn´t really do anything yesterday because I got demotivated by the utter lack of progress. As an ADHD guy I´m extremely impatient by nature. Things have to happen fast, waiting is torture, concepts like suspense are completely alien to me. I usually spoiler myself while watching the movie, because I don´t want to wait for the conclusion. Which is why I stopped watching movies around 2015/16.
I did so much! I drastically changed my diet, reduced sugar intake by a lot, tried to avoid processed food when possible (which is really difficult when fresh ingedients are just insanely expensive), I´ve been excercising for over a month and nothing! This is so frustrating...
Took a long walk
Didn´t really do anything yesterday because I got demotivated by the utter lack of progress. As an ADHD guy I´m extremely impatient by nature. Things have to happen fast, waiting is torture, concepts like suspense are completely alien to me. I usually spoiler myself while watching the movie, because I don´t want to wait for the conclusion. Which is why I stopped watching movies around 2015/16.
I did so much! I drastically changed my diet, reduced sugar intake by a lot, tried to avoid processed food when possible (which is really difficult when fresh ingedients are just insanely expensive), I´ve been excercising for over a month and nothing! This is so frustrating...
OJJJEM
Well-known member
Mother of Dragons
Posts: 585
Sometimes, what's not happening outwardly is happening inwardly instead. Has your capacity for strength/mobility increased, for instance? Have you found yourself coping slightly more readily with life's challenges than in the past even a little bit? Do you find that what remains of your sad immune system is a little stronger? Even the slightest change, even barely noticeable, will add up and make a HUGE difference! If you lose only a pound a month, by the end of the year, you'll have lost 12lbs.
legolo
Well-known member
Spent today budgeting. The results are truly disgusting. It is actually cheaper to eat a frozen pizza than making a salad. Even if I only use the most basic ingredients (lettuce, peppers and onions. And I didn´t even include the onions in the budget since I still have a lot I stole from a nearby field after they were done harvesting. They were gonna plow them under anyway). And there´s really people who can´t understand why so many people are too fat...
Consecutive Days: 33
Better Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
I really have to find some source of motivation. Normally I´d use all my hate, rage or pain, but honestly, I´m not feeling anything anymore. Yay for depression. There´s nothing but the void.
Consecutive Days: 33
Better Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
I really have to find some source of motivation. Normally I´d use all my hate, rage or pain, but honestly, I´m not feeling anything anymore. Yay for depression. There´s nothing but the void.
Brontus
Well-known member
The void sucks...literally and figuratively. Fight the void. Fight it. I've had to pull myself out of the void more times than I can remember, but something has usually been the trigger - music, a random message from a friend, a random joke, your conscience, something that interrupts those intrusive thoughts. The stupid part is that it may be something different every time. But the important thing is to fight it however you can and not let it claim you.
legolo
Well-known member
I did it! I´m fixed, for now at least. Thank you British Broadcasting Corporation! If I knew all I had to do was watch the Dr Who specials on Disney, I´d have done that weeks ago. Sure, I´m a bit miffed they brought back Skinny and not Bowtie, but at least it´s not Ears. Or the scotsman, although techinically Skinny is a scotsman too. Oh, who cares, Doctor Who! I´ve actually laughed again. Thank you spaceman.
Day 35(ish)
Yesterday and today: long walk
Now that I got a bit of my groove back, you could expect me to do actual excercise again tomorrow
Day 35(ish)
Yesterday and today: long walk
Now that I got a bit of my groove back, you could expect me to do actual excercise again tomorrow
legolo
Well-known member
Curse you, British Broadcasting Corporation! Warp take you... Thanks for the nightmares! I didn´t like the weird body horror stuff in the second special, but I was okay with it. But then you just have to use that incredibly creepy puppet from hell in the third one? Unbelievable... And yes, I severly dislike puppets. And clowns. And dolls. And sharks. And zombies. And obscene amounts of gore. As a result, as you might have guessed, I don´t really like horror movies. Except for Evil Dead. Or any other B-Horror-movie with Bruce Campbell. There is no bad television product with Bruce Campbell, I tell you
Consecutive Days: 36 (finally back on track, wooo!)
Bettern Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC
I´m back, baby!
Honestly, I planned for a lot more. At least 5 sets of Stopgap and 3 or more sets of Arms & Shoulders. But this is good too. Let´s see how much I can do tomorrow.
Consecutive Days: 36 (finally back on track, wooo!)
Bettern Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC
I´m back, baby!
Honestly, I planned for a lot more. At least 5 sets of Stopgap and 3 or more sets of Arms & Shoulders. But this is good too. Let´s see how much I can do tomorrow.
legolo
Well-known member
Alright, so kinda forgot to update yesterday.
Wasn´t feeling that great, spent most of the day outside getting Remus (my car, it´s a black VW Lupo so of course I´m gonna give him a wolf name) ready for the technical inspection next week. Did 3 set of Better than Nothing right before bed.
Consecutive Days: 37
Wasn´t feeling that great, spent most of the day outside getting Remus (my car, it´s a black VW Lupo so of course I´m gonna give him a wolf name) ready for the technical inspection next week. Did 3 set of Better than Nothing right before bed.
Consecutive Days: 37
legolo
Well-known member
Consecutive Days: 38 (almost to 40)
several Jumping Jacks from the Snowball Fight
Better Than Nothing: 5 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC (planned 5, stepped wrong in the third set and hurt my foot)
1 minute rest
Armageddon: 3 sets with 1 minute rest inbetween
1 minute rest
Better Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Great Day Workout
I´ll add my usual diary entry later when my arms get their function back.
Okay, so my arms work again. My loyal readers will wonder what the hell is going on today and I have absolutely no answer. I just kept going
It´s great the Snowball Fight started today, perfect timing. I started playing Coral Island again (basically a woker Stardew Valley with wonderful graphics and chock full with environmetalism and love) and now I check the Snowball thread after every ingame day to see if I got new snowballs to dodge. It´s a nice little break from sitting too long. So give me more snowballs!
several Jumping Jacks from the Snowball Fight
Better Than Nothing: 5 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC (planned 5, stepped wrong in the third set and hurt my foot)
1 minute rest
Armageddon: 3 sets with 1 minute rest inbetween
1 minute rest
Better Than Nothing: 7 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Great Day Workout
I´ll add my usual diary entry later when my arms get their function back.
Okay, so my arms work again. My loyal readers will wonder what the hell is going on today and I have absolutely no answer. I just kept going
It´s great the Snowball Fight started today, perfect timing. I started playing Coral Island again (basically a woker Stardew Valley with wonderful graphics and chock full with environmetalism and love) and now I check the Snowball thread after every ingame day to see if I got new snowballs to dodge. It´s a nice little break from sitting too long. So give me more snowballs!
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OJJJEM
Well-known member
Mother of Dragons
Posts: 585
Happy to be of service...I love the Snowball Fight
legolo
Well-known member
Consecutive Days: 39
around 100 Jumping Jacks due to the Snowball Fight
Arms & Shoulders: 5 sets with EC
Figured I´d done enough cardio for today and to give a little rest to my feet. Who could´ve guessed that doing 200+ Jumping Jacks on horrible hardwood floors barefoot would be so painful? I knew I´d regret joining the fight. But aside from all the blood and the burns resulting from my "treatment" this will be over soon enough. Note to self: DO NOT cut open blood blisters and then cauterize the wounds with a searing hot blade. Ah well, what´s done is done and I have to suffer the consequences. Luckily my pain tolerance is pretty high, so it doesn´t bother me that much. I´ll still finish the event. My familiy breeds them too stubborn for our own good
around 100 Jumping Jacks due to the Snowball Fight
Arms & Shoulders: 5 sets with EC
Figured I´d done enough cardio for today and to give a little rest to my feet. Who could´ve guessed that doing 200+ Jumping Jacks on horrible hardwood floors barefoot would be so painful? I knew I´d regret joining the fight. But aside from all the blood and the burns resulting from my "treatment" this will be over soon enough. Note to self: DO NOT cut open blood blisters and then cauterize the wounds with a searing hot blade. Ah well, what´s done is done and I have to suffer the consequences. Luckily my pain tolerance is pretty high, so it doesn´t bother me that much. I´ll still finish the event. My familiy breeds them too stubborn for our own good
legolo
Well-known member
Consecutive Days: 40
160 Jumping Jacks: 4 sets a 40, 30 seconds rest
Pain. Plus I slipped a few times because the band aids started to get soggy. Luckily I just bought new antiseptic salve two months ago so the tube is still full.
Maybe I´ll do some more arm stuff later, but standing still too long hurts like the dickens because of the constant pressure.
160 Jumping Jacks: 4 sets a 40, 30 seconds rest
Pain. Plus I slipped a few times because the band aids started to get soggy. Luckily I just bought new antiseptic salve two months ago so the tube is still full.
Maybe I´ll do some more arm stuff later, but standing still too long hurts like the dickens because of the constant pressure.
Brontus
Well-known member
20 days to another badge
legolo
Well-known member
Finally normal excercise again!
Yesterday: Consecutive Days: 41
Did 300 and something Jumping Jacks because of that damned Snowball Fight. Sooooo glad that´s finally over. In the end it wasn´t even fun anymore, only incredibly annoying, which is why I checked out yesterday afternoon.
Today
Consecutive Days: 42
Chest & Shoulders Light
10 seconds plank hold + 20 Shoulder Taps
Was looking for new workouts and saw Making It Happen. Looked fun but I wanted to try it out before I commited to doing it. And since ground excercises (and especially any kind of push up) are hell for me I started with the plank and shoulder taps. Yeah, definite no. I can technically do it, but all the veins in my eyes will burst and I´ll look like a damn pothead. Hopefully I´ll have recovered from the 3 days of Jack Hell by tomorrow and can get back to my usual workouts.
Yesterday: Consecutive Days: 41
Did 300 and something Jumping Jacks because of that damned Snowball Fight. Sooooo glad that´s finally over. In the end it wasn´t even fun anymore, only incredibly annoying, which is why I checked out yesterday afternoon.
Today
Consecutive Days: 42
Chest & Shoulders Light
10 seconds plank hold + 20 Shoulder Taps
Was looking for new workouts and saw Making It Happen. Looked fun but I wanted to try it out before I commited to doing it. And since ground excercises (and especially any kind of push up) are hell for me I started with the plank and shoulder taps. Yeah, definite no. I can technically do it, but all the veins in my eyes will burst and I´ll look like a damn pothead. Hopefully I´ll have recovered from the 3 days of Jack Hell by tomorrow and can get back to my usual workouts.
legolo
Well-known member
Alright, I´m back. Yesterday and before I couldn´t really get much done. Pretty heavy pre-Christmas funk, which is currently still ongoing. Managed to drag my carcass outside for a walk every day at least. I´m really tired, but at least that weird eye flickering has stopped. I´ll still count the last two days as days with excercise, because A) I really couldn´t be bothered to do more and B) It´s Christmas. That crap is horrible enough
Consecutive Days: 45
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC
1 inute rest
Better than Nothing: 3 sets with EC
I love BtN. It´s light on the shoulders, which is just great on days when my shoulders hurt, so basically every single day I´d love to do more, but I still have so much Christmas crap to do. Wrap presents, find clean clothes, make myself somewhat presentable, visit my parents... I hate Christmas so friggin much.
Just did another 3 set of BtN with EC. Needed something to break the Christmas anxiety for a moment...
Consecutive Days: 45
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC
1 inute rest
Better than Nothing: 3 sets with EC
I love BtN. It´s light on the shoulders, which is just great on days when my shoulders hurt, so basically every single day
I´d love to do more, but I still have so much Christmas crap to do. Wrap presents, find clean clothes, make myself somewhat presentable, visit my parents... I hate Christmas so friggin much.Just did another 3 set of BtN with EC. Needed something to break the Christmas anxiety for a moment...
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Laura Rainbow Dragon
Well-known member
legolo
Well-known member
Wow, who could´ve predicted that Christmas would suck that hard? I did Absolute highlight this year was heartburn so bad I couldn´t sleep or breathe at all. Fun! And a rather persisting cramp in my right calf is stopping me from doing something meaningful excercise-wise today.
Consecutive Days: 46
Arms & Shoulders: 5 sets with EC
Oof, wrong decision. My shoulders still hurt as usual, but with my crampy leg I thought I´d give it a rest today. So I somehow put myself through 5 sets of Shoulder stuff. But then again, another day done and hopefully another step taken on making this whole excercise stuff permanent. Old habits die hard, but apparently building new ones takes forever
Absolute highlight this year was heartburn so bad I couldn´t sleep or breathe at all. Fun! And a rather persisting cramp in my right calf is stopping me from doing something meaningful excercise-wise today.Consecutive Days: 46
Arms & Shoulders: 5 sets with EC
Oof, wrong decision. My shoulders still hurt as usual, but with my crampy leg I thought I´d give it a rest today. So I somehow put myself through 5 sets of Shoulder stuff. But then again, another day done and hopefully another step taken on making this whole excercise stuff permanent. Old habits die hard, but apparently building new ones takes forever
legolo
Well-known member
Alright
Tuesday: Consecutive Days: 47
5 sets Better Than Nothing with EC
Had internet trouble again(it´s only been two weeks since the last big blackout, so why shouldn´t they mess up the internet on christmas?) Did 5 sets of Better Than Nothing before bed, because that´s the only workout I can do from memory.
Wednesday: Consecutive Days: 48
Spent the entire day doing forest work with my dad. Was way too tired to do anything else. And I swear by the God-Emperor on the Golden Throne himself, if anybody says that cutting down trees and loading them up all day does not count as excercise, I´ll flip ´em in the woodchipper.
Thursday: Consecutive Days: 49
Chest and Back Light
My shoulders hurt, my lower back hurts, my everything hurts and I haven´t slept in 3 days. But the show must go on.
Tuesday: Consecutive Days: 47
5 sets Better Than Nothing with EC
Had internet trouble again(it´s only been two weeks since the last big blackout, so why shouldn´t they mess up the internet on christmas?) Did 5 sets of Better Than Nothing before bed, because that´s the only workout I can do from memory.
Wednesday: Consecutive Days: 48
Spent the entire day doing forest work with my dad. Was way too tired to do anything else. And I swear by the God-Emperor on the Golden Throne himself, if anybody says that cutting down trees and loading them up all day does not count as excercise, I´ll flip ´em in the woodchipper.
Thursday: Consecutive Days: 49
Chest and Back Light
My shoulders hurt, my lower back hurts, my everything hurts and I haven´t slept in 3 days. But the show must go on.
Brontus
Well-known member
10 days to another badge though.
legolo
Well-known member
Consecutive Days: 51
Shoulderwork
Everything still sucks. And in addition to all the other crap I have going on, that crap is starting to affect me physically. I´m completely drained, I can barely do anything, I´m feeling feverish and dizzy. What a way to end the year! But then again, it´s just fitting, I suppose. After all, this year sucked. A lot...
Shoulderwork
Everything still sucks. And in addition to all the other crap I have going on, that crap is starting to affect me physically. I´m completely drained, I can barely do anything, I´m feeling feverish and dizzy. What a way to end the year! But then again, it´s just fitting, I suppose. After all, this year sucked. A lot...
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…healing vibes!
legolo
Well-known member
Thank you @mavie
Consecutive Days: 52
Secret Santa workout.
Good workout for days like yesterday. Too busy with family and new years and crap for a real workout. And I kinda forgot about the deadline so it was now or never
Today
Consecutive Days: 53
Secret Santa Workout without walk
1 minute rest
Better Than Nothing : 3 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Brave Today: 3 sets with EC
2 minutes rest
5 knee push-ups
Puh, managed to get the whole "gift I gave" Secret Santa workout in there. Kinda. All the excercises are in there at least Never doing that again, too much combat stuff. The movements are too fast, too explosive. Not for me, yet. And now there´s a big sweaty forehead print on my yoga mat. Wondeful... I´ll go back to doing my normal workouts tomorrow.
Consecutive Days: 52
Secret Santa workout.
Good workout for days like yesterday. Too busy with family and new years and crap for a real workout. And I kinda forgot about the deadline so it was now or never
Today
Consecutive Days: 53
Secret Santa Workout without walk
1 minute rest
Better Than Nothing : 3 sets with EC
1 minute rest
Brave Today: 3 sets with EC
2 minutes rest
5 knee push-ups
Puh, managed to get the whole "gift I gave" Secret Santa workout in there. Kinda. All the excercises are in there at least
Never doing that again, too much combat stuff. The movements are too fast, too explosive. Not for me, yet. And now there´s a big sweaty forehead print on my yoga mat. Wondeful... I´ll go back to doing my normal workouts tomorrow.
Laura Rainbow Dragon
Well-known member
Santa?
legolo
Well-known member
Dammit. Yes
Laura Rainbow Dragon
Well-known member
Aww! Thank you!Dammit. Yes
That was brave of you to gift me with a workout so far outside your own wheelhouse, to better fit with my training style and goals.
P.S.: You should see my yoga mat after push-ups. I swear I could swim on it some days!
legolo
Well-known member
Brave or stupid. It´s a family traitAww! Thank you!
That was brave of you to gift me with a workout so far outside your own wheelhouse, to better fit with my training style and goals.
P.S.: You should see my yoga mat after push-ups. I swear I could swim on it some days!
But then again, that was kind of the whole point of the Secret Santa thing, to make a good gift for someone else.And to be fair, I was fairly certain I would get someone on a completely different level from me. I even said so directly when signing up
legolo
Well-known member
Okay.
Consecutive Days 53 Part 2, apparently
Arms & Shoulders : 5 sets with EC
Okay, this will sound totally weird, completely unstructured and quite probably insane, but here goes. I don´t like where, who, what I am right now. And since every other random person will try to do their New Years Resolutions I kinda figured I´d give that a try. So this is a list of all the stuff I want to get done this year. It´ll be written down without any structure or order, some things will have deadlines, others won´t. The important thing is that it´ll be written down, so I can hold myself accountable. And honestly, if I can do almost 2 months! of daily excercise, I can do all that other stuff. So here goes
New Years Resolution Stuff
Buy decent excercise clothes (deadline: January 12th)
Move out (deadline July 24)
lose 10kg/22lbs (deadline Summer Solstice)
lose another 10kg (deadline Winter Solstice)
get my shit together
bring structure and order back
- "normal" biorhythm (starts right now, go to bed before 1 AM, get up before 9:30AM)
- stop eating garbage
- go outside every single day
work on being happy
- no friggin idea how to do that
So yeah. That´s my extremely ambitious list of stuff to do. To be honest I probably won´t get any of that done, I completely lack discipline, self control, integrity or any other positive character traits. But I have to change, I can´t keep doing what I´ve been doing. I feel like I haven´t developed at all since 2015, I´ve just been giving in to all my vices, let myself go and stopped growing at all. But it´s finally time to grow up.
Consecutive Days 53 Part 2, apparently
Arms & Shoulders : 5 sets with EC
Okay, this will sound totally weird, completely unstructured and quite probably insane, but here goes. I don´t like where, who, what I am right now. And since every other random person will try to do their New Years Resolutions I kinda figured I´d give that a try. So this is a list of all the stuff I want to get done this year. It´ll be written down without any structure or order, some things will have deadlines, others won´t. The important thing is that it´ll be written down, so I can hold myself accountable. And honestly, if I can do almost 2 months! of daily excercise, I can do all that other stuff. So here goes
New Years Resolution Stuff
Buy decent excercise clothes (deadline: January 12th)
Move out (deadline July 24)
lose 10kg/22lbs (deadline Summer Solstice)
lose another 10kg (deadline Winter Solstice)
get my shit together
bring structure and order back
- "normal" biorhythm (starts right now, go to bed before 1 AM, get up before 9:30AM)
- stop eating garbage
- go outside every single day
work on being happy
- no friggin idea how to do that
So yeah. That´s my extremely ambitious list of stuff to do. To be honest I probably won´t get any of that done, I completely lack discipline, self control, integrity or any other positive character traits. But I have to change, I can´t keep doing what I´ve been doing. I feel like I haven´t developed at all since 2015, I´ve just been giving in to all my vices, let myself go and stopped growing at all. But it´s finally time to grow up.
Laura Rainbow Dragon
Well-known member
One day at at time. One step at a time. One breath at a time.
Not true.
You signed up for Secret Santa, even though you feared it would be hard.
You followed through on doing it--and did a great job with it!--even though it was hard.
You made it through another Christmas (which the world likes to pretend is easy--but for many of us it is NOT).
You now have 53 consecutive days of exercise under your belt.
I could go on--and I suspect you have many more victories we here in the Hive don't even know about.
Strength is not life being easy.
Strength is showing up and getting your shit done even when life is hard.
And this is you, legolo.
Have you tried the Counting Victories Challenge? I think it might surprise you.
Mamatigerj
Well-known member
legolo
Well-known member
*grunts in pain while sitting down"
Consecutive Days: 54
Arms & Shoulders: 3 sets with EC
Resolutions stuff
Go to Bed on Time:
was in bed quarter to 1
Get up on Time: got up at 9, went back to bed for half an hour until my alarms goes off. That warm fuzzy feeling in bed is the only time somebody hugs me, even if it´s just my blanket.
Weighed myself this morning. 112,5kg/248lbs. I think. I have one of those ancient analog scales. Gonna buy a new digital one later.
Everything hurts again My arms are still sore from yesterday (why the heck did I decide to do an additional workout? What the heck is wrong with me? ), my thighs are killing me, walking and sitting are an absolute nightmare. Those 30 squats from yesterday were a huge mistake.
Since there´s still more stuff to do today, I´ll update this threat. Or just make a new one like yesterday. Don´t now yet, let´s find out later today
Consecutive Days: 54
Arms & Shoulders: 3 sets with EC
Resolutions stuff
Go to Bed on Time:
was in bed quarter to 1Get up on Time:
got up at 9, went back to bed for half an hour until my alarms goes off. That warm fuzzy feeling in bed is the only time somebody hugs me, even if it´s just my blanket.Weighed myself this morning. 112,5kg/248lbs. I think. I have one of those ancient analog scales. Gonna buy a new digital one later.
Everything hurts again
My arms are still sore from yesterday (why the heck did I decide to do an additional workout? What the heck is wrong with me? ), my thighs are killing me, walking and sitting are an absolute nightmare. Those 30 squats from yesterday were a huge mistake.Since there´s still more stuff to do today, I´ll update this threat. Or just make a new one like yesterday. Don´t now yet, let´s find out later today
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legolo
Well-known member
@Laura Rainbow Dragon
Thank you for those kind words. I can´t see stuff like that in myself, because I never learned that. My whole life I got nothing but negative feedback from everybody around me. "You suck at this. You´re too lazy. You´re too fat. Why can´t you do that, what´s wrong with you? You look absolutely disgusting" Well, if that´s literally everything you´ve ever known, you start to belive sh*t like that. I have absolutely no self esteem or even a concept of self-worth. Looking back, I don´t really think my parents could´ve f*ed up more. Constantly criticizing me, only caring about and punishing me for mistakes I made, enabling all my addicitions, filling me up with candy so I´d shut up and leave them to spend time with my younger sister. If you get crap like that at home and everywhere else, it breaks a lot of stuff inside you. As you can guess, my psyche is seriously messed up.
I know most of my faults, I know my problems and I know what I should do. But it´s just so much easier to just sit here and wallow in self-pity, focus on all your flaws and mistakes and never do anything about that.
Thank you for those kind words. I can´t see stuff like that in myself, because I never learned that. My whole life I got nothing but negative feedback from everybody around me. "You suck at this. You´re too lazy. You´re too fat. Why can´t you do that, what´s wrong with you? You look absolutely disgusting" Well, if that´s literally everything you´ve ever known, you start to belive sh*t like that. I have absolutely no self esteem or even a concept of self-worth. Looking back, I don´t really think my parents could´ve f*ed up more. Constantly criticizing me, only caring about and punishing me for mistakes I made, enabling all my addicitions, filling me up with candy so I´d shut up and leave them to spend time with my younger sister. If you get crap like that at home and everywhere else, it breaks a lot of stuff inside you. As you can guess, my psyche is seriously messed up.
I know most of my faults, I know my problems and I know what I should do. But it´s just so much easier to just sit here and wallow in self-pity, focus on all your flaws and mistakes and never do anything about that.
Laura Rainbow Dragon
Well-known member
Dear legolo,
I am so very sorry this has been your experience.
I can only partially understand what you have experienced in that I grew up with one parent who was constantly critical and at times abusive, and one who was (for the most part) supportive and loving. The mixed messages fucked with my mind, and I grew up with some pretty messed up beliefs, but also some healthy ones. Once I moved out on my own and got some distance from all the confusion, I was able to see things more clearly and start to work on my beliefs that were messed up. The fact that I had at least enjoyed some support while growing up definitely made that work easier for me than it would have been without it.
You have a longer and steeper hill to climb. But I think you have the strength to climb it. I'm going to recommend Counting Victories again and also Daily Gratitude. You've acknowledged that you have trouble seeing the good in yourself. Counting Victories will help you learn to do that. Daily Gratitude will help you to better see the good in the world around you.
I was taught many years ago a similar exercise, Gifts and Blessings, in which every day I had to write down one thing I had been blessed with that day and one gift I had given of myself out into the world.
These exercises are most powerful if you do them for yourself and do them consistently. But in case you are feeling stumped in getting started, I offer these examples for you from today:
Victory: You got out of bed on time. -- Do not discount this! Some days our victories are big. Some days they are small. Getting out of bed on time is a goal you set for yourself. And you achieved it today. That is a victory!
Gratitude/Blessing: You have a nice, warm blanket that gives you comfort. -- Again: no discounting this! We can all look out at the world and see ways in which our blessings could be bigger but aren't. But focusing on that is a path to unhappiness. One of your goals is to work on being happy. Focusing on what you do have is a way to do that. Look out at the sky at night and see that vast sea of blackness in which nothing can live at all. I don't know the extent of the light pollution where you live, but if you have an opportunity to go somewhere where you can see stars, do it, and realize that the vast majority of those stars are too hot or too cold or the wrong size to have formed planets in their Goldilocks zone to support life. But we get to live on Earth, a freak anomaly of a planet that's just the right size, and the right distance from Sol, tilted at just the right axis, and with a moon of just the right size orbiting around it that it's made a pretty decent home for our own freakish and fragile species. This is a blessing indeed!
Gift: In your post above you thanked me and you complimented me, telling me my words to you had been kind. I put myself out there when I wrote what I did, disagreeing with your previous assertion and suggesting positive traits and acts which I see in you. Complimenting people is something I was not able to do in my youth, as a result of my own childhood traumas. I was actually quite phobic about it, fearing people would laugh at and ridicule me if I tried. I fought long and hard to overcome that fear. Today I can do it. And today I understand that if I offer someone a compliment and they are unable to accept it, that lack of acceptance is a product of their demons and not about me at all. But it's still nice to offer someone a compliment and have it be accepted. When you accepted my words, you reinforced the positive and hard work I have done to better myself. And you offered me a compliment in return--which I know from my own experience is not nothing!
Stay strong, legolo. You can do this!
I am so very sorry this has been your experience.
I can only partially understand what you have experienced in that I grew up with one parent who was constantly critical and at times abusive, and one who was (for the most part) supportive and loving. The mixed messages fucked with my mind, and I grew up with some pretty messed up beliefs, but also some healthy ones. Once I moved out on my own and got some distance from all the confusion, I was able to see things more clearly and start to work on my beliefs that were messed up. The fact that I had at least enjoyed some support while growing up definitely made that work easier for me than it would have been without it.
You have a longer and steeper hill to climb. But I think you have the strength to climb it. I'm going to recommend Counting Victories again and also Daily Gratitude. You've acknowledged that you have trouble seeing the good in yourself. Counting Victories will help you learn to do that. Daily Gratitude will help you to better see the good in the world around you.
I was taught many years ago a similar exercise, Gifts and Blessings, in which every day I had to write down one thing I had been blessed with that day and one gift I had given of myself out into the world.
These exercises are most powerful if you do them for yourself and do them consistently. But in case you are feeling stumped in getting started, I offer these examples for you from today:
Victory: You got out of bed on time. -- Do not discount this! Some days our victories are big. Some days they are small. Getting out of bed on time is a goal you set for yourself. And you achieved it today. That is a victory!
Gratitude/Blessing: You have a nice, warm blanket that gives you comfort. -- Again: no discounting this! We can all look out at the world and see ways in which our blessings could be bigger but aren't. But focusing on that is a path to unhappiness. One of your goals is to work on being happy. Focusing on what you do have is a way to do that. Look out at the sky at night and see that vast sea of blackness in which nothing can live at all. I don't know the extent of the light pollution where you live, but if you have an opportunity to go somewhere where you can see stars, do it, and realize that the vast majority of those stars are too hot or too cold or the wrong size to have formed planets in their Goldilocks zone to support life. But we get to live on Earth, a freak anomaly of a planet that's just the right size, and the right distance from Sol, tilted at just the right axis, and with a moon of just the right size orbiting around it that it's made a pretty decent home for our own freakish and fragile species. This is a blessing indeed!
Gift: In your post above you thanked me and you complimented me, telling me my words to you had been kind. I put myself out there when I wrote what I did, disagreeing with your previous assertion and suggesting positive traits and acts which I see in you. Complimenting people is something I was not able to do in my youth, as a result of my own childhood traumas. I was actually quite phobic about it, fearing people would laugh at and ridicule me if I tried. I fought long and hard to overcome that fear. Today I can do it. And today I understand that if I offer someone a compliment and they are unable to accept it, that lack of acceptance is a product of their demons and not about me at all. But it's still nice to offer someone a compliment and have it be accepted. When you accepted my words, you reinforced the positive and hard work I have done to better myself. And you offered me a compliment in return--which I know from my own experience is not nothing!
Stay strong, legolo. You can do this!
legolo
Well-known member
Today Part 2
Go outside (wish I didn´t. It didn´t stop raining. And because I kinda forgot everything outside is still flooded I walked half the route through kneedeep water, because I was too stubborn to turn around)
Tried a second workout for today, no dice. Arms too sore, legs way too sore, trudging through the floodlands was workout enough.
I´ll think about doing Counting Victories. It sound pretty much useless, but that is probably me being overly sceptical again. I´m very good at that
Go outside
(wish I didn´t. It didn´t stop raining. And because I kinda forgot everything outside is still flooded I walked half the route through kneedeep water, because I was too stubborn to turn around)Tried a second workout for today, no dice. Arms too sore, legs way too sore, trudging through the floodlands was workout enough.
I´ll think about doing Counting Victories. It sound pretty much useless, but that is probably me being overly sceptical again. I´m very good at that
Mamatigerj
Well-known member
Counting Victories has really helped me.
TopNotch
Well-known member
It really depends on what you count as a victory. Sometimes simply getting out of bed can be a victory. Or doing the dishes. It really doesn't matter so long as you can tick something off, something that you have achieved today. And then, surprisingly, you start to look for something that you can tick off tomorrow...
legolo
Well-known member
Consecutive Days: 55
Shoulder Stretch
Chest & Back Light
Go to bed on time: technically , actually 
. I went to bed at 12:30, but didn´t sleep at all. Too many thoughts pestering me.
Get up on time: 9:30 just like my alarm demanded. And I didn´t go back to bed after
Don´t know if I´ll make it outside today. The weather is absolutely disgusting, very strong squalls with heavy rain. If it clears up (very big if, apparently it´s supposed to stay like that till the weekend) I´ll go.
If the huge evil online shop is correct my new digital scale will arive tomorrow, in addition to my christmas gift for myself. I bought wireless headphones because my old ones are almost broken and my phone´s aux jack is always full of lint and sand anyway and I´m getting tired of cleaning it with brake cleaner and q-tips every two weeks... And since I don´t go outside without music I took the money my grandma gave me and invested in my fitness and mental health, instead of buying something else.
Bloody hell, my legs are somehow even worse than yesterday! Note to self: NEVER do squats, squats are evil and rubbish. And apparently make my legs pretty much useless for at least two days...
Shoulder Stretch
Chest & Back Light
Go to bed on time: technically
, actually . I went to bed at 12:30, but didn´t sleep at all. Too many thoughts pestering me.Get up on time:
9:30 just like my alarm demanded. And I didn´t go back to bed after Don´t know if I´ll make it outside today. The weather is absolutely disgusting, very strong squalls with heavy rain. If it clears up (very big if, apparently it´s supposed to stay like that till the weekend) I´ll go.
If the huge evil online shop is correct my new digital scale will arive tomorrow, in addition to my christmas gift for myself. I bought wireless headphones because my old ones are almost broken and my phone´s aux jack is always full of lint and sand anyway and I´m getting tired of cleaning it with brake cleaner and q-tips every two weeks... And since I don´t go outside without music I took the money my grandma gave me and invested in my fitness and mental health, instead of buying something else.
Bloody hell, my legs are somehow even worse than yesterday! Note to self: NEVER do squats, squats are evil and rubbish. And apparently make my legs pretty much useless for at least two days...
Brontus
Well-known member
YES!! That's what I'm TALKIN' ABOUT!! I KNEW IT!! I knew you had it in you!! Dang straight, buddy, you're doing it!! You're striving for something! This is why I kept cheering you on. If you could make it this long exercising and not give up, I had a feeling you might get inspired. I hoped and I prayed and dadgum man!! Look at you go!! Knockin' it outta the park!
I went through some of the same crap in my past and let me tell you, accepting love from others ain't easy, especially when you've been conditioned to hate yourself, but you gotta learn to do it. There are people showing you love here. Believe them. You are powerful, bruh. You beat cancer. You been through hell and back and you are still standing. You may feel like you're in pieces, but you're still standing. You are more than the sum of your past experiences. You are a precious being on this earth and no one, NO ONE, can take that from you. The fact that you made that list of resolutions and are working at following it is already steps in the direction of getting your shit together.
YOU THE MAN
I'm so proud of you, brother.
And guess what... 5 more days to a new badge - 60 consecutive days.
I went through some of the same crap in my past and let me tell you, accepting love from others ain't easy, especially when you've been conditioned to hate yourself, but you gotta learn to do it. There are people showing you love here. Believe them. You are powerful, bruh. You beat cancer. You been through hell and back and you are still standing. You may feel like you're in pieces, but you're still standing. You are more than the sum of your past experiences. You are a precious being on this earth and no one, NO ONE, can take that from you. The fact that you made that list of resolutions and are working at following it is already steps in the direction of getting your shit together.
YOU THE MAN
I'm so proud of you, brother.
And guess what... 5 more days to a new badge - 60 consecutive days.
I can tell it gets a lot easier over time and make your legs fit for the rest of your life.
legolo
Well-known member
Consecutive days: 56
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC
2 minutes rest
6 Up & Down Planks
GTBOT: (well, technically not since I went to bed 5 minutes after, but that´s cause I had to look for a new tube of toothpaste, because why should I keep fresh ones in the bathroom?)
GUOT:
Go outside: my order has finally arrived and I had to test out my new headphones. I´ll need some more time to get used to them, but otherwise they´re great. Weather today sucked. It was dry, but freezing and windy as hell.
Tested my new digital scale today. It works. And it´s mean... But I´m curious to see what it says when I don´t weigh myself immediately after lunch
My legs work again! Finally...
Decided to do something for my core. I usually don´t do core excercises at all and it shows. 6 are too much, my eyes hurt like hell. At least all the veins in my eyes didn´t burst, so that´s something. I´ll aim for 5 every day and if I can do that without problems I´ll increase.
Stopgap: 3 sets with EC
2 minutes rest
6 Up & Down Planks
GTBOT:
(well, technically not since I went to bed 5 minutes after, but that´s cause I had to look for a new tube of toothpaste, because why should I keep fresh ones in the bathroom?)GUOT:
Go outside:
my order has finally arrived and I had to test out my new headphones. I´ll need some more time to get used to them, but otherwise they´re great. Weather today sucked. It was dry, but freezing and windy as hell.Tested my new digital scale today. It works. And it´s mean... But I´m curious to see what it says when I don´t weigh myself immediately after lunch
My legs work again! Finally...
Decided to do something for my core. I usually don´t do core excercises at all and it shows. 6 are too much, my eyes hurt like hell. At least all the veins in my eyes didn´t burst, so that´s something. I´ll aim for 5 every day and if I can do that without problems I´ll increase.